things never saidĀ ||Ā dindjarin x reader
Summary: Din Djarin receives a bounty puck with your name on it. He hadn't seen you in a few years, not since you turned your back on the way of the Mandalore unexplainably. The two of you used to be close, having a prior sexual relationship, but even though neither of you ever admitted your feelings for each other, he knew he had to get to you before any other member of the Guild could.
Warnings: angst, fluff, implied prior sexual relations, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of abortion, soft din djarin, comforting din djarin.
WC: 1.8k
A/n: no Grogu, sorry, no use of y/n, he goes by Din in this.
[Masterlist]Ā Ā Read on ao3
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Din Djarinās POV -
When Greef Karga slid the bounty puck across the table to Din his heart dropped at the blue hologram that took the form of your face. The flickering light captured your cold expression staring straight back at him.Ā
Fuck.Ā
The last time heād seen you was the night you left for Jakku. The night you told him you could no longer walk the way of the Mandalore, the first time he saw your face. The image of you from his memories was in pain, sobbing to him to come with you. Now, the straight faced, dark eyed appearance staring back at him was one he could barely recognize.Ā
Din sat across the table, utterly still while he stared down at the puck. Snapping back to his surroundings, he then silently stood and placed it into his pocket.Ā
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As he headed out of the bar and walked back to the Razor Crest his head swarmed. It had been two years, how much had to have happened in that time for you to get wrapped up with the wrong people. He thought back to how devoted you were to the Creed, but then how upset you were the last month you two spent together, before completely turning your back on it. He never truly understood why, but always felt like there was something you werenāt telling him.
You two were close back then, you had laughed together, you had fought together, there was always a bond. And then of course, there were also the times you two had found yourselves with your bodies entangled, only when the pressure and stress got to be too much, it was a coping mechanism at best. He knew thatās all it was for you and he didnāt want to ruin a good thing, but at the time he sometimes thought about what it would be like to be more. On occasion he even wondered if it was reciprocated, but was never sure. So he left everything unspoken and then you were gone and it was too late.Ā
He remembered the night he walked into your room and saw you, no helmet, no armor, dressed in civilian clothes as you rummaged around, stuffing your belongings in a bag. Din had turned himself to face away after just a glimpse, then heard sniffling.
āWhat is it? Whatās wrong?ā He had spoken to the doorway.Ā
But he felt a hand enter his own from behind and you pulled him back around to meet your eyes, puffy from crying. Your cheeks burned red as you held his hand pressed against your heart.Ā
Dinās eyes widened beneath his visor, half from concern, half in awe as his gaze scattered across your face. Heād never seen you before, let alone this upset.
You placed your hand where his neck met his shoulder, āThis isnāt the way.ā
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Finally settling into the pilotās seat, Din felt a pit in his stomach as he fired up the Crest. Jakku. He knew you werenāt going to be exactly pleased to see him, you probably still felt some resentment toward him for not going with you. But in the split second decision when the bounty puck sat in front of him, his only thought was I canāt let someone else try to hurt her.Ā
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Your POV -
You had been running the past few weeks, never staying in one place too long. At the moment you had stationed your cruiser amongst the desert mountains on Jakku, a little ways from a small community. Most of your time staying in your ship, out of the heat and away from eyes.Ā
You knew there was a bounty on your name. The wealthy smugglers donāt take kindly to thieves that also happened to have killed a few of their guys. The repercussions were a risk, you were aware, but when you heard through the grapevine your chain code was on the list, you knew you had to disappear.Ā
The sun had just set on the horizon and the darkness cooled the air. You decided to take advantage of the temperature and opened the steel door. You sat in the entryway, on the floor of the hull with a cup of tea in hand. Looking out into the open night, the stars twinkled above in the darkness and a chilled breeze blew through the thin fabric of your clothes.
The isolation was hard but times like these gave you a level of peace. However, it was shortly lived when you heard a rustle not too far into the abyss of the night.Ā
You jumped at the sound and your heart rate spiked, but slowly you rose to your feet taking quiet steps backward. Your ears strained listening for any more sound of movement as you carefully inched toward your blaster a few feet away. Eyes still on the pitch black.
What you saw next made your heart drop to your stomach. Emerging from the darkness into the light coming from the ship, stepped a heavily armored man- no, a Mandalorian. You threw your arm back and your fingers found the handle of your blaster. You whipped it to face him and pulled the trigger hitting him square in the chest plate. He raised his forearm and deflected your next shot.
You hit him again and again, each powerless against the smooth beskar draping his body. Why isnāt he shooting? You held your fire, keeping your aim while hovering the trigger.
āWhat do you want?ā Your eyes narrowed as you tried to hide the fear in your voice.Ā
He raised his palms toward you, āItās me, Itās Din.ā
āDin?āĀ
He stepped onto the ramp leading into the ship and subconsciously you dropped your blaster to your side. In your mind, memories flashed of the man you once knew, the man you once cared about, and now he was standing right in front of you.Ā
āIām not going to hurt you,āĀ
āThen why are you here?āĀ
This all felt wrong, seeing him after all these years, you didnāt recognize him with his new armor, but hearing the voice, yes, this was the person you had shared so much of your life with. It was also the person who let you leave alone after pleading with him to come with you.
āBecause someone wants to hurt you, and I canāt let that happen.ā
Who does he think he is showing up after all this time saying shit like that.
He stepped forward again, leaving only a few inches between you two. You still had your blaster tight in your grip as he looked down at you.Ā
āSo you just thought youād play knight in shining armor for a change?Ā Real heroic.āĀ
Your sharp sarcasm felt cold as the past lingering between you.Ā
āAnd what were you thinking? Getting involved with smugglers?āĀ
His words cut, judgment? Really? He had no idea what you had been through.Ā
āI had a debt to pay, you wouldāve done the same.āĀ
He placed his gloved hands on each of your arms, he sighed like he was disappointed in you.
āYou need to come back to the congregation, we can protect you there.āĀ
āIām not going back, Iām not one of you anymore. And what, like Iām supposed to just trust you still?ā You squirmed in his grasp.
āYes. Just because you left, doesnāt mean I stopped caring about you, Maker, I canāt just leave you here-ā
āAnd why not?ā Your eyes shot daggers back at him, keeping your guard up, āyou had no problem losing me once, just do it again.ā
Your warm tears started to blur your vision, you werenāt sure if they were from sadness or anger, but you swallowed trying to keep them from rolling down your cheek.
He spoke your name calmly before using an explanatory tone, āyou were the one that ran, you were the one that left me behind, and without even telling me why-ā
āDin, I was pregnant.ā
You pushed him back and crossed your arms over your chest. He stood there frozen staring back at you, your eyes drifted to the ground. You felt your face grow wet as your tears ran down your nose and fell to the steel floor of the hull.
āWhat?ā Was all he could say.
You pivoted and turned your back to him, āDonāt worry, youāre not a father, I wasnāt going to subject some helpless child to devoting its life to violence. And when you didnāt want to come, I couldnāt do it alone. Too bad terminations cost a pretty penny, huh?āĀ
He could hear how your voice was shaking as you spoke.Ā
āWhy didnāt you say anything?ā
āYour life wasnāt mine to alter, youāre devoted to the way of the Mandalore, a fucking kid wouldnāt change that, and I just- I couldnāt bring a child into that life, not while Mandalorians were still to hide in the shadows.ā
His hand outstretched to you and you felt his finger tips drag down the skin of your arm. A moment of silence hung in the air, the guilt you had held onto the past years made itself known in your chest.Ā
āYou donāt have to say anything, just leave, forget you were even here,āĀ
Din pulled his hand back and said nothing, you shut your eyes preparing to hear footsteps trailing away from you, but they never came so you slowly turned back to face him.Ā
In one hand hanging to the slide, he held his helmet, and for the first time you looked into the eyes of the man that you used to love, the one that left you broken. You expected him to be angry with you but looking into his face, there were no signs of animosity, instead his gaze was warm.Ā
āWhat are you doing?ā
His knuckles loosened his grasp and he let the metal drop to the floor with a clang. He brought his now open hands up to cup your face, gently keeping you from looking away.
āStop- please, Iām sorry, fuck, Iām so sorry.ā His soft voice made you wonder if it was possible for your heart to break twice.
āDin-ā
āListen to me, itās you, it will always be you, I should have been there and I will kick myself for the rest of eternity for having not. I know I canāt go back, but let me be here for you, right now, please.ā
He held your head in his hands and brushed the pad of his thumb across your cheek to wipe your tear stained face. His touch, the one you never thought youād ever get to feel again, now sent a wave of comfort through you, that same peaceful feeling from moments earlier returned.Ā
His eyes dropped to your lips and as he leaned in, his nose brushed against yours. Your mind went quiet and not thinking you brought your mouth to his. He kissed you tenderly and your eyes shut trying to savor the feeling. With everything you two had done, you had never kissed, and having it now, you melted into his taste.Ā
After a few seconds, when you finally pulled away, you hadnāt expected the words that left your mouth.Ā
āI love you, Din Dijarin. I always have.ā
āI love you too, meshāla.ā
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