fixation corner

HELLO YES ??? I love being insufferable !!1!!1?!

okay this man can NOT afford top surgery. look at him in his self proclaimed shit-hole apartment. He's buying vegetarian ramen because it's cheaper and buys the worst binders because they cost the least. this also means sock packers.

His layered button up over his baggy shirts is not only a fashion statement, he is actively attempting to cover up the binder straps. Most of his shirts will either have smaller neck holes or he'll layer it so nobody can see the damn thing.

He's definitely stealth. Nobody knows and he likes it that way. In my head he gets upset if anyone "figures him out", in a really defensive way. Less than favorable reactions to him coming out in the past (when he was younger and couldn't be stealth yet), so he immediately becomes defensive and almost angry over the topic. Unhealthy, but his whole "We're both bullshitters" speech makes me think he believes he's lying to everyone about being a guy, and he has to come to the realization that he's not. A LONNNGGG journey of self acceptance and deconstructing negative views on trans people that had been ingrained into him.

Also he is wearing his binder to bed. does NOT follow safety standards in desperate attempts to relieve dysphoria. Such bad imposter syndrome about being a dude when he's literally like that tm.

Adam will wheeze and bitch about how bad his asthma is while a cigarette is in one hand and the other is adjusting the bottom strap of his binder. He plays his asthma off like it's genetic and not because his lungs are being actively killed.

I like to think that, in an ideal world, post saw-trap Adam would come to the conclusion that he can't keep living like this, breathing hard after the briefest amount of effort, so he actually takes breaks from his business and embraces his body as it is. yippie to self love !!

Adam probably feels vaguely jealous that he can't just walk around the house shirtless like an "actual guy" but he has an epiphany and says fuck it and does walk around shirtless. Pre-op trans men not binding my beloved !1!1!1!!!

I think it was my friend who mentioned him doing back street testosterone, mostly as a joke but it stuck in my brain. Drug deals but it's just his T-shots.

Speaking of!! I think he likes needles more than the average dude. Makes him feel more masc that he does his own shots. Keeps the needles a little longer than he should before he throws them out to get rid of the evidence.

I do think his years of awful binding practice bites him in the ass though. But with the right support and self acceptance he doesn't need top surgery to feel valid and real.

(i have one too but it's so poorly drawn i wouldn't dare)

AUGHH!!! THANMYOU THANK YOU !!! ALSO DRAW YR SHIT ITS SOOO THERAPEUTIC HIGHLY RECOMMEND

TW for the whole ramble, but it's all pretty normal as far as normal Saw content goes. Suicide mentions cause it's pretty important for both of their stories.

The one with white hair and glasses is Jack Shepherd. He tried to end his life on multiple occasions and even when he was kidnapped for trap shenanigans it was when he was on the roof of his apartment complex. Him being called a leech is pretty repetitive in his stuff, seeing as that's what his tape refers to him as. He stopped trying to get better a long time ago and pre-trap he's at the point in his life where he barely has the ability to take care of himself.

The one with the cardigan and middle part is James Perkins, who works for a suicide hotline and sucks at his job dear god. He's selfish to all hell and back pre-trap and everyone in his life knows it. There's a giant wall built between him and everyone else, and it's ruining his ability to create relationships of any kind. He's called selfish in his tape :3

PARTNER TRAP! Both James and Jack are collared and leashed together with this several foot long chain so they're in forced proximity. The collars have these needles in them that, when thirty minutes passes, they're injected into the victim's neck. For James, there's an additional rule, that if he tries to help himself and gets caught with a silly camera he'll be injected again for punishment. It doesn't take long for James to be walking nausea, trying to get Jack (who's took to sobbing on the floor) to make ANY amount of progress. It's basically set up like an escape room, and most if not all of the clues are about James' life and if he doesn't open up neither of them are getting out. If you look real close, it's their roles all over again! It's like James is at the suicide hotline all over again and Jack has to want to get better

drawing of the trap, courtesy of my boyfriend. I love him so much you guys have no idea

Anyways, the whole things set up so James has to learn to put himself in someone else's care to force-learn empathy, and Jack has to learn how to care for/save himself and others. Post-trap their personalities do a 180. Jack gets a ego boost from actually surviving and becomes borderline manic? he misses his trap a lot of the time because it's the only time he's felt in control of anything. James becomes a paranoid mess who doesn't want to leave Jack (they hold hands a lot your honor) in fear of something bad happening to them both again. The trap, for the most part, "worked", but the two are extremely co-dependant now and don't know how to handle losing the other. They become apprentices because self fulfillment, Jack takes a lot more eagerly to the role and James is more or less just there as moral support for him. They're a 2 for 1 package do not separate !!

of course me and my boyfriend have saw inserts are you kidding me?! nothing is more romantic than being trap'd 2gether

hapby pride 👍

happy pride to penis strong and his boyfriend or something. this took me 4 days 👎

I NEVER POSTED THIS WHAT