mars

Hey, I'm Mars :) here's a quick 'about me'

they/he, transmasc

22 and been using edblr on/off since i was 16 (termed twice and still coming back so pls just block don't report!!!)

Currently relapsing.

dx: autistic, adhd + mental illnesses

artist

pro recovery, this is just a vent space

MINORS DNI (I won't follow back if no age in bio)

Stats:

HW: 182

LW: 117

CW (14/11): 133.6

GW1: 150 - normal bmi range threshold for me

GW2: 130

GW3: 110

UGW: 100 *

height 5'5

I think with my genetics just losing weight is not enough (although I do have a lot more fat to lose)

I finally took the plunge to start testosterone the other week, which should help long term, but I think I need to stop being scared and commit to working out quads so that I actually have the muscle to get that lean look

My cis guy friend who i hadn't seen since June commented on my weight loss

Some of my old trousers and tighter shirts fit now and I use the smallest hole on my belt

My face looks better in photos and when I smile

Holy shit

I will not be satisfied until I have this physique

And most of the weight I've lost so far has come off my abdomen and face (down 4+ inches at my waist)

In other words, my fat distribution and waist to hip ratio is objectively the worst it's ever been. It's easily my most clocky feature rn 🍐😮‍💨

Being a mens XS in tops and a M or larger in trousers fucking sucks. The waist is always too big while the hips and thighs are snug. But if I get the right waist size sometimes it doesn't fit at all or it'll be unflattering af

I know it's not forever and eventually as I lose more weight my fat distribution won't have such a big discrepancy.

I think at this point I can safely say I've recovered from my binge eating disorder. I don’t identify with that version of myself anymore

It was a pretty dark time for me, I really lost myself for a while. It's scary being that out of control.

I still have a lot of damage to undo, but at least the inertia is in the right direction now. (I started to fit back into some of my clothes!)