Darling Dearest

This is the toy that changed everything for me as a trans guy. A vibrating, strapless strap on. It’s the first sex toy i ever bought myself, at age 19, when i was horny from starting testosterone but still believed that i was a top and that vaginal penetration made me dysphoric. I was a virgin but figured i could use it to top someone if the opportunity for sex did arise, and thought that I could be a gender affirming solo toy, as by putting the small bulb in my pussy i could pretend to be stroking the ‘cock’ portion.

When i first played with it, i soon realized that the bulb was thicker than anything i had ever had in my vagina (at that point, a single finger). I got too uncomfortable with the prospect of getting it in, so I would just play with the toy as an external vibrator. Eventually, the vibrator element died, but I still loved rubbing the smooth silicone cock end against my pussy. i would rub the head against my clit and vaginal opening, which it would occasionally press against.

I would get so wet from rubbing the dildo on my pussy, and one day, perhaps intentionally, perhaps instinctually, i pushed the head of the toy into my entrance. It wasn’t an easy fit, but my vagina was soaked and I suddenly felt overcome with desire to take the whole thing. I slow teased and fucked the toy into my pussy until it was fully inside of me. I had never expected vaginal penetration to feel so good. I fucked myself until I came from penetration, something that I now know is rare for me, but happens if I’m extremely turned on.

hold me by the neck and smack ur cock against my face over and over

smack ur cock against my cunt while im crying and begging u not to put it in

any question of whether I’m enjoying myself, if my brain is melting, what I know I am at my core, etc all answered with “I’m a stupid little cumslut” over and over

you told me after that even when you stopped asking questions I kept saying it and nodding on autopilot like I was so cockdrunk it was all I could hold onto

felt the connection between saying it and the rush of pleasure each time like that first breath when you’ve been underwater swimming and you finally get to fill your lungs

every cell screaming with relief

"I… I should fight it," Heather murmured to herself, pushing the princess plug past the tight ring of her anus until it settled neatly into her asshole. "I should resist. But now my mind just--" She broke off, realizing that she was once again slipping into one of the many mantras she'd spent most of the afternoon listening to and it was neatly overwriting the thought she was trying to think for herself. And even though that was hot, and even though it was even hotter to see herself on all fours in front of her mirrored closet door with her drippy cunt and plugged ass fully on display, it did represent a huge jump in her journey into submission and she needed to take some time to think about what she was doing and where she was headed.

And all that concern was about as useful as a paper umbrella when it came to holding back the words pressing against her lips. "--won't exist," she muttered, feeling a surge of heat between her legs and actually seeing her cunt twitch ever so slightly to reward Heather for degrading herself. She wished she had a dildo she could be squatting on right now, a big thick one to make her feel extra small and vulnerable, and that desire came as a shock to her but it didn't stop the craving from intensifying. God, just seeing her own body in the mirror made it look like her whole purpose in existence was to be fucked and used.

Which brought another mantra to mind, and this time Heather was too weak even to hesitate in repeating it. "G-getting dumber," she grunted, her voice hoarse with arousal, "mind on lock, all I am is holes for cock." It was even hotter to say it in front of a mirror, she discovered; she'd been chanting along with the files for most of her masturbation session, stoned and horny and staring at her favorite spirals, and that had been hot as fuck but it was nothing compared to seeing herself reduced to a needy, whimpering fucktoy. Heather began to wonder if she shouldn't record all this, just in case one of her favorite hypnotists wanted to see what his brainwashing was doing to her.

When she reached over for her phone, though, it was already recording, and realizing that she'd already given in to a conditioned impulse and forgotten made Heather's pussy ache so bad she just had to rub it. "I wanna be strokebait," she moaned, "I w-wanna be porn, I want to trance and be reborn…." Her fingers slid freely through the musky channel between her labia, and already Heather knew this was going to be her favorite masturbation pose from now on--she was going to get down on all fours, plug her ass and sit on a dildo, and listen to files through her earbuds until she pictured herself as nothing but a vapid, horny toy for some stranger's amusement. And then--

Heather could feel it taking shape in her own mind, and the best part about it all was that she wasn't even sure if it was her own fantasy or something that was impressed into her subconscious through hours of hypnosis. But she knew what she had to do. She had to contact the hypnotists she liked, tell them she'd been jilling off to their files and it was making her dumber and weaker and wetter every day and she--she-- "I need to be mindless, I need to be owned," she heard herself gasp out. "My slutty cunt needs to be boned." That was when she reached her first edge… but like a good girl, Heather was careful to pull her hand away before it went any further.

i need cock🥰

i was built for cock💕

I was built for cock