Full Of Delight

I heard sentiments like this a lot when I was with the ex. Mostly from his parents. (Pastor) This requires a person to believe that all girls who dress “immodestly” are dressing for the sole purpose of gaining attention from men. It also fails to define what the hell modest is even supposed to be. The ex-MIL believed showing ankles or collarbones was immodest.

Girls… seriously.. wear whatever the fuck you want. For whatever reason you want. Don’t let anyone shame you into believing your worth is solely determined by whether “real men” have sexual interest in you. These aren’t “real men”, or at least they aren’t good men. They are men who want to control and subjugate you and other women. They want you to question yourself and your worth which gives them more power over you.

If you’re comfortable in short shorts… rock them. If that mini-skirt or little black dress makes you feel beautiful or sexy or powerful or whatever… then wear it with your head held high and with the absolute knowledge that you are indeed all those things. If you feel most comfortable in modest attire, by whatever definition of modest you choose, then wear what makes you feel good. Your clothes have nothing to do with men or with society in general for that matter. If you want to attract the attention of another person… man or woman… then feeling comfortable and confident is a great way to do that. Clothes can help give us a little boost when we need it. But that is just one of many, MANY things that can influence what a woman wears and it seriously is no one else’s business.

This also assumes that the every man who is attracted to a woman who isn’t dressed “modestly” is a “pig”. Pigs are pretty smart and some people find pigs to be absolutely adorable. Pigs can also be hilariously funny and sweet. Why do we need to demonize men for finding a woman attractive? And why are we assuming that clothes are the sole reason a man might be attracted to a woman?

Also.. from experience.. it isn’t that these “real men” don’t find immodest women sexy, desirable, or attractive… it’s that they don’t want to admit that they do. Denying any attraction makes them feel superior to those who freely admit it.