Oscar Wilde (2.0!)

you just spawned out of the stork as a grown ass man. please. it can't carry all that.

"What do birds have to do with this?"

the stork brings babies. and grown ass femboys according to you.

".... jeez you're even younger than I thought"

i'm educated. they only let kids in school so you're probably illiterate.

"You can't work at an office if you can't read"

nah, you could lie. that's how i get cash from the café. although you don't look built for it.

"You literally need to write reports. Those are impossible to fake"

i could manage it. show me where you work and ill show you.

"No thanks"

imma do it for free! see how nice i am.

"I'm still saying no"

i'll wash your coat for you. i'm great at that.

"No thank you"

why not ?? i swear i fished these clothes out the trash. and look at them now! gorj. just trust me.

"You spilled coffee on me, drew on my coat... or at least tried... and insulted me for twenty minutes straight. I'd rather trust the guy who tried to kill me"

well now i'm about to fix one of these things. and if it doesn't work i'll get you whatever you pay me back.

"I'm still saying no, kid"

come the fuck on. do you want me to beg ? i'll beg. please. i need to get wherever the hell you're working. let me do this thing for you and you get me in!

"Why do you want to go there so bad-?"

because this pays fucking peanuts ! i'm sick of watching over my shoulder in case the owner comes back !

"Because the owner might overhear how you treat people?'

no! in case he just sees me period! i'm not allowed in here. said i was filthy.

"..... who hired you?"

myself. customers give me money. i get rid of the evidence.

"That... isn't how being hired works. And explains why you don't get much money. You do realize you're most likely not even old enough to get hired?"

"... why not just go to school?"

wow what a great idea let me get my nonexistant documents and invisible school records. how am i gonna eat if i'm at school?

are you fucking stupid ? sure. let me be nice to random people in the street. i'm sure they won't do anything to me.

"Not what I meant"

fucked up people don't carry around signs saying they're fucked up. you know how many cops paid visit ? not taking any chances.

"No idea on the cops, but I'm aware that people are fucked up more often than not. I was more so referring on people taking pity and hiring you if you're nicer"

"Fair enough, but insulting people will get you fired even when you have an actual job, kid. If you don't treat people with respect, they won't treat you with any either"

fine, fine. if i don't like cuss people out too much at your thing, will you let me there ?

"If you behave and don't try stealing anything, I'll even buy you lunch"

...you're serious ? why ?

"Because I get needing help and being unable to actually trust people"

fine. i promise i'll do things. and won't steal anything important.

"No stealing at all"

not even stationaries ?

".... no stealing and I'll buy some"

deal. okay. gimme your coat it'll be brand new.

since you've been cool with me i'll tell you. but don't repeat this shit to nobody ! i put it in the weird ass mixture liquid mixtures. they burn but it's chill. then i put the thing that makes it smooth. and i leave to dry. and voila!

".... are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, if it burns? That doesn't sound good for your health"

i don't talk to people i can't outrun. generally. i'll be fine. i can always get a knife.

"... so you assumed you can outrun me?"

without even breaking a sweat.

"Because of the heels?"

you just spawned out of the stork as a grown ass man. please. it can't carry all that.

"What do birds have to do with this?"

the stork brings babies. and grown ass femboys according to you.

".... jeez you're even younger than I thought"

i'm educated. they only let kids in school so you're probably illiterate.

"You can't work at an office if you can't read"

nah, you could lie. that's how i get cash from the café. although you don't look built for it.

"You literally need to write reports. Those are impossible to fake"

i could manage it. show me where you work and ill show you.

"No thanks"

imma do it for free! see how nice i am.

"I'm still saying no"

i'll wash your coat for you. i'm great at that.

"No thank you"

why not ?? i swear i fished these clothes out the trash. and look at them now! gorj. just trust me.

"You spilled coffee on me, drew on my coat... or at least tried... and insulted me for twenty minutes straight. I'd rather trust the guy who tried to kill me"

well now i'm about to fix one of these things. and if it doesn't work i'll get you whatever you pay me back.

"I'm still saying no, kid"

come the fuck on. do you want me to beg ? i'll beg. please. i need to get wherever the hell you're working. let me do this thing for you and you get me in!

"Why do you want to go there so bad-?"

because this pays fucking peanuts ! i'm sick of watching over my shoulder in case the owner comes back !

"Because the owner might overhear how you treat people?'

no! in case he just sees me period! i'm not allowed in here. said i was filthy.

"..... who hired you?"

myself. customers give me money. i get rid of the evidence.

"That... isn't how being hired works. And explains why you don't get much money. You do realize you're most likely not even old enough to get hired?"

"... why not just go to school?"

wow what a great idea let me get my nonexistant documents and invisible school records. how am i gonna eat if i'm at school?

are you fucking stupid ? sure. let me be nice to random people in the street. i'm sure they won't do anything to me.

"Not what I meant"

fucked up people don't carry around signs saying they're fucked up. you know how many cops paid visit ? not taking any chances.

"No idea on the cops, but I'm aware that people are fucked up more often than not. I was more so referring on people taking pity and hiring you if you're nicer"

"Fair enough, but insulting people will get you fired even when you have an actual job, kid. If you don't treat people with respect, they won't treat you with any either"

fine, fine. if i don't like cuss people out too much at your thing, will you let me there ?

"If you behave and don't try stealing anything, I'll even buy you lunch"

...you're serious ? why ?

"Because I get needing help and being unable to actually trust people"

fine. i promise i'll do things. and won't steal anything important.

"No stealing at all"

not even stationaries ?

".... no stealing and I'll buy some"

deal. okay. gimme your coat it'll be brand new.

since you've been cool with me i'll tell you. but don't repeat this shit to nobody ! i put it in the weird ass mixture liquid mixtures. they burn but it's chill. then i put the thing that makes it smooth. and i leave to dry. and voila!

".... are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, if it burns? That doesn't sound good for your health"

i don't talk to people i can't outrun. generally. i'll be fine. i can always get a knife.

"... so you assumed you can outrun me?"

without even breaking a sweat.

you just spawned out of the stork as a grown ass man. please. it can't carry all that.

"What do birds have to do with this?"

the stork brings babies. and grown ass femboys according to you.

".... jeez you're even younger than I thought"

i'm educated. they only let kids in school so you're probably illiterate.

"You can't work at an office if you can't read"

nah, you could lie. that's how i get cash from the café. although you don't look built for it.

"You literally need to write reports. Those are impossible to fake"

i could manage it. show me where you work and ill show you.

"No thanks"

imma do it for free! see how nice i am.

"I'm still saying no"

i'll wash your coat for you. i'm great at that.

"No thank you"

why not ?? i swear i fished these clothes out the trash. and look at them now! gorj. just trust me.

"You spilled coffee on me, drew on my coat... or at least tried... and insulted me for twenty minutes straight. I'd rather trust the guy who tried to kill me"

well now i'm about to fix one of these things. and if it doesn't work i'll get you whatever you pay me back.

"I'm still saying no, kid"

come the fuck on. do you want me to beg ? i'll beg. please. i need to get wherever the hell you're working. let me do this thing for you and you get me in!

"Why do you want to go there so bad-?"

because this pays fucking peanuts ! i'm sick of watching over my shoulder in case the owner comes back !

"Because the owner might overhear how you treat people?'

no! in case he just sees me period! i'm not allowed in here. said i was filthy.

"..... who hired you?"

myself. customers give me money. i get rid of the evidence.

"That... isn't how being hired works. And explains why you don't get much money. You do realize you're most likely not even old enough to get hired?"

"... why not just go to school?"

wow what a great idea let me get my nonexistant documents and invisible school records. how am i gonna eat if i'm at school?

are you fucking stupid ? sure. let me be nice to random people in the street. i'm sure they won't do anything to me.

"Not what I meant"

fucked up people don't carry around signs saying they're fucked up. you know how many cops paid visit ? not taking any chances.

"No idea on the cops, but I'm aware that people are fucked up more often than not. I was more so referring on people taking pity and hiring you if you're nicer"

"Fair enough, but insulting people will get you fired even when you have an actual job, kid. If you don't treat people with respect, they won't treat you with any either"

fine, fine. if i don't like cuss people out too much at your thing, will you let me there ?

"If you behave and don't try stealing anything, I'll even buy you lunch"

...you're serious ? why ?

"Because I get needing help and being unable to actually trust people"

fine. i promise i'll do things. and won't steal anything important.

"No stealing at all"

not even stationaries ?

".... no stealing and I'll buy some"

deal. okay. gimme your coat it'll be brand new.

since you've been cool with me i'll tell you. but don't repeat this shit to nobody ! i put it in the weird ass mixture liquid mixtures. they burn but it's chill. then i put the thing that makes it smooth. and i leave to dry. and voila!

".... are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, if it burns? That doesn't sound good for your health"

i don't talk to people i can't outrun. generally. i'll be fine. i can always get a knife.

you just spawned out of the stork as a grown ass man. please. it can't carry all that.

"What do birds have to do with this?"

the stork brings babies. and grown ass femboys according to you.

".... jeez you're even younger than I thought"

i'm educated. they only let kids in school so you're probably illiterate.

"You can't work at an office if you can't read"

nah, you could lie. that's how i get cash from the café. although you don't look built for it.

"You literally need to write reports. Those are impossible to fake"

i could manage it. show me where you work and ill show you.

"No thanks"

imma do it for free! see how nice i am.

"I'm still saying no"

i'll wash your coat for you. i'm great at that.

"No thank you"

why not ?? i swear i fished these clothes out the trash. and look at them now! gorj. just trust me.

"You spilled coffee on me, drew on my coat... or at least tried... and insulted me for twenty minutes straight. I'd rather trust the guy who tried to kill me"

well now i'm about to fix one of these things. and if it doesn't work i'll get you whatever you pay me back.

"I'm still saying no, kid"

come the fuck on. do you want me to beg ? i'll beg. please. i need to get wherever the hell you're working. let me do this thing for you and you get me in!

"Why do you want to go there so bad-?"

because this pays fucking peanuts ! i'm sick of watching over my shoulder in case the owner comes back !

"Because the owner might overhear how you treat people?'

no! in case he just sees me period! i'm not allowed in here. said i was filthy.

"..... who hired you?"

myself. customers give me money. i get rid of the evidence.

"That... isn't how being hired works. And explains why you don't get much money. You do realize you're most likely not even old enough to get hired?"

"... why not just go to school?"

wow what a great idea let me get my nonexistant documents and invisible school records. how am i gonna eat if i'm at school?

are you fucking stupid ? sure. let me be nice to random people in the street. i'm sure they won't do anything to me.

"Not what I meant"

fucked up people don't carry around signs saying they're fucked up. you know how many cops paid visit ? not taking any chances.

"No idea on the cops, but I'm aware that people are fucked up more often than not. I was more so referring on people taking pity and hiring you if you're nicer"

"Fair enough, but insulting people will get you fired even when you have an actual job, kid. If you don't treat people with respect, they won't treat you with any either"

fine, fine. if i don't like cuss people out too much at your thing, will you let me there ?

"If you behave and don't try stealing anything, I'll even buy you lunch"

...you're serious ? why ?

"Because I get needing help and being unable to actually trust people"

fine. i promise i'll do things. and won't steal anything important.

"No stealing at all"

not even stationaries ?

".... no stealing and I'll buy some"

deal. okay. gimme your coat it'll be brand new.

since you've been cool with me i'll tell you. but don't repeat this shit to nobody ! i put it in the weird ass mixture liquid mixtures. they burn but it's chill. then i put the thing that makes it smooth. and i leave to dry. and voila!

".... are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, if it burns? That doesn't sound good for your health"

you just spawned out of the stork as a grown ass man. please. it can't carry all that.

"What do birds have to do with this?"

the stork brings babies. and grown ass femboys according to you.

".... jeez you're even younger than I thought"

i'm educated. they only let kids in school so you're probably illiterate.

"You can't work at an office if you can't read"

nah, you could lie. that's how i get cash from the café. although you don't look built for it.

"You literally need to write reports. Those are impossible to fake"

i could manage it. show me where you work and ill show you.

"No thanks"

imma do it for free! see how nice i am.

"I'm still saying no"

i'll wash your coat for you. i'm great at that.

"No thank you"

why not ?? i swear i fished these clothes out the trash. and look at them now! gorj. just trust me.

"You spilled coffee on me, drew on my coat... or at least tried... and insulted me for twenty minutes straight. I'd rather trust the guy who tried to kill me"

well now i'm about to fix one of these things. and if it doesn't work i'll get you whatever you pay me back.

"I'm still saying no, kid"

come the fuck on. do you want me to beg ? i'll beg. please. i need to get wherever the hell you're working. let me do this thing for you and you get me in!

"Why do you want to go there so bad-?"

because this pays fucking peanuts ! i'm sick of watching over my shoulder in case the owner comes back !

"Because the owner might overhear how you treat people?'

no! in case he just sees me period! i'm not allowed in here. said i was filthy.

"..... who hired you?"

myself. customers give me money. i get rid of the evidence.

"That... isn't how being hired works. And explains why you don't get much money. You do realize you're most likely not even old enough to get hired?"

"... why not just go to school?"

wow what a great idea let me get my nonexistant documents and invisible school records. how am i gonna eat if i'm at school?

are you fucking stupid ? sure. let me be nice to random people in the street. i'm sure they won't do anything to me.

"Not what I meant"

fucked up people don't carry around signs saying they're fucked up. you know how many cops paid visit ? not taking any chances.

"No idea on the cops, but I'm aware that people are fucked up more often than not. I was more so referring on people taking pity and hiring you if you're nicer"

"Fair enough, but insulting people will get you fired even when you have an actual job, kid. If you don't treat people with respect, they won't treat you with any either"

fine, fine. if i don't like cuss people out too much at your thing, will you let me there ?

"If you behave and don't try stealing anything, I'll even buy you lunch"

...you're serious ? why ?

"Because I get needing help and being unable to actually trust people"

fine. i promise i'll do things. and won't steal anything important.

"No stealing at all"

not even stationaries ?

".... no stealing and I'll buy some"

deal. okay. gimme your coat it'll be brand new.

since you've been cool with me i'll tell you. but don't repeat this shit to nobody ! i put it in the weird ass mixture liquid mixtures. they burn but it's chill. then i put the thing that makes it smooth. and i leave to dry. and voila!

".... are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, if it burns? That doesn't sound good for your health"

you just spawned out of the stork as a grown ass man. please. it can't carry all that.

"What do birds have to do with this?"

the stork brings babies. and grown ass femboys according to you.

".... jeez you're even younger than I thought"

i'm educated. they only let kids in school so you're probably illiterate.

"You can't work at an office if you can't read"

nah, you could lie. that's how i get cash from the café. although you don't look built for it.

"You literally need to write reports. Those are impossible to fake"

i could manage it. show me where you work and ill show you.

"No thanks"

imma do it for free! see how nice i am.

"I'm still saying no"

i'll wash your coat for you. i'm great at that.

"No thank you"

why not ?? i swear i fished these clothes out the trash. and look at them now! gorj. just trust me.

"You spilled coffee on me, drew on my coat... or at least tried... and insulted me for twenty minutes straight. I'd rather trust the guy who tried to kill me"

well now i'm about to fix one of these things. and if it doesn't work i'll get you whatever you pay me back.

"I'm still saying no, kid"

come the fuck on. do you want me to beg ? i'll beg. please. i need to get wherever the hell you're working. let me do this thing for you and you get me in!

"Why do you want to go there so bad-?"

because this pays fucking peanuts ! i'm sick of watching over my shoulder in case the owner comes back !

"Because the owner might overhear how you treat people?'

no! in case he just sees me period! i'm not allowed in here. said i was filthy.

"..... who hired you?"

myself. customers give me money. i get rid of the evidence.

"That... isn't how being hired works. And explains why you don't get much money. You do realize you're most likely not even old enough to get hired?"

"... why not just go to school?"

wow what a great idea let me get my nonexistant documents and invisible school records. how am i gonna eat if i'm at school?

are you fucking stupid ? sure. let me be nice to random people in the street. i'm sure they won't do anything to me.

"Not what I meant"

fucked up people don't carry around signs saying they're fucked up. you know how many cops paid visit ? not taking any chances.

"No idea on the cops, but I'm aware that people are fucked up more often than not. I was more so referring on people taking pity and hiring you if you're nicer"

"Fair enough, but insulting people will get you fired even when you have an actual job, kid. If you don't treat people with respect, they won't treat you with any either"

fine, fine. if i don't like cuss people out too much at your thing, will you let me there ?

"If you behave and don't try stealing anything, I'll even buy you lunch"

...you're serious ? why ?

"Because I get needing help and being unable to actually trust people"

fine. i promise i'll do things. and won't steal anything important.

"No stealing at all"

not even stationaries ?

".... no stealing and I'll buy some"

deal. okay. gimme your coat it'll be brand new.

since you've been cool with me i'll tell you. but don't repeat this shit to nobody ! i put it in the weird ass mixture liquid mixtures. they burn but it's chill. then i put the thing that makes it smooth. and i leave to dry. and voila!

you just spawned out of the stork as a grown ass man. please. it can't carry all that.

"What do birds have to do with this?"

the stork brings babies. and grown ass femboys according to you.

".... jeez you're even younger than I thought"

i'm educated. they only let kids in school so you're probably illiterate.

"You can't work at an office if you can't read"

nah, you could lie. that's how i get cash from the café. although you don't look built for it.

"You literally need to write reports. Those are impossible to fake"

i could manage it. show me where you work and ill show you.

"No thanks"

imma do it for free! see how nice i am.

"I'm still saying no"

i'll wash your coat for you. i'm great at that.

"No thank you"

why not ?? i swear i fished these clothes out the trash. and look at them now! gorj. just trust me.

"You spilled coffee on me, drew on my coat... or at least tried... and insulted me for twenty minutes straight. I'd rather trust the guy who tried to kill me"

well now i'm about to fix one of these things. and if it doesn't work i'll get you whatever you pay me back.

"I'm still saying no, kid"

come the fuck on. do you want me to beg ? i'll beg. please. i need to get wherever the hell you're working. let me do this thing for you and you get me in!

"Why do you want to go there so bad-?"

because this pays fucking peanuts ! i'm sick of watching over my shoulder in case the owner comes back !

"Because the owner might overhear how you treat people?'

no! in case he just sees me period! i'm not allowed in here. said i was filthy.

"..... who hired you?"

myself. customers give me money. i get rid of the evidence.

"That... isn't how being hired works. And explains why you don't get much money. You do realize you're most likely not even old enough to get hired?"

"... why not just go to school?"

wow what a great idea let me get my nonexistant documents and invisible school records. how am i gonna eat if i'm at school?

are you fucking stupid ? sure. let me be nice to random people in the street. i'm sure they won't do anything to me.

"Not what I meant"

fucked up people don't carry around signs saying they're fucked up. you know how many cops paid visit ? not taking any chances.

"No idea on the cops, but I'm aware that people are fucked up more often than not. I was more so referring on people taking pity and hiring you if you're nicer"

"Fair enough, but insulting people will get you fired even when you have an actual job, kid. If you don't treat people with respect, they won't treat you with any either"

fine, fine. if i don't like cuss people out too much at your thing, will you let me there ?

"If you behave and don't try stealing anything, I'll even buy you lunch"

...you're serious ? why ?

"Because I get needing help and being unable to actually trust people"

fine. i promise i'll do things. and won't steal anything important.

"No stealing at all"

not even stationaries ?

".... no stealing and I'll buy some"

deal. okay. gimme your coat it'll be brand new.

you just spawned out of the stork as a grown ass man. please. it can't carry all that.

"What do birds have to do with this?"

the stork brings babies. and grown ass femboys according to you.

".... jeez you're even younger than I thought"

i'm educated. they only let kids in school so you're probably illiterate.

"You can't work at an office if you can't read"

nah, you could lie. that's how i get cash from the café. although you don't look built for it.

"You literally need to write reports. Those are impossible to fake"

i could manage it. show me where you work and ill show you.

"No thanks"

imma do it for free! see how nice i am.

"I'm still saying no"

i'll wash your coat for you. i'm great at that.

"No thank you"

why not ?? i swear i fished these clothes out the trash. and look at them now! gorj. just trust me.

"You spilled coffee on me, drew on my coat... or at least tried... and insulted me for twenty minutes straight. I'd rather trust the guy who tried to kill me"

well now i'm about to fix one of these things. and if it doesn't work i'll get you whatever you pay me back.

"I'm still saying no, kid"

come the fuck on. do you want me to beg ? i'll beg. please. i need to get wherever the hell you're working. let me do this thing for you and you get me in!

"Why do you want to go there so bad-?"

because this pays fucking peanuts ! i'm sick of watching over my shoulder in case the owner comes back !

"Because the owner might overhear how you treat people?'

no! in case he just sees me period! i'm not allowed in here. said i was filthy.

"..... who hired you?"

myself. customers give me money. i get rid of the evidence.

"That... isn't how being hired works. And explains why you don't get much money. You do realize you're most likely not even old enough to get hired?"

"... why not just go to school?"

wow what a great idea let me get my nonexistant documents and invisible school records. how am i gonna eat if i'm at school?

are you fucking stupid ? sure. let me be nice to random people in the street. i'm sure they won't do anything to me.

"Not what I meant"

fucked up people don't carry around signs saying they're fucked up. you know how many cops paid visit ? not taking any chances.

"No idea on the cops, but I'm aware that people are fucked up more often than not. I was more so referring on people taking pity and hiring you if you're nicer"

"Fair enough, but insulting people will get you fired even when you have an actual job, kid. If you don't treat people with respect, they won't treat you with any either"

fine, fine. if i don't like cuss people out too much at your thing, will you let me there ?

"If you behave and don't try stealing anything, I'll even buy you lunch"

...you're serious ? why ?

"Because I get needing help and being unable to actually trust people"

fine. i promise i'll do things. and won't steal anything important.

"No stealing at all"

not even stationaries ?

you just spawned out of the stork as a grown ass man. please. it can't carry all that.

"What do birds have to do with this?"

the stork brings babies. and grown ass femboys according to you.

".... jeez you're even younger than I thought"

i'm educated. they only let kids in school so you're probably illiterate.

"You can't work at an office if you can't read"

nah, you could lie. that's how i get cash from the café. although you don't look built for it.

"You literally need to write reports. Those are impossible to fake"

i could manage it. show me where you work and ill show you.

"No thanks"

imma do it for free! see how nice i am.

"I'm still saying no"

i'll wash your coat for you. i'm great at that.

"No thank you"

why not ?? i swear i fished these clothes out the trash. and look at them now! gorj. just trust me.

"You spilled coffee on me, drew on my coat... or at least tried... and insulted me for twenty minutes straight. I'd rather trust the guy who tried to kill me"

well now i'm about to fix one of these things. and if it doesn't work i'll get you whatever you pay me back.

"I'm still saying no, kid"

come the fuck on. do you want me to beg ? i'll beg. please. i need to get wherever the hell you're working. let me do this thing for you and you get me in!

"Why do you want to go there so bad-?"

because this pays fucking peanuts ! i'm sick of watching over my shoulder in case the owner comes back !

"Because the owner might overhear how you treat people?'

no! in case he just sees me period! i'm not allowed in here. said i was filthy.

"..... who hired you?"

myself. customers give me money. i get rid of the evidence.

"That... isn't how being hired works. And explains why you don't get much money. You do realize you're most likely not even old enough to get hired?"

"... why not just go to school?"

wow what a great idea let me get my nonexistant documents and invisible school records. how am i gonna eat if i'm at school?

are you fucking stupid ? sure. let me be nice to random people in the street. i'm sure they won't do anything to me.

"Not what I meant"

fucked up people don't carry around signs saying they're fucked up. you know how many cops paid visit ? not taking any chances.

"No idea on the cops, but I'm aware that people are fucked up more often than not. I was more so referring on people taking pity and hiring you if you're nicer"

"Fair enough, but insulting people will get you fired even when you have an actual job, kid. If you don't treat people with respect, they won't treat you with any either"

fine, fine. if i don't like cuss people out too much at your thing, will you let me there ?

"If you behave and don't try stealing anything, I'll even buy you lunch"

...you're serious ? why ?

"Because I get needing help and being unable to actually trust people"

fine. i promise i'll do things. and won't steal anything important.

you just spawned out of the stork as a grown ass man. please. it can't carry all that.

"What do birds have to do with this?"

the stork brings babies. and grown ass femboys according to you.

".... jeez you're even younger than I thought"

i'm educated. they only let kids in school so you're probably illiterate.

"You can't work at an office if you can't read"

nah, you could lie. that's how i get cash from the café. although you don't look built for it.