SMOKE & MIRRORS

wed. I mean, been there done that, bought the t-shirt, now we’re bound together for an eternity.

bed. he rides dick like it’s the ultimate sport.

behold that man has my heart. 

Ageing old white men just don’t get my motor running, especially when one has a face that resembles an overused, overworked asshole, sorry @thexavierknox And the other two? don’t get me started on the pompous ass, recently discovered lost member of the umpa loompa family. You know what? I’m gonna make like Henry VIII and do away with them all. 

It’s a blessing if you ask me. 

THEO: Wtf u take like seven years to reply

THEO: Do you text someone

THEO: ANNNNND then throw ur phone

THEO: I almost just drowned in the sink.

THEO: like dead-ass drowned. I saw my entire life flash before my eyes.

THEO: You know Devon and me, we want like a shit ton of kids, right?

THEO: obviously not for like another few years, preferably when our sex drive is non-existent, so we can fill the void.

THEO: but what happens if we have a kid that's allergic to the dogs, do we just get rid of the kid?

I married the unlucky sod, so I mean, I think that speaks volumes on how I feel about him, you know when I first met him, and he was grossly coupled up, I was purely interested in getting the dick, and before I know it, it wasn’t only his dick I wanted to ride, but also his heart. On a more serious note, Devon is the one person who sees me, truly sees me, He makes me a better person, I could write a whole paragraph about what I think about him, and how much I love him because I mean? don’t tell the guy, but he’s pretty much perfection and could’ve done 10x better and landed himself a hot stud - what am I saying, I am the hot stud. Devon landed himself a one in the million, but to wrap this up? he gives great head and has a tappable ass.