blehh...

02.03.2023.

I have everything I have ever wanted, yet something holds me back from enjoying what I got. Sometimes i feel like i exist instead of live. And sometimes I feel alive with the littlest thing.

Like yesterday, i was all numb and emotionless. I couldn't feel anything, physically or emotionally. Only my brain was working basically. My girlfriend started telling me all these good things about myself, in the beginning I was getting angry because i didn't want to listen, especially to words like "you're beautiful, you're amazing, you're so sexy". They bothered me to the point I told her to stop; but thank gid she didn't. She paused. She gave me some time. Then she simply kissed me. And i felt her emotions being poured into me through that kiss.

I'm still not 100% okay, but at least I can cope till I feel something again.