Mille

⋅˚₊‧ 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅ 𝚆𝚎𝚕𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐 ⋅˚₊‧ 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅

𝙰𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝙼𝚎:

❥ 𝙼𝚢 𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝙲𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚎, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚎 𝙲𝚊𝚖𝚖𝚒/𝙼𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚎. 𝚄𝚜𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚢𝚘𝚞'𝚍 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎! ❥ 𝙸'𝚖 17 ❥ 𝙸 𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚎/𝚑𝚎𝚛 ❥ 𝙸'𝚖 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝙽𝚘𝚛𝙲𝚊𝚕 ❥ 𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚊 𝚏𝚎𝚖𝚖𝚎 𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚋𝚒𝚊𝚗!! ❥ 𝙸’𝚖 𝚎𝚡𝚌𝚕𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚏𝚎𝚖𝚖𝚎4𝚋𝚞𝚝𝚌𝚑 ❥ 𝙴𝚗𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚊𝚐𝚎, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝙸 𝚊𝚕𝚜𝚘 𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚔 𝙵𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚑

𝙸 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚋𝚒𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚖 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙱𝚞𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚏𝚎𝚖𝚖𝚎 (𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚌𝚌𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚝𝚒𝚍𝚋𝚒𝚝 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎)

𝙵𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚖𝚜: 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙻𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚄𝚜, 𝙰𝚛𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚎, 𝙻𝚒𝚏𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚂𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎, 𝙷𝚊𝚒𝚔𝚢𝚞𝚞, 𝙽𝚊𝚗𝚊, 𝙼𝚢 𝙻𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝙿𝚘𝚗𝚢, 𝙿𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝙹𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚢𝚏𝚒𝚜𝚑, 𝙹𝙹𝙺, 𝙷𝚊𝚒𝚔𝚢𝚞𝚞, 𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝙲𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚡

𝙻𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚜: 𝙻𝚎𝚜𝚋𝚒𝚊𝚗 𝚑𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢, 𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚐𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚖𝚢 𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛, 𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚜, 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚖, 𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚐𝚎 𝚏𝚊𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚛𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎, 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚖𝚎, 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚛, 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚣𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚚𝚞𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚜, 𝚌𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗

⋅˚₊‧ 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅ 𝙼𝚢 𝚏𝚊𝚌𝚎 ⋅˚₊‧ 𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅

“It’s one thing to know within myself that I am Femme; wordlessly affirming my identity to myself every time I clasp a string of milky pearls around my neck. It is an entire other to be recognized and known as such.

Being straight-passing comes with many privileges in life. To larger heteronormative society, it is seen as the more palatable and acceptable way to be a lesbian. It means I face much less danger on average than my Butch counterparts as I am not assumed to be a lesbian. There are two sides to every coin, and on the other face of my Femme identity is a feeling of deep isolation and loneliness. I wish to be known and understood as more than the assumptions that heteronormative society projects onto me.

To me, Stone Butch Blues is a manifestation of hope. It holds a promise that someday, I will find others like me, and they will look at my pearl necklace, and my sparkly eyeshadow, and my frilly outfits, and they will see me. Not just the version of me that my presentation suggests, which is straight, quiet, and compliant–they will see all of me. The smart, opinionated, unmistakably passionate me. The vulnerable, flawed, and admittedly scared version of me. They will see the Femme me, and they will love and understand all of it.

Gender constructs play a large part in this. People are much quicker to accept the idea of a man mistreating/abusing his female partner; in fact, it’s sometimes seen as a given. Yet on the flip side, many don’t believe women to be capable of such horrors, therefore allowing cases of mistreatment/abuse in lesbian relationships to fly under the radar completely.

Additionally, in the lesbian community, we often perpetuate and normalize toxic behaviors ourselves. It’s easy to make jokes about lesbians staying friends with their exs and going back to toxic relationships over and over, yet with that, there is a complete lack of serious conversation and support for those experiencing abuse.