Kanto’s Finest Mess

The rocky ocean waves had nothing on Green spinning her in the air.  Leaf was gonna be sick, whether it was from his overdramatic life decisions or the centripetal force she did not know.  What she did know what that she was hungry and Green was handing her a bag of malasadas.  She could get behind that.  

“You might be a little dumb but I could never actually hate you, you know that, especially if you’re feeding me,” she laughed, snatching the bag from his hands.  She let him take her bag as they strolled into the city.  Leaf had to roll her eyes.  She knew he was on a “giant fucking tree” but she couldn’t pass up the chance to make fun of him.  Green got so excited about his research that Leaf worried he’d forget about normal human functions.  It was good to see him relaxed and having fun, and it was impressive to see he’d done so much too.  

“Can I come watch you battle sometime?  I’ll make a giant sign that says ‘I LOVE YOU GREEN’ and a shirt with your face on it and cheer you on,” she joked, sort of.  Leaf hadn’t watched him battle in ages.  It was one of the little things she didn’t know she’d miss about him being far away.  It was always fun to watch him in his element, and who was she to pass up a chance at embarrassing him?   “I’ll go anywhere you want as long as you one, take me to the berry fields, and two, help me catch an Alolan Vulpix sooner or later.  Eva could use a friend her size,”  She was secretly excited to see Green’s notes.  The Alolan sun seemed to reinvigorate her and her limitless curiosity.  

“Let’s go! We can’t just sit on the dock forever,”

“See, here’s the thing, Leafy, you’re not allowed to support me. You can only show up to the Battle Tree with a group of protesters with signs that say ‘Green is a thot and that ass needs to be stopped’ and that’s all I’ll ever allow. If you wanna do that, sure, be my guest. But how dare you support me. That is not allowed.” He clapped her shoulder, obviously more so joking than his sister.

With Leaf’s bag lovingly in tow, he showed her on the way to the hotel — the Hano Grand Resort, to be precise. After all, he wanted nothing but the best for his very best sister ( sorry Daisy ), going so far as to even get her a room right across from his. After all, he had to steal one of her hotel keys to come into her room late at night and T-pose by her bed. What the hell else was he gonna do? Be a normal person? 

          Okay, Riley knows that Green’s strong. Far more talented on the battlefield than he is. And in spirit; the more he looks, the more he notices… a bit of an anomaly in Green’s aura. Auras, when concentrated on, tend to appear brighter than they really are. And to find Green in the caves, Riley had focused on his aura. But he’s no longer doing that, and yet here is Green’s aura, astoundingly bright.

          So, just like Green’s prowess in battle, his aura is powerful.

          … Green must be a very emotional person, Riley thinks. Or is there another reason?

          And suddenly, Green’s astoundingly close to him. A little too close for Riley’s comfort. He feels as if he should have seen that coming. He laughs a little too loudly, clearly caught off guard.

          Alright, now he’s interested. Green’s aura will be interesting to observe and analyze throughout this tour.

          “Protect me? Why… you’re too kind, Green. I can assure you that I am more than capable of defending myself.” He pauses, considering his tone of voice. “Oh! But the sentiment is greatly appreciated. It’s an honor to have someone of Champion status on my side.”

          All of a sudden, the ground rumbles. About thirty yards away, Riley catches sight of a glimmering Onix body, body intertwined with another mass. And he can’t help but smile.

          “Can you see that…? There, just beyond the corridor. It’s the Onix. We can get a little bit closer if you want the personal and intimate experience.”

Champion status hot dog. This guy was really pulling out the big guns with his flattery, now wasn’t he? Comparing Green to his short-lived Champion run, the biggest ego-stroke anyone could possibly give him. Now that he was retained to his position as a Gym Leader, going back to the glory days when he was a little tweenage thot thinking he could make it big by being Champ was just about everything he’d wanted — and for a brief, like, five minutes, had — in his young little life. All of that sense of accomplishment and pride was tucked away in that little part of his memory that just filled his heart a-bursting every time someone dared to call he — not Red, not Lance;Green motherfucking Oak — Champion.

So needless to say he liked the guy. He had his words in all the right places. He was polite, easy on Green’s fragile little ego, and he liked to watch a good Onix fucking every now and again. What could be better? 

     “You’re insufferable,” he murmurs, fingers tugging through part of his hair to fix whatever Green tousled. He’s aware the veiled insults are meant in JEST, but it still irritates like a slightly open wound.

     Falkner tugs his arm free of Green’s grip — he bites back the urge to say he can handle himself just fine — and follows the other with resigned acceptance. 

     “Ever thought of, you know, texting me, like a normal person?”

     Not that shopping or getting food sounded like a bad idea, but he liked having a plan for such events. Still, as Green pulls him close with an arm around the shoulder, Falkner allows himself to take a deep breath and try to relax. 

     “Gonna veto the leash.” His response comes with an eye roll. “You actually wanna walk all the way to Goldenrod, or fly? ‘Cause I’m sure you already know my preference.”

     The shock is finally fading, and Falkner can feel his guard crumpling ever so. Friends seems a strange word between them, hovering there between a jagged crack in the concrete. He would oscillate between yes, of course and annoyance, though… Perhaps that only cemented their relationship. Green certainly knew him better than many, and Falkner usually didn’t FIGHT his company. His etched frown relaxes into a neutral expression.

     Lighten up, he chides himself.

     “Sorry, this passive-aggressive brain only gets one idea per day. Please wait the allotted twenty-four hours before asking again.”

Falkner's snarky comment earned a good chuckle from Green; he knew how the guy was — usually-defensive and oftentimes speaking with a bite in his voice — but Green was never bothered by that sorta thing. Actually, he found it hilarious. It was this sort of dynamic he liked having between him and Falkner; it made him a special kind of friend.

Frankly, for all of Green's annoying habits, he enjoyed someone who played off of those. If he went around throwing peanuts and spitballs in peoples' hair and they just took it with a smile all the time, then that... that'd just be sad, actually.

It was why he appreciated Falkner, appreciated how much he could bother him. He'd always be rewarded with an immediate response — something to stoke Green's chaotic flames and continue on with this little tête-á-tête thar they called friendship.

"Course I never thought to text ya! What do I look like — a functioning member of society? Now, c'mon, babe, you know me better than that! Though, I'm flattered you think so highly of me to consider that I might ever be normal!" He laughed, slapping Falkner on the back before returning his arm that was shoved off right back to that same shoulder.

"And, well, I wanna walk! You can't rightly have a good conversation when the wind's whipping around at thirty miles an hour. I like having us time, don't you?" He didn't even give Falkner a moment to answer before he cut himself off, "The mall and a movie? Gee, Falkner, you're so smart! See, that passive-aggressive brain of yours really does come up with more than one idea!" With that, he fished out some movie tickets, although yes, not a single one of them brought up the idea. It was nice to give people credit where credit wasn't due, y'know?

Makes 'em feel nice.

The former champion really threw his arm around Volkner’s shoulder. The eighth Gym Leader said nothing at first, not wanting to sound like he was intimidated by Green or anything - Also, it wasn’t every day a cute guy he just met wrapped his arm around him - but Volkner really disliked physical contact from almost everyone. And then even after that, Green had the gall to ask him where they should go… And Green called him Volky. Volky. VOLKY. This guy was cute, but definitely way too forward for Volkner’s liking. 

 Man, he really didn’t want to have make a decision. This was supposed to be just him accompanying Green on a trip, and… The kid didn’t even have an itinerary. That was like, rule number one of travelling somewhere, and Green broke it. Man… what a character. Wasn’t it not Volkner’s job to be a tour guide? From his experience with Flint, Volkner already knew that the Elite Four could be inanely aloof, but Cynthia had seemed very well organized, so Volkner figured a former champion would be the same. Big mistake. He sighed, thinking of how he could make this trip short… Or something. Then it hit him.

If Volkner could potentially lead Green to Snowpoint, the cold could be off-putting towards Green… Maybe off-putting enough that the Electric Gym Leader could go back to lazing around? But how would he convince the guy to go to Snowpoint… And he seemed like a genuinely nice guy, too. Even though how forward Green was really annoyed Volkner. Still, it wasn’t like Snowpoint was a bad idea. It had the temple, after all, and if Green could survive the trek there, maybe it’d be worth it for both of them.

“Fine. If you’ve heard of Snowpoint Temple in your research, we can go there,” Volkner grumbled. He wasn’t going to fill in any gaps he didn’t have to or want to, and he hoped that someone who put themselves forward as a researcher knew what the location was and what lore it held. 

The blond paused a bit, before adding, “And don’t call me Volky again.”

“Sure thing, Volkner.” He corrected in a single breath, another pat on Volkner’s shoulder. “Sorry about that.” 

Like yeah, sure, Green was an asshole, way too forward, extra — all those words were perfect descriptors of him — but the last thing he did was disrespect a hard boundary when someone brought it up to him. That’d be the difference between his silly, fun aesthetic, and just being a Grade-A asshole. And he was not. A Grade-A asshole.

Contrary to Volkner’s beliefs ( and hopes, probably ) Green was actually delighted at the idea of going to Snowpoint. Kanto is already cold as hell as it is, and Green was actually one to prefer the cold more than he preferred the warm. “Oh great! Snowpoint Temple seems amazing; I already packed my snow clothes and everything. This is gonna be awesome.” Honestly, in the few times he’d considered going to Sinnoh, Snowpoint Temple was actually towards the top of his list, seeing as how the place needed a higher-up’s authority to even be able to enter.

              Well… ‘fuck’ wasn’t the word Riley would use. Or diddly. Or ‘hammering away.’ Not when talking about Onix, anyway. Wasn’t this man supposed to be a biologist? Was there… some sort of humor he was missing here? Riley didn’t quite get it, but Green certainly carried himself with a sort of confidence that Riley could appreciate.

             So, he laughs along.            Even if Riley can see with his own two eyes what Green’s up to.

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Here was a man asking him if Green wanted the opportunity to see Onixes fuck. He like. He offered that to Green. Right out the gate. Like it was normal. Biologist or not, Green was quietly starting to wonder what the fuck this guy was on, looking so handsome yet being so utterly oblivious to the kinda shit he was saying.

He was like a prince. Goddamn. Who was this man. Was he in love? Probably. 

He laughed along as this Riley dude spoke so calmly and so sophisticated about Onixes being in heat, and threw an arm around Riley’s far shoulder, pulling him in close. “Of course it’ll be beneficial to my research, Randy. What could be less suggestive than two guys being dudes, watching Onixes fucking and re-carving half your island in the pursuit of baby-makin’? Nothing gay about that. No sir.” He patted his shoulder.

“How ‘bout we just do both, huh? See some good ol’ Onix fuckin’ and if we don’t die a horribly rocky cave-in death, then we’ll see all the cool Steelixes and other shit like that? Nothing could be better. Absolutely nothing.”

Lance leans a little into Green when he flung an arm over his shoulders, and finds his body relaxing. While he’s not a huge fan of unsolicited physical contact, when it comes from people who he cared for or trust, it becomes a source of comfort instead. He’d never truly say it out loud that he enjoyed these touches, but he figured that Green knew anyway. His little brother had always been observant when it comes to him, and probably knew more than even Lance is about himself.

He looks at the screenings, trying to find anything that both of them could enjoy. So far, there were nothing that fit what he listed, until Green stopped at a particular movie title. The showtime indicated that they had last than an hour before the viewing. They’d be cutting it close, but if he recalled movies correctly, they would always show at least ten to fifteen minutes of ads first before the actual movie.

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Well, if there was anything Green knew about nature documentaries, it was that the filmmakers were always respectful, or so help him God there’d be hell to pay. By Lance specifically. He knew his brother by now; he knew the song and dance. But from everything he’d read about in the movie summary ( which was just a Wikipedia article, mind you ) it seemed like everything was reputable. And, c’mon now, with a girl like Clair practically having the run of Blackthorn, there’d be no way she’d just let all hell break loose around her own goddamn city just for some bigwigs to make a buck.

Nature documentary filmmakers were nearly-always good people. They filmed Pokemon falling over branches, for Christ’s sake.

With Lance’s interest piqued, the two made their way off in a hurry to Saffron, Green’s demeanor still calm and cool as he walked. As much as he wanted to, he decided not to comment until after the two had gotten to the city and gotten their tickets, having about twenty minutes to spare. It was only after they’d gotten to the theater that he seriously considered that Lance... might fall asleep watching the movie, it was so dark. He wouldn’t be upset, though. The dude probably needs it.