āAlways? I know for a while back there I wasnāt the easiest person to deal with.ā Itās something heās well aware of, the way his life fell apart when Jill died - the refusal to grieve or accept it, knowing she was out there (he proved them right), throwing himself into working and working and working. Three years with no time for his sister, no time for his friends, just constant battles, the constant searching. The plane to Africa heād lost his temper, he didnāt wantĀ another partner. Knowing heād only let them down and they werenāt Jill.
Heās not ignorant enough to believe he didnāt let that seep through onto Sheva despite his efforts - but she fought as good as she gave, believed in him, put up with him - helpedĀ him. Saved his life over and over, saved JillāsĀ life (knows he couldnāt have done it alone). Remembers the feeling of her hand in his as she chased after the jet, seconds away from falling and again, mid-flight, dropping himself to catch her. Iām not losing you too.
Heās thought about it before, how to articulate his gratitude, his apology. Knows he couldnāt ever phrase it the right way and hopes she knows - friends are few and far between, and ones he can trust even fewer.
āIf by spoil myself you mean go to the gym, then yeah.ā Heās well aware of the jokes - moreso of Barryās insistenceĀ (and everyone elseās) that he does something else.
āBesides, you know how it is. Always sending me off to do something.ā
Ā Ā āGood things donāt come easy, Chris. You and I both know that.ā A simper of a smile, along with a playful cock of her brow. Besides, there had been far worse.Ā He had his reasons, regardless of how he had chosen to handle them. Not that it was BLIND ADMIRATION alone or anything. Perhaps, she had just been fortunate enough to see enough that she would continue to see the man as a friend who was WORTH FAR MORE than he would give himself credit for.Ā
Ā Ā One would naively think that you truly would become wiser with age. If only that were so. Not the EXHAUSTION and FEAR that she had seen creep up on so many people, over these years. Not that they could be blamed. And Sheva would never have expected herself to become such a form of support to the man himself, the moment she had decided to become his PARTNER for that missionĀ
Ā Ā To dare look back on the year 2009 itself, for the HOPELESSNESS and FRUSTRATION they have felt. That instead have been drowned out by a mixture of DEDICATION and DESPERATION (Easy really, for one to guess which it was that she herself believed she was following through with). Jill had been saved, Chris was still here-- so were Josh and her. As she had continued looking on ahead, those were the very few things that she would dare think about, if her mind ever drifted back to that time.
Ā Ā ā... Theeereās that.ā She quipped, so long as the man was watching over his own health, that was one less thing to worry about.Ā āNot that I could imagine the Chris Redfield spoiling himself with a shopping spree or anything-- but, tell me, is there anything else that you enjoy?ā It was never too late to bring back things that he had once enjoyed.
Ā Ā āHm, I suppose youāre right... busy as ever, no surprise there.ā