For Hofer

A Story: Just Checking

Below is a comment that was posted to one of the previous stories I wrote. It struck me because I’m always amazed by these little anecdotes. They make me realize that we can never know the true extent of the impact Dave had on the community, and more generally, the impact our officers have on the communities they serve every day. Thank you for sharing, Marilyn. “My daughter remembers him checking…

You know how Facebook allows you to check what happened on this date in previous years? Well, for obvious reasons, I’ve become obsessed with checking it every day. I guess, in a way, I hope to recapture a bit of my interactions with Dave. Every few days there’s something funny or inappropriate he posted to my page, or some cute K-9 video I posted to his. It’s sad, but also somehow a relief to…

A Thought: The Euless Police Department Awards Banquet

Last week, my family and I traveled to Texas to spend time with Dave’s love, friends and colleagues at the Euless PD Awards Banquet. It’s always unexpected to me how much it helps my soul to be around those who loved and respected Dave most. People who have that link to Dave offer a comforting place from which to experience the range of emotions we go through everyday as we somehow try to reach a…

A Thought: The Coming Days

We’re inching our way closer to the looming March 1st end-of-watch anniversary, and everyone is struggling. How could it have been a year already? The weeks ahead of this date lead to constant thoughts that essentially sum up to the worst countdown ever: every day is marked by a “last” something that Dave did or said. Not long from now, on my dad’s birthday, I’ll think of our plans to surprise…

Three years ago today I was visiting our grandma in Switzerland and Dave was at work in NYC. That evening we facetimed to wish each other a Merry Christmas and I randomly took this screenshot. Little did I know that this silly picture would become one of the most meaningful. I miss you baby-brother…beyond anything you can imagine. This world will never be the same for any of the us.

A Thought: 8 Months Gone

Today marks the 8th month since that horrible day. I don’t know about anyone else, but it seems like I’ve been in a time-warp. 8 months?! How is that even possible?! The words fail me today, so I will leave you with some of Dave’s own words. Back when we moved to NYC, and both Dave’s and my English was pretty poor (I was 14, Dave was 11), we entered a beautiful school in Brooklyn Heights that…

A Memory: Maine Winters

Dave’s love for Maine extended into every season – I don’t think I ever even heard him complain of “mud season” (most of the wet spring and fall that ends up making that whole area a muddy mess). While summers were filled with fishing, boating and kayaking, winters were reserved for snowmobiling. Our trips always started with a debate about who would ride which snowmobile. My dad ALWAYS picked…

A Thought: On Strength

People tell us that they admire our strength. Honestly, I don’t feel strong. I don’t think my parents feel strong either. Many days we’re not quite sure how we made it through. In the early weeks after Dave was killed, my mom would say that she didn’t know how she was breathing, and we all knew exactly what she meant. Now, things are a little more manageable. I guess. It’s so hard to put into…

Today, you would have been 30, baby bro. Today, I should have been able to call you and sing you an atrocious rendition of “happy birthday.” I should have been able to tell you that you’re officially old, and you should have been able to tell me that I’m older still. I should have been able to tease you about having to look out for those hangovers that would all of the sudden start, probably even…

On Sept. 1st, Jared sat by me and asked me what we should do for my birthday. And just like that, I started crying. Every day since we’ve reached September, I knew these days were coming. My birthday today. Dave’s birthday two days later. Just two days apart, we celebrated them together as kids and as adults (forget the teens…we were annoyed by each other then). And, now I’m supposed to do what…

A Memory: Maine Summers

Dave LOVED Maine. He always enjoyed our family’s house there a lot more than me. He loved that it was away from the madness of NYC. He loved to fish and snowmobile and kayak. He loved to invite his friends for a vacation and have a good time up there together. In fact, he always declared that he’d retire in that house. There was a while, before Dave and I moved out, when our family would spend…

A Memory: Summers in Spain

Our grandparents had a house on the north-Atlantic coast of Spain in a small beach village called Espasante. Starting when we were little there were several summers that spent with them there. These are some of my favorite memories of my childhood. Dave was always a bit afraid of the water and waves since the water could be pretty unruly in that area. He’d mostly stick to the beach and the…

A Memory: The Best Deal of my Life

I was about 14 and Dave was about 11 when, shortly after we moved back to the U.S., we got some pet-mice. A simple purchase of 3 female mice turned into a saga of 3 female mice, one of whom was already pregnant and ended up having 11 babies. We had to do research about what momma would need to feel comfortable having her babies — separating her from the other mice, not touching the nest too early…

A Memory: Bottles & Dinosaurs

One of my earliest memories must be from not too long Dave was born. He wasn’t a newborn, but probably less than a year old. That would make me around 4 years old. We lived in New Jersey at the times. I remember being in the bedroom on the bed, with Dave laying there, and my mom. She had brought a bottle into the bedroom, I guess in anticipation of feeding him. I’m not sure why, but she had to…

A Story: The Legend of Stonewall

“As promised (although somewhat delayed), here is the true story of how Dave and Mike became the stars of Stonewall for a night. Once upon a time, there was a girl who was flirting with me.  This was a rare occurrence, so when she invited me to her birthday party at the Stonewall Inn, I of course said yes.  Well, after Jessie and my boss told me to say yes.  The appointed date arrived and the 3…

A Thought: “Don’t fear us. Don’t hate us.”

The Facebook world is extremely emotionally draining to me right now. I have friends on all sides of the political spectrum and the anger, misunderstandings and generalizations are so glaring, so confusing, so overwhelming, that most of the time I just feel that this whole problem is hopeless. I’m stuck in the middle, able to see the various sides, but the gulf between the parties seems so vast.…