You want to [Smooch] the [Dork]

there are so many beautiful women to leash or to be leashed by but unfortunately most of them are on the other side of the ocean. it's not fair, it's not fair at all.

I once went to a girl's house with the intent of playing games but was so exhausted I instead fell asleep in her lap for two hours while she pet my head

headpat seeking behaviour

some days i feel overwhelming grief for the fact that i never got to be a teenaged girl

i should have been an awkward tomboy slowly figuring out she's a lesbain and crushing on my best friend but instead i was crushed into nothing by feelings i couldn't even point to

"I'm being silenced by big academia" yeah well i'm being silenced by big girlfriend. she keeps shoving my face in her tits while i'm infodumping.

So what if I get a little wet when you make fun of me

Dont be very woried about me since i deserve all of this

guy who is trying really hard not to be weird about you but failing miserably