DINNER REPORT

Dinner: Undercooked Spam and Rice

Relevant Items:

Spam

Minute Rice

Method:

Preheat Pan, forget Oil

Open can of Spam and empty onto plate

Stare at the slab in disgust, cut into Eight (8) Slices

Add Four (4) Slices to Pan (fit more if possible, skip step 8 if all slices fit on pan), let sit for arbitrary amount of time

Realize the mistake of forgetting Oil attempting to flip

Scrape the slices off the Pan and flip, deciding there is no going back now

Move undercooked slices to Plate

Add rest of slices to Pan

Repeat Steps 6-7

Heat Minute Rice for One (1) Minute and Thirty (30) Seconds

Move to Plate

Consume

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Additional Notes: Don’t forget the oil. Also its HEB branded Spam but it tastes better to me. Maybe next time I’ll get a better sear

Dinner: One (1) Jalapeno Cheese Sausage with Fries

Relevant Items:

One (1) Jalapeno Cheese Sausage

Frozen Fries

Method:

Poke holes in Sausage with Fork until it looks like Lizzie Borden’s Parents

Put Sausage and Frozen Fries in Airfryer, heat at 400 (Four Hundred) F (205 (Two Hundred and Five) C) for Five (5) Minutes

Flip Sausage, heat for another Five (5) Minutes

Move to Plate

Consume

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Additional Notes: no mor sosig :(

Dinner: Salad with Homemade Vinaigrette

Relevant Items:

Romaine Lettuce

Grape Tomatoes

Homemade Vinaigrette

Method:

Put Romaine Lettuce into Bowl to preference

Put Grape Tomatoes in Bowl to Preference

Add Homemade Vinaigrette to Bowl to preference

Consume

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Additional Notes: Vinaigrette has a bit too much bite. Will need to adjust the ratios

Dinner: Crappy Patty Melt with Japaleno Chips

Relevant Items:

Two (2) really shitty patties

Two (2) slices of Kraft Cheese

Two (2) slices of Bread

Some amount of Lemon Pepper seasoning

Some amount of Jalapeno Chips

Method:

Preheat Pan with a bit of Water

Put Bread in Toaster and toast to preference

When Water is Steaming, add Two (2) Patties and wait until juices come out

Attempt to flip, partially succeed

Wait some amount of time, flip again because the first side doesn’t feel cooked enough now

Wait some amount of time, flip again because the second side doesn’t feel cooked enough now

Dread the bland flavour

Remember the Lemon Pepper, add to preference

Turn off Stove, move Bread to Plate

Move first Patty to Bread, add Cheese

Move second Patty on top of Cheese’d first Patty, add Cheese

Top with other Bread

Add Japaleno chips to preference

Consume

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Additional Notes: Went better this time, but not having the patties disintegrate in the pan is a low bar to clear. Still bland, somehow

Dinner: Two (2) Jalapeno Cheese Sausages with Fries

Relevant Items:

Jalapeno Cheese Sausages

Frozen Fries

Method:

Poke holes in Two (2) Sausages with Fork

Put Sausages and Frozen Fries in Airfryer Heat @ 400F (~204C) for Five (5) Minutes

Flip Sausages and heat for another Five (5) Minutes

Move to Plate

Consume

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Additional Notes: One sausage remains :(

Dinner: Peach Pulled Pork with Rolls

Relevant Items:

Peach Pulled Pork

Peach Barbecue Sauce

Rolls

Method:

Put Rolls in Toaster and toast to preference

Move Pulled Pork to Bowl, add some Barbecue Sauce

Microwave for about Thirty (30) Seconds

Stir Pulled Pork and add more Barbecue Sauce to preference

Microwave for One (1) Minute

Move Rolls to Plate

Consume

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Additional Notes: I also had peach ice cream and it was yummy

Dinner: Nothing

Relevant Items:

Sadness

Method:

Be really sad for no reason

Sleep until 1 AM

Do something else

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Additional Notes: Oof ow my consistency

Dinner: Two (2) Jalapeno Cheese Sausages with Leftover Mashed Potatoes

Relevant Items:

Jalapeno Cheese Sausages

Leftover Mashed Potatoes

Method:

Poke holes in Two (2) Sausages with Fork

Heat up Sausages in Airfryer @ 400F (~205C) for Five (5) Minutes

Flip Sausages and heat for another Five (5) minutes

Heat Mashed Potatoes in Microwave for One (1) Minute and Thirty (30) Seconds

Move everything onto Plate

Consume

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Additional Notes: Man I forgot how much I like Mashed Potatoes

Dinner: Stir-fried Vegetables with Lemon-Pepper Seasoning

Relevant Items:

Frozen Vegetables

Stir-fry Sauce

Lemon Pepper Seasoning

Method:

Oil and preheat Pan

Add Frozen Vegetables and stir occasionally until not visibly frosted

Add Lemon Pepper Seasoning to preference

Stir for an arbitrary amount of time

Add Stir-fry Sauce to preference

Move to plate

Consume

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Additional Notes: My cat coughed up a hairball on my sock right before I left for work

Dinner: Steak and Parmesan Mashed Potatoes

Relevant Items:

Steak

Parmesan Mashed Potatoes

Method:

Go to Firebirds for an early Father’s Day dinner with your parents

Order a 16 oz Ribeye cooked Medium Rare with a side of Parmesan Mashed Potatoes

Wait for it to arrive

Consume

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Additional Notes: I forgot to take a picture. The steak was a bit charred outside but cooked well otherwise

Dinner: Five (5) Eggrolls

Relevant Items:

Eggrolls

Method:

Retrieve Eggrolls from Fridge

Heat until crispy

Move to plate

Consume

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Additional Notes: Finally found the ideal heating time for these in my toaster

Dinner: Waffle House Waffle and City Ham

Relevant Items:

Waffle House Waffle

Waffle House City Ham

Method:

Go to Waffle House

Order Waffle and Ham to-go

Consider buying another mug

Refrain due to lack of space, lament

Retrieve order

Return home

Consume

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Additional Notes: Maybe I should’ve gotten that mug…

Dinner: Texas Chili Company Beef Chili with Kidney Beans, Chopped Red Onion, and Pepperjack Cheese

Relevant Items:

One (1) box of Texas Company Chili Beef Chili (Mandatory)

One (1) can of Beans

Some amount of Chopped Red Onion

Some amount of Pepperjack Cheese

Method:

Retrieve week old Bowl of Chopped Red Onions from Fridge, remove excess till amount is to preference

Open and drain can of Beans, empty into Bowl of Onions and mix

Open box of Chili, move contents to Bowl and realize there is too much food for the bowl to feasibly fit

Become stubborn and try to shove as much Chili into the bowl as possible

Have it pile, cover pile with wet paper towel

Microwave for Two (2) Minutes

Mix and attempt to reduce pile size

Partially succeed, Microwave for another Minute

Remove Bowl from Microwave, add Pepperjack Cheese, and mix until combined

Consume

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Additional Notes: Man one onion really does take a while to use. I’m kinda onioned out a little bit from all this onion consumption. At least this week’s grocery bill is going to be a buck cheaper

Dinner: Leftover Chick-fil-a Nuggets, Fries, and One (1) Medium Peach Milkshake

Relevant Items:

Your partner’s leftover Chick-fil-a meal

Your Peach Milkshake

Method:

Retrieve your partner’s order after work

Give order, partake in your Peach Milkshake

Feed cats

Retrieve leftovers

Consume

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Additional Notes: The Chick-fil-a employees are saying “My Pleasure” less. The first time one didn’t say the iconic phrase I was very confused

Dinner: Six (6) Spicy Chicken Tenders with Fries

Relevant Items:

Frozen Spicy Chicken Tenders

Frozen French Fries

Method:

Put Tenders and Fries in Airfryer to preference

Heat up half the time according to package instructions for both of them kinda in the middle, at least until the chicken is cooked

Flip tenders and heat for rest of time

Move to plate

Consume

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Additional Notes: I watched my cat try and bury her food by digging in her cardboard box. This creature continues to astound me

Dinner: Leftover McNuggets and Fries

Relevant Items:

Remains of 20 piece order of McNuggets

Remains of Basket of Fries

Method:

Order McNuggets and Basket of Fries on the app

Drive over and get order

Drive back and give to partner

Feed cats wet food while partner eats

Retrieve leftover food

Consume

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Additional Notes: The quiet one meowed for once and we sat there wondering why before realizing they haven’t had their nightly offering yet

Dinner: One (1) Bowl of Cereal

Relevant Items:

Cereal

Lactose-free (Optional) Milk

Method:

Pour Cereal of preference to preference

Pour Milk to preference

Stir to let all the Cereal touch the Milk

Consume

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Additional Notes: I didn’t consider that lactose-free milk existed until last week. I’ve just kinda been rawdogging for over 20 years