hey, girlie, drag your carcass over here!

watching hannibal for the first time as a 23 year old and let me tell you. if my teenage self had watched this show when i was in high school it would have done irreversible damage to my psyche. this is the Exact kind of show that would have stuck to my unmedicated brain like tar and poisoned me just the same. i would have had such an unhealthy obsession with this show as a 13 year old. thank god i'm seeing it now instead of 10 years ago. side note amazing show :)

*listens to music autistically*

i can always tell when it's 3 am even without looking at the clock bc i feel violently ill and start crying about how i wasn't born an androgynous man. every single time without fail.

i really can't decide if it's a curse or blessing that i look EXACTLY the same as i did when i was 13 :/

listening to music with headphones at 100 will save me. save me music as loud as possible for hours on end. no negative consequences for this btw

WHAT 👏 IF 👏 I 👏 KILLED 👏MYSELF 👏

i feel so fucking normal about everything today :)

oh we're really back in the fucking building huh.

im afab but do not feel connected to that in any fucking way. i feel connected to 0 genders actually. nothing. i literally just exist in a fucking flesh prison. i wish i wasnt real. i wish i was amab but androgynous and fem-leaning and looked beautiful no matter how i dressed. i wish i wasnt cursed with this fucking body i hate. i wish i wasnt ugly and sick all the time. i wish i was made of plastic. smooth and featureless. i wish my gender was a crisp, slightly warm breeze on an april morning. i wish my gender was celadon green. i wish i was anything but what i am. i wish to be happy.

fuckksbsjdjfjjksjdbfjjsdjd hnnnnnnnnghghgngngnngnng. i think i'm going crazy actually. if i don't get my tits chopped off in the next 30 seconds i think i'm going to kill myself