if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

#google translate does not capture the tone switch so i have to say. first two sentences are like. normal maybe kind of feminine posting tone #& the last is like. shounen manga protagonist. action movie hero. jojo's bizarre adventure character. #the tone you would use if you were holding a gun with the safety off (– @chadlesbianjasontodd)

never be good at your job. it's a trap. they'll just give you more and harder stuff to do and it'll pull you away from your true passion of writing gay fanfiction for people on the internet

a squirrel or perhaps a cardinal posted this

It's like the education version of "the police are corrupt and courts are inefficient, so we should bring back mob rule and it will go good because my mob has the correct morals".

ill block a bitch on pesterchum

“you’re allowed to relax, you know” unfortunately i cannot do that. Otherwise they will get me

I know we are all like "people in caveman times would drill holes in their head to relieve headaches" andwe go oh that's so stupid that's so dumb but like. then I get a headache and I'm like.ooooh I get it I get it. Grug prepare the drill.

not to be overly political and dry, and also not to imply my stances on things have been exactly obscure by diaclaiming that, but recent events have revealed to a startling extent how much the average american's understanding of west asia is about on par with what one could absorb by having the intellectual curiosity of a human sea anemone

the sheer number of opinions that can only be understood by tacking on "the person writing this believes iran is the same as iraq, both of which they cannot distinguish from afghanistan because they sleepwalked through the US War On Terror, and they also believe every Muslim Country is two cities in the middle of an enormous empty wasteland that exists only to be crossed by bandits, governed only by a single head of state who exerts power on his full lonesome" is actually madness inducing

the problem with parents is that they are undiagnosed