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if you have sung baby shark i have absolutely thought about hurting you

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my cat died

your mcm’s favorite artist is probably picasso

#ew #whatryoudoing

who wants to go to petco w me aka free zoo

#petz

petition to switch the d and n in wednesday

#pls sign

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*heart breaks*

me: *minecraft hurt noise* OOUH

#oouh

doctor: ok let’s get this done so we can get you out of here!

me: why do you want to get rid of me do you hate me

doctor: what

#basedontrueevents #whydoeseveryonehateme

in times of trouble

The frost may be trying but my radish seeds are trying harder!! You grow little cotyledons!!!!

#radish #evilfrost #growgrowgrow!!!

pls get out of my way if you pronounce milk as melk

*pine tree*

me: hehe. spiky.

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nobody:

me getting 4 notes on tumblr: 💞✨😊🎉💝😭

#thankyoutoallmyfans #iloveyouall

fine. yes I like the end piece of the bread. sue me.

Being rude to promote yourself is the lowest form of humor

I texted someone gun instead of gn and he’s probably scared of me now oh no I am not scary pls don’t run away x

#comeback #pls

I’m a firm believer that the duolingo owl could slap shaggy in the face and live

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story time #2

I was babysitting some kiddos today and a child said “hey that’s STINKY” and another replied “ohoho the council agrees!!!” and idk man kids are just kinda weird sometimes

#what

me:

kid I babysit: my favorite animal is the cantaloupe!!!

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