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You all want someone to come into your life and downgrade you. Take you from being someone who’s successfully made it through to adulthood, and make you into someone who eagerly waves “Bye-Bye!” to your adulthood as you toss it in a dumpster.

That’s where I come in.

I don’t train through sheer domination. I instill habits in you that make it hard for you to see yourself as an adult. Nightlights? You’ll need that. Nighttime bath? You’ll be doing that. Early bedtime? Not at first silly you’d fight that too much. We’ll start with a reasonable one and push it up more and more while you aren’t looking.

Kiddo are safari bedsheets such a big deal? They are your favorite diaper. Hugging your stuffy so many times a day can’t be that bad, you love your stuffie, right? I know you appreciate everything I do kiddo, I appreciate how hiliarious we’ve made you. How many other guys in their 20’s have a bedtime, nightlight, childish bedsheets, take a bubble bath everyday, and can’t help but refer to any adult they meet as Sir or Mam?

You never reach too far, you never give your diaperboy more than a slight inconvenience at once. You want him to do as you say, and despite what the online stories tell you, you have to take it slow. Too fast, and even if he doesn’t lose interest then he isn’t following along.

All that to say, would you look at my newest boy! He’s so precious. Look at how well he used that diaper. I didn’t even ask for this picture, he just wanted to show off. We’ll have his adulthood in the garbage bin in no time.

Recently one of my good friends went into my closet to borrow one of my shirts.  Well lets say his suspicions that I’m still in diapers were confirmed…

“dude, I knew you still wore diapers you big baby haha”