i appreciate your answer to the question about labels
but i feel you didnāt answer the main question - how do you tell the difference between imposter syndrome about your gender vs feeling incongruent because that isnāt your gender
do you have any advice for this?
Thanks for letting us know that we didnāt answer the question. Here is the original question that I will aim to answer this time:
uh how can you tell the difference between imposter syndrome and āthatās not meā
how can i tell if iām nb, or just a trans man with imposter syndrome about being a āreal manā?
or if iām trans at all? since apparently iād have to be convincing myself of my gender either way
iām so worried iām gonna claim an identity thatās not mine
Imposter syndrome would be more of aĀ āIām not ___ enough to be ___,ā if I am not mistaken. Officially, according to fairygodboss.com among other websites, signs of imposter syndrom include: ā
- a lack of self-confidence
- doubts about your thoughts, abilities, achievements and accomplishments
- feelings of inadequacyĀ
- dwelling on past mistakes and not feeling good enough.
Ā I can definitely see your worry aboutĀ āclaiming an identity thatās notā yours, which is perfectly valid.Ā You donāt want to invalidate anyone else. But, chances are, youāre not actually invalidating them. If you experiment with they/them pronouns, youāre not discrediting non-binary people. Most NB people I know would in fact encourage you to try them out and to see if they fit.Ā
Oftentimes when we feel alone or unappreciated, we can go looking for things like labels that describe how we may be feeling. So if you suddenly donāt feelĀ āman enoughā (more on that later), you may look for reasons for this.Ā
Masculinity has many different explanations, it is something that is unique to every individual. As a trans man I honestly donāt know how to describe it, itās just what I am. I went through many labels including different non-binary labels, but found he/him to bring me the most joy. Which pronouns bring you joy? They can even be more than one. You might try he/they pronouns for a little bit.
You have NO quota that you have to fill toĀ ābe a man.ā You donāt have to like specific things, you donāt have to feel certain ways, you donāt have to contain years of toxic masculinity that you refuse to get rid of. If you are a man, you just are. I donāt make the rules. And thatās the same with being ANY OTHER GENDER. Non binary people donāt have to be androgynous, they are allowed to present in whatever bloody way they want. It doesnāt matter if youāre a seven-foot-tall muscled person with an untameable beard - if youāre NB, youāre NB, and your pronouns are to be respected without question.
Unfortunately, I cannot just tell you if you are trans or non-binary: thatās out of my powers. But I can help you uncover more specifically what (along with Imposter Syndrome) could be causing you to doubt your gender identity.Ā
I am more than happy for you to privately message me @thatshortdudety and work through this with you (your identity is completely safe with me), or continue on anonymous on the blog. Or perhaps this is all the depth you wanted and will be happy to be on your own from here. Whatever your thoughts may be, I will support you.
