My Little Girl and Me

When I was in high school, I used Tumblr as my one and only outlet for any and everything. 

Now, I rarely even think about it. I deleted the app from my phone a long time ago and now it just seems pointless to get it back. If I want to post something, I would much rather type it out on a computer than on my tiny phone screen. 

ANYway. Here I am, attempting to rekindle this fire that I HOPE is still within me when it comes to writing of any kind. Why? Well, lemme tell ya. 

Kenz is a big, bad, threenager now. Cory and I got married back in April (I’m a Williams now!) I still work full time at a bank, but now I do pet sitting and dog walking on the side - trying to get into training too. I’m in school for veterinary technology and I finished up my dog obedience training courses a few weeks ago. 

But that’s all pretty bland compared to the real reason I want to start this back up again: I’m pregnant! 

Yup, you read that right. Momma Williams is gonna have another demon spawn. (Alien if you ask my husband, but y’all know the truth). I got my first SUPER faint positive on good ol’ Independence Day and then got another faint, yet slightly darker positive the following evening. 

We already have names picked out. Pretty much decided on those before Baby Williams was even conceived. For a boy: Hayden Mitchel (my mother suggested we carry down the family middle name *barf* but then the more I said it aloud, the more it grew on me, so here we are). For a girl: Hayden Joy (the hubs picked that one out because he’s struggled with depression for a good majority of his life and, well, it’s only fitting that his first biological child have a middle name that means happiness). 

I am three and a half weeks along and I am due in mid-March. Baby Hay-hay is already causing his/her host a pretty good deal of trouble. Besides the usual hormone fluctuating-induced headaches, my incessant restless leg and insomnia, for whatever reason the “morning sickness” is ten times worse. 

First appointment is on August 23rd! We are all very excited and can’t wait to get things ready for welcoming our new addition to the family! I am gonna try and start making regular posts on here again, but we can all see how well that goes. Whoops. 

 Bye for now y’all. Have a good day or evening, wherever you are. Namaste and all that ish. 

SIncerely, 

After an extremely restless night of hardly any sleep at all, I got up and made breakfast for Mackenzee and myself and went to work cleaning my bed and bath. I’ve been slowly cleaning one room each day this week and I finally finished it all up.

Wasn’t too thrilled about a week-long (could’ve been longer, but they got my background check back quick) unpaid vacation and I’m pretty sure the cleaning is stress-induced but my apartment is clean now so I guess it all works out. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Now just have to do the following before Monday:

• make a meal plan and get groceries for the week

• family lunch date with Cory between his shifts at the gym tomorrow

• potentially go to a garage sale (???)

• lunch on Sunday with the in-law fam

And then Monday I have orientation for my new job. I’m excited and nervous and stressed and really just want a decent night of sleep tonight.

That emoji pretty much sums up my sentiments on the subject.

We tried sleeping in panties last night. While Kenz was still awake, it was fine. I told her, “if you need to go potty, you don’t have to ask or tell us, you can just go because you’re a big girl.” She went a few times before she fell asleep, but her bladder-brain connection just isn’t there yet for her to wake up when she needs to go.

It’s been a long time since I sat down and actually wrote something. About being a mom, Mackenzee, life in general... I keep making excuses as to why I can’t or why I don't have time to do it. All of that is bullshit. I don’t make the time to do it, I end up scrolling through social media, etc. 

I love writing. I always have. It helps me cope, express my emotions, and genuinely just makes me happy. I’ve let go of it for so long, I don’t know that I will be able to get back into it the way that I used to be. I want to. I would like to make a decent-length post at least once a week from here on out. Might not necessarily be “mom” or “parenthood” related, but that’s okay. 

So, to start out, I guess I will just kind of give a life update: 

Mackenzee is a little over two months away from being THREE FREAKING YEARS OLD. I don’t know how in the bloody hell that’s possible, but its happening whether I like it or not. 

A few new things about her: 

- She plays soccer on Wednesday mornings

- She is FULLY daytime potty trained (only wears a pull-up during nap and bedtime)

- She has reached the “What’s that?” phase (lord help Cory and me)

- She drinks out of “big girl cups” with straws; no more sippies! 

- She has always been extremely smart, but man she shocks me with some of the things she knows or understands

I will probably think of more things to add to that list later. 

I will also probably try to come up with a topic to write about for the week going forward, but for now - y‘all get the jumbled thoughts that make very little sense. 

As for me: 

- I really hate my current job. The sales pressure is too much and I don’t like the direction we are heading as a business

- Finally getting started on Vet Tech stuff and working on taking classes, even applied to the new Pet Palace that just opened up near my mom’s house

- I work for Wag! part-time and love every second of it, just wish I could do it more often

- My boyfriend is pretty freaking amazing, Mackenzee and I are so incredibly lucky to have him in our lives

Things have been pretty stressful lately, but I’m working on it. I don’t do enough for myself at all, but I really never have. I don’t even know where I would begin trying to do anything for me. I have this face mask I use every once in a blue moon (that’s actually funny because the mask is blue). Really that’s all I can come up with that I do for myself. Oops. 

Note to self: WORK ON THAT SHIT

Alright, I’m gonna go take a shower and use that face mask I just talked about.