from

for the god that is not my god

at everything

now knowing decades a part of me the river howling shallowed by an infinite emerald field you told me wishing well well then everyone else spoke up howling can we skip to the part where it isnt this i dream of you window the smoke waltzes out from my cigarette it isnt this either chasing a nostalgia boiling on the stove you said not yet i dream of god howling

going to war for a stargate again i am regretting repeating a mantra to disguise real eyes decay that is more a vibe did we just did we just did we just bomb the children ive lost control of things i never knew i had a limb a wasted life

and once upon a time i was eleven i was eleven too once whisper to god but shes sleeping buy extra tikka masala in case she comes back this weekend i doubt it / take my potions everyone texting the work chat saying theyre running late not me i mean i am but i dont tell anyone

bath beer bath weed bath gatorlyte bath half cigarette thats been in the ashtray for three days bath la croix tangerine bath oils bath ashwagandha bath youtubes abt video game i have already platinumed who cares sent a screenshot to lou googled how much glyphosate miller high life 25 parts per billion i saw this girl online say she lives in mexico and the violent cartel takeover is a psyop orchestrated by the cia and i believe that i absolutely believe that

wind & the wind & the wind

if i couldnt do what easily waits for me at where i said she hurts and i still spoke into your eyes forgetting the color or shade or of a face of a skin of a wild animal im animal if im scared or anything else what matters is the safety of children i put my weapons where weapons go theres no excuse a beautiful sunset is leaving on time there is a calculation of an event that slowly dissolves a pill in my spit into a shape that fits perfectly where intention said where a voice was earnest or at least hopeful saying my god my god my god why?

dancing mad in the shadows

just fine thankyou

just me

or try something new

right there

if we distance

every day for the past 3 years i have thought about when we were sitting at a bar in whatever that neighborhood in omaha is called and you didnt believe me that when i fall in love it never ends that love is energy and energy is eternal maybe it goes somewhere else for awhile but each morning or each night for all this time i lay there with an absolute nothing that will never leave me

i amm nothing but am ghosts is whisper out other ppls mths oh mtn i miss you says ever eclipsing plane the telling palm lines of poorness a weekend of uncontrollable debt i am weak in your memory that i have walking an emptier street lit cigarette keeps unlighting in a bitter night all those businesses i businessed are dead held up into sky where the stars swam still as a blood stain in the parking lot where closeness meant death for once

something over there sitting in silence while i check my electric bill even though its on auto pay the hospital keeps calling me too abt my pains i owe but i say what abt the ghosts i havent found them yet however its a small apartment and i know theyre chipping in so i dont mind when im drunk and all my food is gone and i message twenty people to see if they still know me