searching for honeyland

tell me how it feels to be the tallest man in the room. tell me how it feels to lay out a pretty pair of pale eggshells for each foot, for every step i take. to think you know so much. tell me how it feels to be the most interesting man you've met, tell me how to seep, slimy through the cracks, and i'll tell you how to stare down the barrel of a gun. i'll tell you how to watch your step. i'll tell you how to keep all at arm's length, how to flinch at innocent footfall. how to balance on the arches of my feet and how to contort myself so that i will fit so perfectly into your shadow. i'll tell you how to be a yellowed diamond, how to be an angry wind, tangled pines. how to soak in the scent of someone else's soul. i'll tell you how to punch the walls. how not to breathe in too deep, how to feel that, that dark chest-ache, heart-ache, stop yourself from smelling the roses, winter is on its way. stop yourself from enjoying the view, another's on its way. i'll tell you how to pop your broken bone back into place, how grin and bear it, how to bite your tongue, how to make a flower out of a snake. how to see the wilting petals, pay no mind to the serpent lying under it. but first, please, enlighten me.

saturn's rings squeeze me, tight on my skin. jupiter & june shock me back to life. mossy, green, fertile flats for my future. nine straight swords, my most lucky unlucky number. strike a match on my bones, sweat-soaked bondage, straps and skin and sin.