dissociatime!

going on a guilt trip do yall want anything

if you really cared about me you wouldn't have to ask

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

smoking the shit that turned the clock wise

this too shall pass but the fuck was that for

knowing how it tends to go with male authors and their wives it was probably marge who wrote the odyssey

I have a disorder that makes me want to headcanon every nonhuman character with the ability to purr regardless if it makes sense for their kind or not. It's called being right. With enough research i could justify a tree purring if i wanted to

i think a tree would probably bark

Blocked

fuck i can’t believe i wasted my entire life being moved by art and beauty and the indomitable human spirit ugh i should’ve been making money through internet scams

abandon shame. theres more interesting emotions to be felt

Why Wayne got socks in the jacuzzi

those are his hooves you bitch

‘bread is bad for you’ ‘rice is bad for you’ sorry im not subscribing to the idea that staple grains that have been integral to cultures for centuries are evil. i love you carbs