From Where I Come From

Sotto il cielo di Roma

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Bella Luna

On an evening in Roma

Be patient. Don’t be too quick to judge. Be kind and be compassionate.

It’s not that hard to do. Look beyond yourself.

Yes I understand that you’re going through a period of change. Doesn’t mean everyone else is subject to that change. We’re all on different paths and everyone’s best is measured differently. Not everyone needs to subscribe to only your methods for yours is not the ONLY method.

Don’t let self-righteousness cloud that head of yours. Give others the benefit of the doubt and love them. It doesn’t help to force your ideals on everyone just because it feels right for you. Not everything is measured in black and whites. I know it may be hard for you to see this in your world of ultimates.

But please try.

Sincerely,

I know you dislike me. I know you can’t bear me. The thought of me, the sight of me, the sound of my voice throws you off. 

You tell me not to be so emotional, and I’m working on it. I’ve tried to remove my emotions from the equation of just about anything that has to do with you.

But still I’m not convinced that your “face,” your “expression,” your general “coldness” means nothing. I was raised to perceive these non-verbal communication cues. Heck, I even went to school for it.

So I’m not at all convinced that you’re just being “you” when you’re dealing with me. I can see the difference with how you talk to the others but you switch immediately when you have to talk to me.

For the most part, I guess I’m fine with it. I’ve come to accept it for the past few years we’ve been together and I’m even on the path of accepting that it’s my future with you.

At some point, I wonder if maybe I’m just asking too much. That it’s just a case of difference in personality and how you relate to others. But more often than not, I believe it’s otherwise.

I believe that your treatment towards me is just a result of a deep seeded hate towards me and my being. Maybe I’m too effeminate. Maybe I’ll never square with your other guy friends.

As much as I’m willing to try to change for you, I’m also inclined to believe that it’s never going to be enough. And every time you are “yourself” towards me, I contemplate walking away just a little bit more.

Not that you’d ever miss me or be bothered about my absence anyway.

With tears,