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where do you see yourself in 10 tumblr posts

IF YOU NEED ME I WILL BE PUTTING OFF IMPORTANT TASKS AND LETTING THEM HAUNT ME

one day, i hope to be moved from your downloads folder into somewhere more deliberate

When I was at the natural history museum, the fossil section had stickers on the glass to engage children - things like "Flap your arms like a pterodactyl" or "Measure your hand against the mosasaurus." However the first of these I encountered, which I found alarming and threatening without context, was a sticker reading "Struggle like you are stuck in a tar pit"

believing in reincarnation is not just emotionally fulfilling, it is also very helpful. for example, i can now tell myself “i have probably had cocaine in another life. i have probably had oodles of cocaine by now, actually, so i am good this time around, thank you”

the losing dogs and i are engaging in insider trading

mind palace that was formerly a palace until the ruling family was killed mercilessly for its crimes. and now it's the thinking woman's socialist republic.

I could really do with a reward or incentive

#my fail mayor and his final girl friday (@26-cats-in-a-trenchcoat)