脱离现实

camaraderie in the time of corona

during this quarantine season, my friends and i kept in constant contact in two ways: Jackbox Party and Chloe Ting.

it started out with online Cards Against Humanity first one Saturday night, with Ken, Austin, Tal and Irfan, and sometimes Chok and/or Danny. and then it became every Saturday night, regardless of our respective timezones. then, because Austin had Jackbox Party, we spent the next…

what it’s like to live with anxiety and hypochondria under a pandemic lockdown

dear readers, it’s been a while. sorry for being away for months; i lost my writing voice sometime ago and i’m trying to find it again.

it’s been exactly 30 days since Malaysia imposed a nationwide MCO in light of the COVID-19 pandemic, which means that i have been stuck in my KL condo for a month now, venturing out only for grocery runs once every fortnight.

i wish i could say that a…

and a partridge in a pear tree

almost two months into working life sees me gradually starting to develop a routine. which is good! i love routines. my god have i aged.

and then sometimes i get days like today where everything is sort of, wack. not necessarily Vine-wack if you know what i mean, but more of a bizarre-wack.

this morning i drove to KL High Court at 10AM. i was in the public carpark and as i neared the end of…

jiyū • zì yóu

just popping by to announce that ya girl has gotten herself formally employed! yes, yes, thank you for the applause

sometime last month i finally got my CLP results and i passed. the moment of cognisance was a peculiar one – i was watching Terrace House with Oli through discord when Janice suddenly texted me a “CONGRATS!!!!!!” and my anxiety spiked instantly. the first thought that came to…

highway drive to famima

midnight fell, and Oli wanted to go for a night drive. so where else better to go than to familymart a mere 4 minutes away? 

we went to familymart almost everyday when Oli was here, and even during the previous times he was in KL, until it has essentially become a staple. when there was nowhere else in mind to go, there was always a handy familymart nearby. unagi onigiri, sakura cheesecake,…

week in melb (in disposables)

two months ago, i went to Melbourne for a week to travel and visit my friends. Taliza bought a disposable camera to document the trip.

Mornington was a little more than an hour drive from Melbourne city. it was the morning right after i landed, and halfway through the drive in Austin’s car, we stopped at a McDonald’s (alternatively, Maccas) for breakfast. Cape Schank

Cape Schank and…

what even is this transition

*blows dust off blog* it has been a million years, my friends.

many things have happened, but also not really. mostly i’ve just been spending the past months studying for the CLP and it just ended yesterday. the end of exams has been such a recurring event in my life that you’d think i’d get used to it by now but this particular exam has caused so much mental anguish that me and janice agreed…

the driving playlist: a post about going places

somehow, amidst my responsibilities of going to work and attending CLP classes, i have sought refuge and comfort in the act of driving. whether it’s a 5-minute drive to The Sphere to get groceries, or a 40-minute drive stuck in traffic from JHJ to home, driving has been the only time when i am able to be left alone with my thoughts, but not alone enough to be completely idle (because i still have…

an old visitor a-knocking

i had a panic attack in public yesterday, the first time in a very, very long time. it arose the same way they usually do: a quick flurry of negative thoughts, one chasing after the other, bludgeoning their way through my usually-sturdy mental fortress, and then the very, very unpleasant (vague but consistent) BGM thudding in my peripheral vision, making me feel like nothing will feel happy or…

sunflower still grows at night

this is just a post for the sake of writing in february.

it’s been a month of drafting agreements, meeting family and friends for the new year, eating less rice, and driving while listening to rex orange county on hours on end.

things could be better, but it could also be worse.

6:56pm in real time

freshly showered with a starving stomach, i’m sat on the couch in the living room of saville, having just swam for an hour and am now waiting for the ginger chicken in my steamer to be cooked for dinner, as foster the people plays from my JBL go. the song is a 2014 relic, yet i feel as present as ever. and adulting lately has kinda felt like that for me – present.

i just got my own car, which…

this year was the one year where it felt like a combination of several years. half of it was spent in manchester and the other half in KL, and already i feel like the person that i was during these two periods was two completely different people.

i’ve already talked about manchester so much on here, but 2018 in uni, even more so than the second half of last year, was one of the best periods of…

do you ever just one-up your own sadness? think to yourself, i have never felt this sad before, and then a week later you think the same thing, and then the week after, and then after.

i was upset when i got here, so i made myself go out everyday, texted friends to hang out with almost every hour. i told myself that it’s fine now, i still have many friends here. then i felt too restless, so i…

what’s so happy about a heartbreak party

lost spaces Talitha

in my pursuit of KL’s artsy fartsy art scene, i said “yes” in a heartbeat when taliza invited me to join her friends to catch lost spaces and talitha’s gigs at urbanscapes house. 

i’ve mentioned this before to multiple friends that since coming back to KL and being given a taster session on what is presumed to be KL’s creative art scene (zhongshan building, cooler…