you can count on me

I was this strong independent person that needed no one. But now ater going through a lot of ups and downs in a small period of time I feel a bit lost. Don’t know where I am exactly or what I should do.

I want to stay alone but at the same time i don’t. I was never attached to anyone, I never let anyone to my heart, I never oppened up deeply to anyone...

But when I started doing that at the beginning it felt reliefing and good but now with the time I don’t know anymore.

I have this fear of letting people in so they would know a lot more about me and I would seem like an open book which im not!

I don’t Know. I don’t know what’s going on anymore.

I don’t listen to the same music anymore.

I don’t feel close to anyone anymoe. Everyone who I start to love leaves eventuelly.

I feel like I should more people in, I need to feel loved, by one person, who I also love and care about.

I don’t know if I’m ever gonna find that.

I’m not sure about it.

You know? I’ve changed, or no maybe I’m just growing up..

But it doesn’t feel the same anymore, sometimes I like it, sometimes I don’t. I miss the old me. Who I was before. This might sound weird but sometimes I miss this Introvert who used to love deep music and deep conversations without having a huge amount of things to think about or enormous responsibilities to handle.

I can’t think right anymore, it’s a little exhausting..