Pokemon card update (sorry that this is my life now) - spoke to a gal in another Card Factory (who was REALLY nice) and she said there's been a big delay with loads of stockists, so there's still hope of me getting my new pink card tin yet. People are selling them online for like double RRP and I refuse to pay it on principle because scalpers for collectibles are cunts. She also told me about a hobby shop about 15 mins away from me and they always do pre-orders for new releases to be picked up in-store! So I've followed them on insta and turned notifications on for their posts.

When I said Pokemon cards were taking over my life I was not kidding. New launches were meant to go live today and I've been refreshing a million shops online constantly trying to get some, but because I've been working today I couldn't get out and people have had better success in stores it seems. I'm working tomorrow as well! By Sunday there'll definitely be nothing left. Scream!

There's been an ongoing complaint with a patient who believes they are entitled to a certain branded medication against a prescription written generically and it's draining the life out of me. I'm now in the third week of having to hear from this person. For clarity, there's no clinical reason they require said brand, and if there was a clinical reason then the prescription would've been written for the brand anyway. The issue is that the difference in price between the generic and the brand is *huge*, which we can't just take the hit on because we'll not get reimbursed for it, and they were repeatedly told that if they have a brand preference they can certainly try speaking to the surgery to get a new prescription form written for said brand, but they just kept saying "Prescriptions are free here!" and it suddenly dawned on me that...like...are there people out there who think that because medications are free for patients to receive, that also must mean the medication is free generally? My god I cannot be arsed who on earth has the energy and time in their lives to escalate complaints like this just to be difficult for the fucking sake of it.

There are 5000 reprobates descending upon my town tomorrow for their big weird orange order freakshow march that they do every year, as if I don't have enough horrors in my life!!!

Spoke/cried at counselling today about how I feel like an alien and have been full of self-loathing since. I know the only way to make friends as an adult is to ultimately just do things - joining wee clubs and hobby groups and whatever else - but it feels beyond me. I'm so afraid of trying, so afraid of being perceived, so afraid of being vulnerable. Chronic illness has taken so many things from me but the one I can actually work to get back is some confidence and it just feels impossible despite putting in (what feels like) a lot of effort this year particularly. I'm scared I really do have nothing to offer.

I started collecting Pokemon cards again and it's taken over my life. It's all I think about. I bought a new binder for my cards, I watch TikToks of people opening cards, I've been all over trying to buy new packs myself, I downloaded an app to keep a digital catalogue of which cards I have from which collections and to track their current value. Send help.