GOD'S FAVORITE PAWN.

‘ why was the burglar so sensitive? ’

@phansitc​ said: Happy Birthday, Akira!

(ok but most of them are quotes from jet, helga & co. & ALSO PUNS!)

'I told you gardening was a sport. PICK THE DAISIES!'

'It means I'm coming.'

'We met over meat! He likes meat, I like meat, we like meat— stop asking questions!'

'IT SMELLS LIKE MY BUTT CRACK!?'

'We don't dress children in my country, they run around naked. Until age eighteen.'

'Clean it up with Orbit!'

'Because if don't tell my donkey to stay it will run off! Find other donkey and mate and make baby donkeys. I cannot take care of baby donkeys!'

'Put your technology away and grab a jellyfish instead.'

'This guy is messing up the idle here.'

'That means; you're a lesbian!'

'You likes what girls have right? Well, that makes you a lesbian!'

'Don't you use that language with me, you lesbian!'

'Mosquitoes! Come in, (your muse name) will fix you!'

'You let me put my alpaca on the hundred meter dash.'

'I find you very... appealing.'

'I think we'd make a great... pear.'

'Actually I've so many jokes about potatoes but I just don't know where to starch.'

'Cerealously!?'

'I mean there's literally not mushroom in here. It's kinda like a party... TURNIP!.'

'What's Michelle Obama's favorite vegetable? Borackolli'

'Wow, they sell full houses here!'

'Axe; like my Axe-husband.'

'And Degree, because my husband didn't have a degree.'

'Secret, because my husband didn't know about my other husband.'

'Sure, because I wasn't sure about either of them.'

'Extra extra dry, just reminds me with both of them.'

'He was ultra soft and so sensitive and stupid...!'

'Oh mentos... he had disgusting feet!'

'He used to love calendars!'

'I thought we were going to a zoo, not a restaurant.'

'Your cows know how to milk goats!?'

'Family size... don't you mean village size?'

'Evian natural spring water? Then what do you drink in the winter?'