freya ♥︎

Don't come onto my blog. Don't even breathe near me or my blog. Infact, block me. I hate all of the people like you. H A T E. Like, a deep hatred that will never be fixed. I'll never forgive you or tolerate you or give you the light of day. I've cut off family for the same reason, ive cut off family for LESS, I could not give less of a fuck about you.

My sister just got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Its terminal and she only has a year to live. Its a rare cancer, there is no medication out there that will help her manage the pain of what she's going through nor extend her life. All we can do is make her comfortable and watch her die.

I'm heartbroken, she is everything to me. To lose her is to lose my oxygen. It hurts. It sucks. Its reality. I'm in a horrible headspace, I mean my sister is dying and all I can do is watch. I have to pull through for her and my niece, the dad is horrible and does nothing but be absent so it's honestly up to me to be my nieces rock as she loses her mom.

I loved my time on shiftblr. Everyone here is so sweet and supportive. I won't delete my account, it will still be here so hopefully one day when this hell that is my current reality is over i can come back and hang out with u guys, but right now that isn't viable. I can't do it.

I started speaking to a guy a few months ago. First guy I've spoken to in years, guys. I'm bi and usually find women more attractive. Unless ur name is Luke Hemmings. I dont play about my husband.

ANYWAYS. We got on SUPER WELL. Genuinely, he was really funny and sweet bluh bluh bluh, the usual story with men you've just met. Then i realized i was texting him first every single conversation. Is anyone surprised? Erm, no. I was a bit upset but i got over it pretty fast because that's just literally how dating in this generation goes.

So, naturally, I was like "ykw, his turn." And stopped messaging him.

My favourite anon. Your vibes are actually so it. Like okay. Hyping everyone up. That's super it girl of you I fear. And not us being synced, it's actually rough out here. I'm on day 2 rn as well HELP ME EVERYTHING IS HORRIBLE.

Im SO good. Like genuinely I am flourishing rn. (slightly sarcastic btw) Shifting is sm fun and I can feel it in my NUGGETS that im right there. (Not sarcastic btw) Like im genuinely right there. Just a little push istg.

I insert myself into edits differently. I love watching edits of Luke, and just like self inserting myself. Like yes okay if I was in the edit what would I be doing. Nothing appropriate but its fine. Its okay. But that's such a good idea bro. Lowkey gonna try it sometimes and eat it UPPP.

You make me want to go out and do a little thrifting every single time. Like pls. You sound so cool it hurts me. I know u eat ur outfits up. I can feel it. Ur energy gives 'I barely have to try and i eat it up.' Like in another life we're attached to each others hips. Best friends. Trust.

I've had dreams about my drs all week so that's good but idk what im doing wrong exactly to not feel confident about my ability. im always thinking i could've done more, affirmed more ect. do u meditate? and if so, how?? I'd really like to try that maybe!! im really trying to get back on my feet in this reality but it's so hard bc why's everything awful smh 🥲 maybe it's because I don't trust myself enough but i need a random spiritual baddie to sat me down and tell me 'you'll get out. we're infinite. it's fine you have all the time you need' i need to rewire my brain asap because it still operates on logic 🙁 why can't i believe in the multiverse energy and the soul like everybody else 🫩 pisses me off. i hope u had a better time on your trip than me racking my brain about this ugh. hope u had all kinds of dr memories, symptoms and shifts 🤞

AGH HI POOKS. I've missed you. I miss tumblr. I'm still on my trip. I go home on Saturday. FINALLY. I miss my bed. I miss my dad. I miss my brother's and sister. I miss my brothers cool friends. I miss the hot guy I went to school with. I miss my cat. And my dog. I miss the damn grass in my back yard. Shit bro. Saturday cannot come quicker. This trip was lowkey hell. Hated every second of it. The friend I was with is unbearable to live with. With love. Don't live with your best friend. Yikes!

I finished the teaching course I was doing and can finally get a remote job and earn Hella money (insert meme fr) so yay!

I can also get back to shifting. I've been working on it while being on my trip but lowkey, I think being in an unfamiliar place has thrown my whole mentality through a loop. I get super nervous when I'm sleeping in a house that isn't MINE and in a bed that isn't MINE. I can't do it, I love my bed and my room and I feel so safe there. So yeah. Shifting went to shit this month but im so confident ill get it when I get home. I just can't do it while im here. Logically I know I can, I just have to decide, but ive already decided. If I already feel uneasy in this room ive been in for 4 weeks, im going to SHIT myself if I wake up in my dr room.

Now. Meditating. Affirming. Bluh bluh bluh. Those are tools, not necessities. You don't NEED them and, hell, they don't help some people. Maybe they work for you, maybe they dont. It literally just depends on each person, and depends on what you tell yourseld. If you believe you'll shift when you blink, youll shift when you blink. If you believe you have to dance around a fire and chant the national anthem, youll shift when you do that. Its all about what you really feel and believe.

It doesn't hurt to try, the worst thing that could happen is you not really feeling it.

I used to meditate. It helped me calm down because I get super jumpy and nervous when attempting. My nerve system thinks I'm being held at gunpoint for some unknown reason. Awesome stuff. So yeah, personally a 10/10.

I hope you're doing well, and i really really hope you've shifted. I had a look at the tier list a while ago but this trip is killing me so I haven't really touched my phone much. I was supposed to leave on Sunday but I literally messaged my dad and pulled a middleschool move. "Tell me you said you can only fetch me Saturday. Shhh Saturday. Not Sunday."

one thing that def has pulled me back from reaching full void or just shifting in general is random ahh muscle spasms. My eyes keep fluttering and opening while trying to shift. It's rlly annoying because i'm getting symptoms that I can shift, like numbness and semi-floating feelings.

But it's rlly hard to focus on my breathing and affirmations when my eyes are involuntarily moving

any tips??

Oh duuuude, honestly it depends on the person but if u want to relax ur body and mind then definitely meditate!! You definitely don't have to and you can shift in whatever state ur in, regardless of if ur in the void, fully conscious here, twitchy and annoyed, sleeping, etc*