archive of words

Poetry 🌙 || Quotes ☄️ || Fiction ☁️

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Fever Dream 🌙

Subconscious 🌙

Faded 🌙

March 4, 2025 ☄️

Don't Hate Me, Please? 🌙

A Love That Lets Me Rest 🌙

Anchor 🌙

Wide Awake 🌙

Lost in your reflection,

It doesn't look like you, it never does.

No matter how you look, how you turn, how you change the lights.

You can't recognize something you have never seen.

I know you the best,

But I have no answer for who you are.

I don't want them to look in a reflection that's not mine.

I want to erase it all, everything that might be a lie.

What would be left?

If it's my shadow, I hope it doesn't take up space.

Don't look at places that don't define it.

Even though, there is nothing to define.

Look closely, there is nobody in the mirror.

Just a bunch of dreams and expectations.

You cannot know something I don't.

I need you to see right through it.

Behind the mirror, through the cracks.

I'm not sure what lies behind, but I try to keep her kind to you.

I hope it is enough to deserve a sit next to you.

I won't let her presence bother you,

but she has a lot she wants to do. Quietly.

She wants to create a lot. Quietly.

She wants them to be loud in your ears,

And take up some space in your heart.

Who really are you? She doesn't know. She never does. Don't ask her.

It feels like a punishment from the heavens when it's us who have been blind, all along, dragging through the mud with no thought, hands full, mind filled to the brim while heart remains empty.

Whose fault is it when I can see the shadows that stand behind me and you?It's ours after all.

Was it any better when I was blind? I was still wandering with a heavy chest. I now know, why it's heavy, and someone else must not feel the burden that I carry.

My shadows are mine to hide. Yours that engulf me, lights the violence within. You have no right to burden me, I can see it now.

But my violence is mine to keep, and also mine to light my way. When it's dimmed I'm gentler than yesterday. My shadows are lighter on me as some climb off my shoulders and sit in a corner. They never leave like a stain, like a proof of my being as it's imperfect self, who chooses to love over and over again.

I kept floating with my heart in my throat.

I prayed for the nightmares to never come true.

I drowned. I begged for the nightmares to never come true.

My eyes were folded underwater.

I can't keep running.

I learned to breathe underwater.

The blind fold fell off and I saw,

I was on my foot again, the soil still wet.

I still prayed for the nightmares to never come true, with my heart open in my chest.

Embrace me while you leave a place beside you,

where I can breathe in silence

Hold me but let me pull away,

To gaze into you eyes for a while

Want me but also let me go for a moment.

Love me like you water the flowers in your garden.

Love me while I'm still breathing.

Love me when I can feel loved.

Look at me, I could never bother you.

But you never looked at all.

I tried to be convenient, but made myself invisible.

You don't remember what I loved, cause I always went along with yours.

I forgot what I loved, cause I never brothered to remember those.

Maybe I already buried a part of me while trying to live my life,

Without taking up space in yours.

The price of being convenient, wasn't the love you gave,

but the price I paid, by forgetting myself.

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

What's a person if not to be remembered, to be thought of?

Do I exist because I have blood in my veins or because you remember me?

If I die once when the air leaves my lungs,

why do parts die as I continue to fade from your memories?

Who will remind me who I am as I continue to erase myself?

Who will I be when no one remembers?

I start to forget what I love as you continue to erase me too.

And my loneliness becomes immortal in my own pages, where no one looks.

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

When will you be?

In a place where you can know what's in your mind.

What's in your mind? I'm not sure.

Maybe I'm always wrong. Or am I?

Open up.

Which box exactly?

Is the one I'm holding even mine?

Is this key yours or did you steal it?

I don't remember.

Am I lying?

When will you be?

And tell me where you are?

I told you. Didn't I?