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#my fail mayor and his final girl friday (@26-cats-in-a-trenchcoat)

the "came back wrong" trope except like... they didnt. like this mad scientists wife died, and so he studied necromancy, brought her back, and she came back and it all worked. like she came back exactly the same as she was before with literally no difference. but the scientist guy is like "oh no... what have i done.... shes Different now!!!! she came back Wrong!!!!" and shes just like. chilling. reading a book. cooking dinner. shes just so so normal but in the guys mind hes like "oh shes soooo weird" but shes just normal

NO its a JOKE and YOU DONT GET IT. ITS NOT THAT DEEP

While she was dead he put his memory of her on such a high pedestal that she could never live up to it alive

alternatively‚ she came back perfectly fine but he thinks she came back wrong‚ because the tragic reality is that he never actually knew his wife

im going INSANE thats MY POST.

It's your post but the journey to posting it changed it to such a degree that even its closest intimacies are now foreign to you. Sorry dude.

theres a new villain roaming around new york that has all the powers of a tapir. give me an hour or two im gonna go google what the fuck tapirs do ill let you know if we need to be scared

OK it seems if you are fruits or berries this is really really bad news for you otherwise youre fine

dude so distraught he forgot his age

i really fuck with it when my oomfs start their posts in media res. they'll open it with a phrase like "it's just funny because..." and then i look at their blog to see what's funny and. nothing.

It's like how Beowulf opens with a call to attention.

posting is exactly like beowulf

because maybe……..youre gonna be the one that maybe

and after all…..youre my after all

morning hot coffee and afternoon iced coffee are two separate entities. morning hot coffee is your state sanctioned substance abuse to get low level drugs in your body. afternoon iced coffee is a sweet treat that has no impact on your physical body but will boost morale. you can have 8 thousand iced coffees and it will never negatively effect you

Wait i can learn from my mistakes? Ohhhhh ok i was just using them to torment myself

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

Happy pride month to him