Ad Maiora

ed ero pazzo.

Avevo perso un paese

ma mi ero guadagnato un sogno.

E se avevo quel sogno

il resto non contava.

Né lavorare né pregare

né studiare all’alba

assieme ai cani romantici.

E il sogno viveva nel vuoto del mio spirito.

Una stanza di legno,

nella penombra,

in uno dei polmoni del tropico.

E a volte guardavo dentro me stesso

e visitavo il sogno: statua resa eterna

da pensieri liquidi,

un verme bianco che si contorceva

nell’amore.

Un amore sfrenato.

Un sogno dentro un altro sogno.

E l’incubo mi diceva: crescerai.

Ti lascerai alle spalle le immagini del dolore e del labirinto

e dimenticherai.

Ma a quel tempo crescere sarebbe stato un delitto.

Sono qui, dissi, con i cani romantici

e qui resterò.

Most damaged relationships are impossible to fix. If you have endured pain and disappointment for a consistent, steady period of time, you are unlikely to muster any sort of healing or positive change by being around/with that person.

And we need to start normalizing it.

It doesn’t matter what they may have done for you. It doesn’t matter if they believe they’ve given you everything.

She is not “my” girl, she belongs to herself. And I am grateful, for with all of her freedom, she still comes back to me, moment to moment, day to day and night to night. How much more grateful can I be? Love is not a possession, love is freedom. Collectively, our love is an illusion – our collective love is a form of enslavement, a form of enslavement that convinces us to enslave one another. This is a major reason so many problems arise because we have no control over ourselves internally, so we try controlling one another because we have no control over our internal emotions. That’s powerful, to know that though you don’t own a person they choose to lend their life to you as you do them. It’s a sweetness to that – that’s insurmountable.

So here’s some. Add your own if you’d like!

* listens to you talk when you have issues and supports you through them

* stops doing things you tell them make you uncomfortable

* compromises when necessary

* never puts you down deliberately, especially not publically

* supports your ambitions

* uses a calm rational tone during arguments

* is able to apologise when they’re in the wrong

your partner is allowed to have friends, interests, and activities that you don’t share!

your partner is allowed to take time to respond to your text!

your partner is allowed to put themselves first sometimes!

your partner is allowed to have a different (non-harmful) opinion than you!

your partner is allowed to not feel like kissing or hugging sometimes!

your partner is allowed to tell you they’re not in a place to listen to you vent at the moment!

your partner is allowed to choose not to share certain (again, non-harmful) things about themselves with you!