Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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I don’t know how to stop loving you. I’ve tried — in quiet ways, in loud ones, in the silence of my own thoughts and in the noise of everything around me. But nothing seems to reach the place where you still live inside me. You weren’t just someone I loved. You were the feeling of finally being understood. With you, life felt warmer, softer, more alive. And now that you're gone, it’s like something inside me is quieter like I lost not just you, but the version of myself I became when I was with you. That version of me laughed more, hoped more, loved more. And I miss her too.
People say time heals, but they don’t know what it’s like to lose something that felt like home. I don’t just miss you I miss us. The conversations, the glances and the comfort of your presence.
I don’t know if I’ll ever fully let you go. Maybe I’m not supposed to. Maybe love like this isn’t something that disappears; maybe it just changes shape, becomes something I carry differently. I’m learning, slowly, to live around the ache. To find pieces of peace in the little things, even if they still remind me of you. This isn’t about closure it’s about truth. And the truth is, you mattered. You still do. And some part of me will always be grateful for the way you made me feel, even if all I have left now are echoes.

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Every time a man gives way to vanity, every time he thinks and lives in order to show off, this is a betrayal. We do not need to reveal ourselves to others, but only to those we love. For then we are no longer revealing ourselves in order to seem but in order to give. ~Albert Camus
“Outside the window Sky and earth exchange silver. In the moonlight I forget I’m human.”
— Wang Xiaoni, White Moon (via crimsonkismet)

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“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” ― William Shakespeare, Hamlet
“When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them.” - Lemony Snicket, Horseradish

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