A Man of His Own Invention

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        “I don’t think you want me to answer that.” Robin replied, a smirk ghosting across his lips before disappearing. “Anyone can be helpless, no matter their face.” And that was the truth of it. He had come across plenty of people that didn’t look traditionally helpless that had needed his help. Judging a book by its cover wasn’t something that he liked to do because of that. “A situation that landed you here?” That was awfully vague. “Alright, well if you change your mind, I’m heading in that direction.” Robin looked to the right, gesturing back towards town before heading that way. 

-

Eugene wanted to be offended, at first. But he couldn’t really be mad when the other man made sense. Eugene himself had had a few lucrative opportunities in his life at the expense individuals with a wide variety of faces. So even his own first-hand experience proved that anyone can be a sucker, regardless of their appearance.

He was grateful when the man dropped the question about the ‘situation’ in question before Eugene was forced to elaborate...until he started walking.

“It was a compliment! Haven’t you ever seen a water lily? They’re my favourite flower.” She huffed a little, but kept her cheery demeanour. She decided to move from the park path to sit down near the man. It felt rude to have a conversation so far away. “It’s mucus, actually.” She replied, matter-of-factly. Rani was an expert in all things water and water-related. She just couldn’t get enough of it. “Well, I apologize on behalf of the frog. I’m sure he didn’t mean to ruin your nap.” She said with a sweet smile. “Oh! I’m sorry, I haven’t introduced myself. I’m Rani.”

-

“Mucus?” Eugene raised an eyebrow, his lip curling up in almost a stink-face. “Oh, that makes me feel so much better,” he shook his head a bit. “Well, Rani,” he continued, echoing the name. “I guess I’ll accept your apology on the frog’s behalf. Just...no more frog-mucus anywhere near my face, deal?” He gave a bit of a smirk. “The name’s Flynn Rider, by the way.” A shameless lie, but a well-practiced one that left the man’s lips with ease

Rapunzel had always been a bit more, sheltered than most people her age. Even now, the freedom she did have was stolen. Moments of time where her mother would be gone for hours on end and she could just…be. “I’m just wary of strangers. You know. Ruffians. Thugs. You never know….no offense to you..Flynn.” she said his name softly. There was a sense of familiarity to it, though she couldn’t place why. “I don’t get out much.” she nervously chuckled. “Do you sleep in the park often?”

-

Eugene breathed through his nose -- almost a chuckle. “Yeah, you should probably avoid running into any of those. No offense taken.” And it was true -- he wasn’t offended by the description. There was a reason he had the reputation he did -- even if he thought ‘ruffian’ and ‘thug’ were strong words to apply to himself. 

What he hadn’t been expecting were questions about his sleeping habits. The thing was, he did have a bed. In a hotel one might describe as “sketchy”. Under a fake name. Paid with a card acquired using not-entirely-legal means.

But if Eugene had learned anything in his years on his own, it was how to talk his way out of situations and dodge questions about his personal life. “I mean, when the weather’s this nice, you gotta take advantage and enjoy the fresh air, right? Y’know, relax. In the sun.”

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“Oh, you poor soul.” Rani said, trying to rein in her amusement. “There is no shame in being a landing pad for a nice creature like that. They land on lily pads, too, and those are quite lovely.” The blonde continued, trying to make him feel better. “At least it wasn’t some gross bug.” She shuddered. 

-

“Not sure how I feel being put on the same level as a lily pad,” Eugene mused, narrowing his eyes a bit. But now that the initial shock of the moment has passed, there didn’t seem to be genuine hard feelings behind his words. “Besides, that? Way grosser than a bug. Bugs are a lot smaller. Well, usually. And they aren’t covered in slime!” 

~

“She, they, either is fine,” she assured him. “I’ve heard people switch mid sentence before, it’s kind of fun. Thanks for asking.”

“Ooh, love the Duckling, always a fun crowd,” she said with a smile. She then shrugged. “Yes we are. And if they say shit, money talks louder than outfits, despite what my mother might say.” Merida didn’t usually like to flaunt her wealth, unless it was to use it for either the greater good or to fuck with the upper classes. This was a perfect opportunity to do both.

-

“He/him for me,” he responded. Eugene couldn’t really speak one way or another about the mom thing. He’d heard that mothers having strong opinions on what you wear was apparently not uncommon. But he wouldn’t know, so all he could really do was shrug in response. 

“Hey, isn’t spending a lot of money on distressed clothing a thing? Outfit might fit right in.” He messed with his hair. “Not to mention this. Most people have to pay stylists lot of money and use a ton of products for this messy, tousled look! Me? I’m blessed with waking up like this naturally.”

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          Casimir stood behind the other man, watching as the frog hopped off, going to find a different place to rest. “I think you might have frightened it more than it frightened you.” He let out a giggle, eyes still on the small green creature until it was gone, having found a new home in the nearby pond. His attention turned towards the man, who was, despite his looks, not a frog. “You should try sleeping somewhere that isn’t the ground. You’ll find there’s less frogs.”

Eugene gave the other man a look. “Oh, really? You don’t say. Why didn’t I think of that? Gosh, I’ll have to try that next time.” It was probably a bit more sarcasm than the situation required, but now that his nap had been interrupted, he was in a mood. “Listen, the little fucker had it coming, if you ask me. I was minding my own business. It hopped on me. So I feel no guilt if it got a little spooked.”

Rapunzel’s eyebrows furrowed at him as he talked, still wary of the stranger. “Rapunzel.” she introduced herself back. She looked around seeing if any one else was around. It was a nice day so people were around which made her feel better. You could never be too careful. “Well, I’m happy you’re alright and it wasn’t anything serious Mr.Rider. I should probably get out of your hair.”

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“...Gesundheit.” he said, unsure of the actual pronunciation of what he assumed must’ve been her name. “And please, Mr. Rider was my father,” It was something of an inside joke that only he understood, given that Rider wasn’t his real last name and that Eugene had no idea who his father was, let alone what people called the man. 

The man was sleeping like the dead if he had to compare him to anything, given that was one of his interests he couldn’t help but noticed how to relax while in a public place. It was almost as if he’d just belong there among the aimless people with nothing more important to do. It was only disturbed when a frog landed right on his face did, he have to hold back his laughter. “You know in the fairy tales you probably should’ve kissed it, might’ve turned into a princess” He teased him taking a seat now that the other wasn’t sleeping.

Eugene narrowed his eyes at the comment. It was never fun to be laughed at. At, even worse, it seemed he was talking to some kind of wise guy.

Still, Eugene could take whatever he was given and throw it right back. “Even if the frog did turn into a princess, not sure if I’d exactly be a princess’ type.” he retorted. “Guess it’s a good thing I’m not in a fairy tale, then.” He smirked. “And besides, frog’d have to at least buy me a drink first, if anything.”

“I’m a classy demigirl,” she said with a shrug, though her grin was definitely on the smug side. She arched an eyebrow at him with his condition before nodding. “Flynn Rider, nice to meet you,” they said before promising “You don’t have to order the frog legs. Order what you want, just thought the frog legs thing was funny.” As they approached, she said “I’m assuming you haven’t been before, then?”

-

“Demigirl,” he repeated, vaguely remembering the term from something he’d read. “She/her pronouns still good?” he confirmed. 

Upon hearing her question, he laughed a bit. “And, uh --  no. Never been. Places like The Snuggly Duckling are more my style,” he explained. “Not sure if Gusteau’s would be ready for all of this.” He gestured to himself. “But hey, guess we’re gonna find out!” 

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Rani gasped as the small frog that she had been watching hop around hop onto an unsuspecting man’s face while he napped in the grass. She had the sudden urge to apologize for the frog’s behaviour, but realized that would be silly of her. “Are you alright?” She called from the path, trying to mask her giggles at the situation. 

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Eugene looked over when he heard the sound of a voice that seemed to be addressing him. His face fell once he realized someone else had been around to witness. He wiped his face with his sleeve in case the frog had left any residue when it had jumped, but sure enough, the frog had left nothing but embarassment.  “Oh, don’t worry. It’s just my pride,” he said dryly, already wishing for an escape.

~

“No taking it back, but the name is Merida,” she corrected. “Only friends get promoted to nicknames.” She looked around at the food options before a wicked grin grew on her face. “The move is Gusteu’s. You had a frog jump on your face? You can have frog legs for revenge.” She then rolled her eyes. “There’s also plenty of other great food there, but I’m very funny and playing on the irony.” She knew she probably didn’t fit the usual dress code right now, and she knew he didn’t, but that was part of the fun; shoving their “lowliness” in the rich fucks faces. “Oh, I didn’t catch your name.”

“Gusteu’s,” Eugene echoed, eyebrows raising. “Whoa-ho! You have classy taste!” It was a far cry from the seedy pubs and rowdy bars he was used to. But maybe it’d be a nice change of pace. Besides, the mental image of himself with his less-than-stellar reputation making an appearance at a fine dining establishment was just funny.

“I never dropped it,” he replied with a grin. “You can have it, but in exchange, you have to promise you aren’t buying me frog legs.” A pause for dramatic affect. “One Flynn Rider, at your service.”

~

Merida covered her mouth, shaking her head and trying to let her laughter die down. “I’m sorry, that was so rude,” she said, a giggle still managing to escape. “I couldn’t help it though, you would’ve done the same thing if the roles were reversed, I promise.” Her laughter finally died down fully enough for her to take in the stranger. Was he… a part of her thought maybe he was homeless, which only made her laughing worse. What kind of monster laughed at a homeless guy? “Can I buy you a meal to make up for it?” she asked, figuring it was the least she could do.

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Now that caught Eugene’s attention.

“Is that a question?” He laughed. “You said it. You offered. Can’t take it back now. Let’s go, Red.” He was already leaving, heading toward the side of the park with the street where they’d have several options for eating. He didn’t care where it was -- it was free food, he wasn’t about to be picky. “Chinese? Taco truck? What’s the move?”

Rapunzel took a step back at the man’s tone. She hadn’t meant to offend him. “Oh well. I’ll just be going then.. Happy you’re okay-..” she  stopped when he continued. His demeanor somehow changed. “How do you usually make them?” she asked curiously. 

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“Throwing a dashing smile people’s way usually does wonders,” he replied. And, predictably, he was smiling. “Or maybe I’m just naturally charismatic.” Satisfied with a solid recovery, Eugene was starting to act like himself again. Or, at least, the ‘himself’ he’d created. “The name’s Flynn Rider. How’s it goin’?” 

Rapunzel was walking home when she’d heard to man yell. She walked a few feet towards the noise, noticing a man on the ground. “Are you alright?” she asked not wanting to get too close. Mother warned her about ruffians and thugs. “I heard you scream, do you need help?” Her head went from side to side looking for any signs of danger. There didn’t seem to be any.  

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“Excuse me?” Eugene retorted, still not completely composed after the frog encounter. He brushed himself off and got to his feet. “I did not scream, I just...” He stopped for a moment, meeting her eyes, finally letting out a sigh. “Who’m I kidding? You just saw me get woken up by a frog in my face. I’m not leaving this with my dignity in tact, am I?” He let out a bit of a chuckle. “Not usually how I like to make my introductions.”

Anton was no stranger to people not believing in his premonitions . After all there were so many phonies, especially out on the pier. Still the word wounded him. “Hustle?” he spoke in offense. “No no no. I guarantee you boy, my readings are the genuine article. The cards can tell, the past, the present, and the future as well.” he smiled, shuffling the deck. “After all, you came in here for a reason, no?” 

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“Yeah. Because I was bored, in the area, and it happened to be here,” Eugene replied, still clearly unconvinced. “Don’t try to con a conman.” He gave a knowing grin. “But dont take it too hard. Like I said, I can respect it. Pulling off something this elaborate? It takes a lot of work. I gotta admit, I am a little impressed. Tourists are suckers for this kinda stuff.”

Merida was a huge outdoor person, loving being outside as much as possible. She loved being surrounded by nature, and the park was one of the best places to do that safely. She was simply enjoying her walk when she noticed someone taking a nap in the grass. Nothing special, but this one had a frog on his chest. She was intrigued. Was it his pet? Then, when the little creature hopped onto the man’s face, she decided it was definitely a surprise. She couldn’t stop herself from just full on laughing, his reaction and the entire situation being hilarious to her.

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As if getting the shit scared out of him by a frog wasn’t bad enough, when he started hearing laughter, he was about ready to follow the frog straight into the pond it’d just hopped into and stay there. He supposed hoping no one had noticed or seen it would’ve been asking too much.

Arms crossed, his eyes narrowed at the laughing stranger. “Huh. Hilarious. Glad you find this so funny,” Eugene said in a very un-glad tone. “I guess if the frog and I have to suffer, someone should at least get something out of it.”

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      “Was it?” Rob asked, surprised by the man’s reaction to the question. Only someone doing something suspicious would think of the question as such. It was fully innocent. Robin wasn’t trying to rob the man, or rather borrow anything from him. He was just trying to make sure that the man was alright. “So you’re alone then. Do you need help getting back to town? There’s not much out here.” Beyond the woods there wasn’t much else.

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“Buddy, does this look like a face that says ‘helpless’ to you?” Eugene retorted, dramatically gesturing under his chin for good measure.

“Okay, look, I know where I am. I was just...in a situation. And sort of...ended up here.” He was being intentionally vague. He wasn’t about to explain that he thought he’d somehow seen someone he knew from a few towns ago who he wasn’t anxious to meet again. Only to find out he’d been incorrect and ran for nothing. “I can find my way back just fine, though. So...Thanks. I guess. But I’m good.” Still not entirely sure if he could trust the other man (then again, did he truly trust anyone?), Eugene decide the best thing would be to try to back out without escalating if that was still an option.