Fork With A Pigeon

needing to take a shower: worst feeling in the world getting into the shower: hardest task in the world being in the shower: 🚿🧼🛁🧴🫧 getting out of the shower: second hardest task in the world being out of the shower: (soft hair) (soft skin) (cozy towel) (clean clothes) why is getting into the shower always so hard. i should remember this feeling (most beautiful feeling in the world) next time i need to take a shower

just got asked "sorry, are you a man or a woman?" over the phone and I just said "ahh that's not important right now" but when I got off the phone I went TEEEE HEEE HEEEEE and skipped around. very masculine behaviour. never beating the nonbinary allegations am I

my thing i haven’t made is so good 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

i dont usually actually associate myself with redstone dust but im not gonna lie. every time i mine redstone in minecraft i do briefly go "woah thats me" . ive lost. im redstone. i have to accept it.

some kids came on the train and saw someone they knew hopping on yhe train at the next station. one of them goes "yo is that gay sam??" and im like ughhh. okay is that what we're doing. and then sam comes over and theyre like GAY SAM WHATS UPP and gay sam is like NOT MUCH IM GOODDD IM FRIED RIGHT NOWW and they were like classic sam. so. thats on me for assuming honestly

sometimes I regret having "USA" in my filtered terms because I just clicked on a filtered post out of curiosity and it was about rehoming a polyamorous peacock. in my endeavour to spare myself from a constant barrage of US politics I am missing out on Peacock Polycule Drama. a sad day indeed

(guy who can draw horses and hands easily but can't draw hugs or kisses to save his life) yeah I just like it when the characters are just standing next to each other. no need to make their adoration too obvious you know. and I turned this one into a centaur,

not to be vague but.

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saying "it's okay. I'm only human" before glancing at a nonexistent audience with a slight smirk and a twinkle in my eye (the twinkle is an asterisk) (when you go to read the footnote attached it just says "in the beautiful garden of his imagination he is also another thing as well")

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I wish humans had monkey tails (most likely tail we'd have ngl) because it would be so cute. There's an alternate world out there where people are dying their tails and buzzing patterns into them and getting tail accessories and tail piercings. God could you imagine

the worst part of the deleted scenes is that i understand why they cut every single one and theres this palpable difference where you can tell its moreso just ryan gosling and james ortiz having fun on set than narratively serving grace and rocky. this however has led to my new demand for a 3 hour movie of ryan gosling and james ortiz having fun on set muppet style.

this guy is what I imagined god looked like when I was 4 years old so yeah he can say it

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