[Diary of Riddle Rosehearts ā¢ Part II] A CRY FOR HELP š„
When I was overblotting, something broke inside me and it felt unfixable. Just like a mirror shattering on the ground after hanging on the same wall for so many years, perfectly still. That break was the starting point and made me switch. I couldnāt explain it, it just felt that way through my whole body. The limits I have never been allowed to crossā¦ have been this time and I had no idea what would happen next. As odd as it may sound, I experienced the feeling of relief for the first time. It was like my suffering suddenly became real and was not only in my head anymore.
Momā¦ Yes you heard it right! Because youāve always corrected me to call you āMotherā instead of āMomā. I believe it was to keep it formal. Nonsenseā¦!! You wanted to draw a line between your own son and yourself. Why so? Because you thought it would make my emotions vanish all of a sudden? Well, guess what dear Mother, it did NOTā¦ It only enabled my pain to grow bigger over the years and made me a controlling tyrant and above allā¦ a monster who couldāve heavily harmed my own peers andā¦ friendsā¦
I am crying writing those words and my tears never stop flowing. It is so painful but I have finally found a way to relieve this buried pain Iāve been holding inside me for too long.
I understand all the knowledge and discipline you taught me, Mom. I really do. Perhaps it was your own way to show me your loveā¦? Because you werenāt able to give it in any other ways? I donāt know, itās all confusing. I feel so lostā¦ because the world you prepared me to get in is not the way you taught me. But there is one thing I can tell now :
"Controlling everything is not what leads you to freedom, Mom. It only sends you to a mental prison for madness as the final stageā¦ Freedom is not Obedience."
Text is made by me. Embracing charactersā emotions through drawing is own of my specialties and this illustration allowed me to express the depth and complexity of Riddle Rosehearts. Thank you and may you find your inner peace Riddle š¹ā„ļø
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