zanka x raider!reader... or like theyre like dramatic toxic exes....
this is totally anoyomous btw....... idk who wrote this...
â or theyâre like both đłđł ?! and like my first anon request from someone completely anonymous and i have no idea is like..
raider!reader x zanka, gn!reader but no pronouns are used when being addressed, no usage of y/n, toxic relationship, forbidden love if you squint, everyone knows theyâre exes, mc still #needsthat, lingering dependency
cthoniâs portal opened up, dropping you off in a new, secluded, location. before she bid you farewell her eyes lingered on you as though she was internally conflicted about something that would concern you.
you hadnât known her long, but being strategically out up against your ex boyfriend worried her all for the wrong reasons. she just simply hoped you wouldnât do anything rash like switch sides.
they were already occupied enough trying to get new recruits, so losing one would be frustrating.
âlong time no see.â you greeted, waving at the only other person near you with cthoni long gone. slowly, you put your activated jinki behind you, out of the way for the time being.
âyou gotta be fuckinâ kidding me.â zanka audibly groaned, rolling his eyes as his hands slumped to his side.
âstill runninâ around with those lames?â you questioned, stepping further into his area of sight.
âthat ainât any of your concern. im sure you already know the answer anyway.â he scowled, watching your every move intently.
âyouâre right.â you smiled, shamelessly proving him right. âyouâre always welcome to be by my side.â
âi didnt come here to get hit on.â he scoffed, activating his jinki and pointing it towards you.
âah-ah.â you shook your head, waving a finger. he stopped, eye twitching involuntarily.
âyâknow they canât appreciate you like i do, zanka. nobody can appreciate you like me.â you held a hand to your chest, gesturing to yourself as emphasis.
âstop it. thatâs not gonna do anythinâ for either of us.â zanka seethed, his eyebrows cinched tightly together. youâd hate to be the cause of his pretty face getting stuck in such an unfitting expression.
âyâthink im trying to do somethinâ sketchy? im jusâ telling you the truth.â your voice cracked, vision getting increasingly blurrier. living in a world where zanka wasnât yours was a world you didnât want to live in.
âwe donât gotta fight, zanka.â you added, taking a step closer to him. in return he took a step back, refusing to allow you to get close.
âget my name outta your mouth. just hearinâ you say it makes me sick.â he sneered, narrowing his eyes at you. he lifted his lovely assistaff from the ground, positioning it in front of him defensively.
he could hate, despise, even loathe you all he wanted. you didnât care as long as he only felt it for you.
zankaâs stomach churned uncomfortably. just why did you have to look at him with that expression?
âyou donât mean that.â you jutted your bottom lip out, tilting your head to the side as you stared back at him. you couldnât help but frown at his vulgar words, as accustomed to them as you were, it always hurt.
he didnât mean it. he really, really didnât.
every time he heard his name slip pass your lips his knees go weak. he could feel his loyalty to the cleanersâ his loyalty to his soulâ slip away inch by inch.
he hated how you made him feel, he hated how he allowed himself to grow so vulnerable with you.. he hated how he couldnât persuade himself into believing your relationship was a mistake.
but no matter how much he tried to hate you, he was always going to come back to you whispering sweet nothings into his ear. whether it was within the knowledge of the cleaners or not.
he knew you knew that too.
âi need you zanka. and i know you need me too.â you reached your hand out for him, jinki deactivated and leaving you vulnerable. it almost seemed like you were reading his mind.
he stared at your hand with false disgust, his nose scrunching at the thought of even taking it.
what would the other cleaners think? what would enjin think? seeing him with you far too late into the night, as guilty as could be.
but maybeâ just maybeâ itâd all be worth it.
hold him in your arms, tell him how well heâs doing for simply breathing, stare at him with those eyes full of unwavering love, pepper him in soft kisses all over his body, and worship him like he was some greater power belonging on the ground.
zanka glanced at your hand again, lips pressed into a thin line. you watched as the cogs turned in his head, weighing out the pros and cons like he always did before making a decision.
no one was watching, and no one would have to know.
writing for characters you lowk used to be emotionally and mentally is so conflicting