Fuck Yeah Stripper Shit

1. Leave our nipples alone

2. Tipping a few singles on a $100+ dance is annoying and if you had any fun at all you should just give us at least $20 (or even if you didnt bc if you didnt have fun it was probably your own damn fault)

3. The less you touch me the better dance / heavier grind / sexier moveset you will get. If you keep fucking trying to grope me I’m just going to concentrate on squirming away out of your grasp and pay absolutely no attention to your boner

4. I actually LOVE performing on stage when people are tipping well so get your friends together and tell them to stop being cheap and you’ll get the show you want

5. Don’t lick or suck on me a n y w h e r e omg I’m sweaty and covered in dirt and club germs and also fuckin… Every time a guy puts his mouth on me all I can think of is clarawebb’s post on how strippers are a conduit for straight men to relate to one another sexually and I want to laugh but also cry because I’m so grossed out by his mouth slime

6. Stop asking so many got dang personal questions

7. Stop assuming I make 1k every night, cute how it’s always the cheap guys who wanna talk about how much money I must make, who the hell do you think is getting me to 1k if you won’t even buy a dance :(

8. Don’t fucking lead us on and say “after this drink we’ll get a dance” if you don’t intend to do so because you’re wasting our work time and reducing our earning potential for the night and it’s really appalling that you get off on that. Instead go home and meditate on how not to be a poo

9. Every other customer thinks he’s just as different and special as you. Don’t worry. You’re all equally special!!!!!! Everyone is just as special as everyone else