blackBeauty.

Your pain was too heavy for you to carry on your own

And so you came to me,

Asking me if I could carry it with you

With you!

I was happy to help you

I was happy to be chosen

Someone finally choosing me

My desperation to be loved made me the perfect candidate for your not so great intentions that you conveniently neglected to mention

Me so eager

I didn’t realize what you had me signing up for though I grabbed on to your pain I made them my own

I just knew that we were in it together

Together

But I was alone

I’d taken on your hurt,

Placing it on my back

The most heaviest knapsack

How could you ever have even possibly carried that?

Now, when I cry because of the weight of what you’ve given me to carry, I realize I’m not crying because of YOU

Though this abandonment has left me scarred

But when I cry, I’m crying FOR you

How did you ever get this far?

My soul aches because I can’t believe you’ve come all this way carrying a bag so heavy

I find myself thinking about the path you took to find me

Carrying all this shit on your back,

As I sweat from carrying it now myself, I still want to know where did you get all of this stuff from?

Because this book bag is so, so heavy

I start to unpack for you

Each tear that falls down my cheeks,

Representing each wound you’ve inflicted onto my heart

All because what you carried on your back was too heavy,

I will always remember the way your chest puffed up when you unloaded all your stuff onto me

While my chest caved in

You looked at me and your eyes told me to do something with your pain

So, I said okay

Still dedicated to helping you I started writing this poem

I allowed you to walk away with your back free

Wondering if you’d ever come back to me

All the while,

Still crying for you

Dying for you

Because this backpack is so heavy

Weighing me down,

But love