I have left my faith. Or it has left me. Thus, my prospects seemed only a long, dark corridor without an end. I have done things in my life for reasons that seemed right and even moral in their violent immorality. And now I stand without that God upon whom I have always depended. But please do not fear for me. I have no fear myself. The old monsters are gone. The old curses have echoed to silence. And if my immortal soul is lost to me, something yet remains. I remain. So I sign off now with hope, and, as ever, with love… Vanessa.

Post Script. I don’t know if you’ve ready access to news, but we learned today that Tennyson has died. The bells are still tolling. All the flags are at half-mast, and there are wreathes and funeral bands everywhere. London has gone into mourning. It’s a city of tears.

“For me, acting is like a therapy. I can express myself fully when I am acting and have blood in my veins. Even when I’m not working, I’m always living in my own world, imagining characters.”

During one of his ‘hallucinations’ in ‘Deep Down’ he sees her as she was that night. In the same gown she’s wearing upon her return in ‘Slouching Toward Bethlehem’. 

How did he know that? 

Personally, I think that really might have been Cordy appearing to him in his dreams. Trying to keep him sane while he was under the water.

Like when she reaches out to stroke his face, it calms him. He forgets just for a moment what really happened that night. Where he is. 

I think it really might have been her.

After all the title of the episode is ‘Deep Down’. A phrase Cordelia herself used the night of her ascension.

Plus it really would make her fate all the more tragic. That the Powers would only allow her to confess her true feelings to Angel this one time because they knew it would bring him some measure of comfort, some solace, and perhaps a little closure when he finally realized she was beyond his reach. (Not just in ‘Ground State’ but ‘You’re Welcome’ too. Although it could be said that Cordelia and Angel’s actions in ‘You’re Welcome’ spoke more about their love for one another than words ever could. But I digress.)

AND IT WOULD MAKE THIS THEIR FIRST LEGITIMATE KISS:

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*cough* Anyway….

I mean sure, the dream ends rather…disturbingly…but until it does… it was a really tender moment. Beautiful, even.