I'm not very into making a big deal out of month milestones, but I have felt particularly in awe of Cole reaching 5m last week. Kind of because month 4 with Jett was so incredibly hard; he went through a sleep regression and that month has been seared in my brain as the one to get past. Possibly b/c it's been overshadowed with other tricky things with Cole (colic and a move) or b/c I've been more successful with cosleeping this time, it just didn't feel like such a mountain of a month as I'd built my expectations up for. At any rate, we're on the other side now and I'm just really thankful for this beautiful boy I get to love and study. He's giant wearing 12-18m clothes and is easily 8.3k/18lbs. Lugging him around is such hard work, but I love seeing his confidence in rolling, pivoting, scooting backwards. He's never where I set him down anymore. Everyday he gets further but not quite crawling. He's bald, but definitely growing hair and his eyes look darker every day. I'd looked up "Cole" in a baby name book in a waiting room once and it said "swarthy". I'm curious to see if he's inherited JJ's swarthy dark and handsome eyes and hair. Cole is devouring purees and our breastfeeds are getting more and more like wrestling. He flails, wiggles, pulls and pushes all at the same time during a feed with our winter jumpers and layers in the way, milk spew usually involved, all while trying to hold his strong, long body on mine. It's wild. He has a loud squawk, is studying his and my hands intenseky, loves having his very round head rubbed when falling asleep and loves laughing nose to nose with his big brother Jett (who often tells me "when I was the baby and Cole was the big boy..."). Cole dislikes carseats, loves being nappy free, has the most scrumptious gummy smile and rolls on his solid legs, always laughs when I bounce him on my knee, prefers a rattling or crunchy sounding toy and is so very cute (so happily bias). JJ and I are getting more moments of realising we're a family of 4, like when he's now up at the table during a meal having food too. It's wild and messy and lovely and hard and great. Just really hoping he starts to sleep/nap in longer streaches soon! https://www.instagram.com/p/CPk-X5wDOSnBZblqrK46mndsoCWb86qT9uUchY0/?utm_medium=tumblr

Just two guys, having a good time. Having a good time. (Jett has been warming up to Cole, who is screaming less and less. 😅) https://www.instagram.com/p/CMmCuxGDy4EmY2ZC-zG7tObqPiDwvL087b5k-00/?igshid=18mljoj8cukcq

This is 35. Often feeling touched out and also in love with nap cuddles. Lots of giving and lots of receiving. Thankful for all the micro and macro celebrations that made up a cracking birthday week. 💜 https://www.instagram.com/p/CMZYU-gDBDcZiKB6Zsjwk8Y_GK1fcEjS-768Xk0/?igshid=murcrn5ebjq0

Thankful that this time I actually believe that no stage lasts forever, or even very long. Happy three weeks in the world, Cole (or "bae Co" as Jett says it). https://www.instagram.com/p/CKIQvDFjwaKW_LADzHYZHq_QDp5C6mldfT3upg0/?igshid=mbre0s3ed4wh

Saving our best for last this year. Cole Ashley Jones Born Dec 27, 2020 He's our rainbow gift, a vibrant promise of hope and sunshine following a stormy year. We're all deeply in love with our dark haired, chubby cheeked, gorgeous little guy. https://www.instagram.com/p/CJa2D8mjT6r4h_7_NYv6NZi-8s60KxEpjlHzvo0/?igshid=16ortbaikg94t

Christmas in Australia means posing for a photo with a rudie nudie kid who spent the afternoon playing in a sprinkler with some of his besties. Thankful for summer and for being adopted for Christmas lunch by @gogglesgalore & co. What a feast and sweet afternoon. #aussieintegration https://www.instagram.com/p/CJLaSsOjtQR103wM21JRST4FsNEVUHb-1hEChA0/?igshid=vlbpahpnwgxq

There are still a few after nap cuddles I'm going need with my first baby before I think we'll be ready for the changes ahead. https://www.instagram.com/p/CIM7sIIj30BBlqiQcWbfwXOCuWa2DA22aHze2U0/?igshid=13gfbi8qv702t

Had my first pregnancy peach!!! I think my superpowers (aka very slight shrinking back of my regular allergies) are finally back. I was worried it might not happen this time round, but it's kind of the main reason I wanted to be pregnant over the summer again and a seriously big deal to me. Peaches are so damn delicious! How are regular people not eating them all day every day? Time to soak this baby in peach juice for the next 8 weeks. 🍑🍑🍑🍑 https://www.instagram.com/p/CG7I2_CDSXcKx2V1UT1IVe9Unv2jQ43QrtWsFA0/?igshid=1emmdvuqc5xc4

Happy Father’s Day, @the_10th_letter_x2! You’re the perfect combination of silly and cute. Your kitchen dance parties are second to none and Jett and I adore you. Can't wait to have our fanclub grow. Swipe for pictures of Jett at 18 and 6 months too. 😍 https://www.instagram.com/p/CEx0-G9Dn64mu8i8G-ny7HrTF1b_YGPZ_DGGE80/?igshid=v8m735mif7s9

I think we can all agree this year is extreme and hard and feels like most things are not going according to plan. And yet, I feel confident this is the exact right time for our family to be growing. We're all very excited (especially Jett) to be welcoming a baby boy in a few months. When babies come and when they go from our lives isn't part of the story we get to choose, so all I know to do is lean in to the timing, even into the timing of a 2020 baby. Sometimes you want them to come and they don't, sometimes you don't want them to and they do and other times you have to lose them somewhere in the middle of both. Little whispered promises of hope have been following me this year and are now manifesting in this rainbow baby I get the honour of growing. It's been a tricky experience so far starting with being locked down with a toddler, construction noise and some intense first trimester sickness. It felt capital D "Disaster" most days honestly. But we got through. And now the juxtoposition of the unknowns of the world and the knowns of having a new baby are hard to navigate and plan for simultaneousl. Being physically cut off from family and feeling more and more Australian feels really tricky and complicated and confusing too. However, I'm so thankful for this beautiful news I get to tend to and anchor the slow never-ending winter weeks around, and more thankful than ever for our circle of community we have in Sydney. Progress is unbearably slow in 2020, but watching my belly grow and feeling his kicks get stronger is sweet proof that life is still changing, still moving forward, isn't going to be this way forever. And I have a feeling we all better watch out: there's a wave of babies coming that are going to have some wildly strong spirits to be born in spite of all these crazy circumstances. Just to keep it really 2020 tho, baby is set to arrive Christmas Day. (And if he comes a week late like Jett did, we always have New Years day as a backup fancy zeitgeisty birthday option.) Here's to life. Wacky, wild life. https://www.instagram.com/p/CEazsY6jl7g22UpZPyz8gloRPrkaBckwtdzYvA0/?igshid=at39y7pt2tjy

We've made lots with our 12 years. A new way to be together, to love each other Dear friendships Memories of quiet and laughable and youthful things Mistakes Versions of home Dream maps, roadmaps, Google maps More mistakes and more promises. Meals Keezers and mud kitchens and collections of board games. Choices. Sacrifices. Big moves. Slow progress, long nights, long years More mistakes and more progress Lots of notes Lots of jokes Observations, questions and a new way to love each other More mistakes But we've made each other really proud too Babies New kinds of mistakes Lots more allowances Lots more olive branches and brownies from a box Lots more acceptance of ourselves and each other New milestones and traditions Mistake after mistake and repair after repair New dreams. New questions. New ways to love each other We've made life together feel familiar and new over and over and over. 💙 6.6.08 (at Sydney, Australia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CBUo0cFDPA1s1SwUrdvPbfkE5vf7rhZtCyf25o0/?igshid=1hpmue8fs06tj

Everytime I think I love you as much as I could possibly love anything, my heart gets bigger and fills up again. Thankful to get to be your mum, my sweet Jett baby. Thinking of all the mums-to-be, mums-in-waiting, those who have lost their mums or have lost babies, like us. Mother's day is for all of us. ❤️ (at Annandale, New South Wales, Australia) https://www.instagram.com/p/B__xuKdDZ2atd-EQXGQg7PZgRg7Jezm5IuJ4qo0/?igshid=d6x4wr0omgag

Happy Eastintine. Hope and gratitude grew exponentially today. https://www.instagram.com/p/B-4OCS4DUq_2P_WsAXDWn42gls7fzXnWgDcsO00/?igshid=11gtnb8uf8ntd

Promises to humanity - what sustains us, unites us, what saves us - is being whispered all the time, and maybe now with the world volume turned down, we'll be able to hear them. Even with the sobering quiet of our society and our world being put on hold, are you choosing hope? If you find yourself carrying big questions, loneliness or grief and need someone to talk to, count me as someone you can reach out to. I'm definitely not an expert or specifically prepared, but I'll make space and listen and do what I can to come along side you whatever you're shouldering. We aren't made to be alone, even in social distancing or isolation. Thank you to my beautiful neighbors for filling my week and rainbow experiment with colour and proof of togetherness in this crazy time. (at Sydney, Australia) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-UG_5IjRoFu05XTMtmWoVR7JUoE1hShPHLmXk0/?igshid=17yjs3pumfla7

Two rainbows in two days. Which makes me reminded of this: Don't surrender your hope quickly. It's a valuable resource that we must protect. There is still wonder and beauty and good things to find even in the midst of crazy times. Turn off the news and stir up your own resolve to peace, tap into stillness and reflection, and acknowledge the fears and hurts and name your strengths and things you're thankful for. Love is bigger than this insane virus and we can't let our minds reorder the world to be bigger then love. Keep a level head. Stay healthy, be kind. I'll let you know if I spot any more incredible rainbows. (at Sydney, Australia) https://www.instagram.com/p/B9ytMonH5-RN_m99A5tVRJG5RZIj71NGVJs_yU0/?igshid=wvbdhmhzzv2u

The never-ending snack-packing, nappy (diaper) changes, overnight cuddles, train-playing, toy-packing-away, playground hours and kitchen dance-a-thons has slowly turned us into this. Thanks, @stephengovelphotography for helping us see it. So refreshing to zoom out of the microsteps of living to see what we've become together. (I've noticed the practice of trying to hold the giant grand view and the granular anecdotal view at the same time, especially in parenthood, brings me a lot of joy and reassurance. A sense of broad purpose and intention simultaneously with the acknowledgement of the way we all have to live life: "moment by [unremarkable yet important and relatable] moment" is a good headspace for me. The universal in the specific.) https://www.instagram.com/p/B9ERpkuHBn-Iur19RTQLSlZ7kuzk0RoXQgD4nE0/?igshid=1wyi4zt0pdng1

8 years ago today we landed in Australia. I was 24, JJ was 26. We stayed in the hostel above the Maccas in Coogee and at another in the Cross our first few weeks here. We eventually got a tiny little apartment in the Cross/Potts Point which was a nutty place live. Since then we've lived in 4 other places across 4 suburbs, JJs finished his master's and has thrived at his work, I've started a business, we've collected a beautiful group of friends into our community, and obviously the best part is we've gotten to meet and love our favourite little human. We've become citizens, had a few grand adventures, lots of rained out camping trips, heaps of micro adventures, been in a wedding, owned 4 scooters (one was crashed into, one was backed over and another stolen... All of those were mine), 1 car, 1 cat, 1 fish and like 7 couches. We've had our share of hard things too - depression, loosing a pet, financial struggle, loneliness - but today I'm enjoying remembering how young we were and how much we've changed and done. I also keep thinking about this: In less than 6 months, I'll have lived more than 1/4 of my life in Sydney, which is pretty damn weird. I also keep thinking about how lucky I am to have @the_10th_letter_x2 to share life with. Love you, boo. Xx (at Sydney, Australia) https://www.instagram.com/p/B7-5PLFn0fVl0e7NBTMlRw1CHiBFWBqEQF5h0g0/?igshid=1jrlqjr2ax6ew