🎵You, you got your own opinions. But baby, I don't even need to hear 'em. It used to hurt me, used to bring me down. Do your worst, 'cause nothing's gonna stop me now. Don't let those losers take your magic, baby, yeah. 🎶 (let 'em talk by kesha plays automatically when you go on brittany's blog)
LIMA LOSER? OR IS THAT BRITTANY PIERCE? THEY MIGHT EVEN PASS FOR HUNTER SCHAFER IN THE RIGHT LIGHT. THEY'RE TWENTY-TWO, BUT STILL STUCK IN LIMA AT MCKINLEY. THEY'VE BEEN CALLED THE BLONDE AIRHEAD, BUT PREFER TO BE THE UNICORN. MAYBE IF THEY FIX THEIR AESTHETIC AKA LONG MOMENTS DANCING WITHOUT A CARE WITH THE MUSIC BLARING, GOSSIPING ON ALL THE DIRT OVER A TOO HOT POT OF CHEESE, AND GETTING SWEATY OUT ON THE FIELD IN A TOO SHORT SKIRT AND THE ROLLER RINK WITH THE GIRLS ON SKATES THEY'LL GET THEIR WAY. WORD ON THE SHOW CHOIR BLOGS ARE THEY'RE IN THE TROUBLETONES. SO GOOD LUCK TO THEM!
THE BASICS:
name: brittany susan pierce aka brittany s.pierce.
nicknames: britt, b, bee, britt-britt.
pronouns: she/her. NOT IT, NOT HE/HIM. thank you.
gender: 🏳️⚧️ ♀️
birthday/zodiac: march 14th, pisces.
birthplace: lima, oh.
relationship status: single, but i've kissed just about every member of the senior and junior classes at mckinley.
sexuality: bisexual.
occupation: host of fondue for two.
sports/clubs: cheerios, dance, the muckraker, gay/straight alliance, mathletes. also it's not at school, but! i play on the local roller derby team here in lima, we're called the pinup punks. my name there is pierce the blade, i'm the jammer. i also play the drums in a band called high road.
major/minor: journalism and media communication.
languages: english, spanish, asl, and a language i invented in middle school!
social media handles: fonduefortwo professionally everywhere, fondueforbritt everywhere else for my friends.
PHYSICAL APPEARANCE:
height: 5'10'’.
build: ⌛️
eye color: blue.
hair color: blonde, sometimes i clip in fun colors when i'm not in cheerio mode though.
piercings: i have a lot! four on each ear, three on my lobes and one a helix and on the other an industrial. i also have my tongue, nipples, and belly button pierced.
tattoos: i have a rainbow on my wrist, a unicorn on my lower back and a small ufo on my shoulder. a portrait of my amazing feline friend lord tubbington. (someone who is Not brittany typed that in and later brittany removed it)
other distinguishing features: good tits and a big heart.
style: carefree and fun colors when i'm not in my cheer uniform. i love everything from bold patterns to simple ones.
PERSONALITY/INTERESTS:
traits: i like to think i’m loyal and creative, funny, friendly and pretty adventurous. but i know some people think i’m kind of stubborn and impulsive, probably naive and aloof too. also dumb or an airhead.
likes: to dance, fondue, my cats and the cats at love meow, art, math, performing, taking baths.
dislikes: bullies, being called stupid, ignorant people, conflict, injustice, feeling lonely.
fears: not being good enough or being hurt simply for being who i am.
skills: i can get out of handcuffs easily, bend pretty much my whole body, can put my feet over my head, do complicated math in my head, super good at reading peoples signs and i'm probably a lil psychic.
quirks: super bendy and flexible, does that count? double jointed, i can talk very fast, i do “voice overs”... mostly in my head.
hobbies: drawing, dancing, cheering, interviewing people, listening to true crime podcasts and alien/cryptid conspiracy theories, rollerskating, motocross.
music tastes: anything by kesha and beyonce, but also anything that i can dance to. ♪♫♬
myers-briggs: i did this because it was fun, but i can't remember i think it started with an e?
kinsey scale: 3, i'm equal opportunities.
strengths: i'm majorly talented, especially when it comes to dancing. i think people are surprised by how much i can lift too.. i also got like... an iron stomach, at least that's what my parents tell me. and despite what some people think, i'm pretty smart.
weaknesses: i get lost super easily.
She's the one they made me talk to when they found out I was keeping that bird in my locker.
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Fondue for Two? You have a fondue centred webshow? It's not, like, in front of a live studio audience or anything right? Dumb question, but I am not good at public speaking.
Yes! But also not entirely, it's fondue and gossip. Or at least current hot topics. Not yet, but hopefully some day. Right now you'd just be judged by my cats or we could totally do it somewhere else where you'd be more comfortable. I love doing a travel episode. Oh, are you good at public singing?
Thanks, Blondie. And I trust that you'll bring the good shit. And do you know if your guest DJ is single? Because I think I know who you're talking about and, what can I say, I like an emo boy. Hyped to hear the band as well, I'll always go feral for Sabrina in any context. You lucky, lucky sapphics. You guys get all the good music.
Of course, plus who wants to go to a club where the music sucks? I go because I want to dance, you know? I absolutely will! Actually... I have no idea, but I will find out. I do know I didn't see a wedding ring on his hand when he showed me a preview of his set. Like I know that wouldn't have stopped you, but still. And well, if the song Emo Boy is to be believed and true for all emo boys I can see why. Same, thankfully it didn't take a lot for Brett to agree. He's always down for a punk goes pop cover. It's true, but most likely because we always have tragic movies or tv shows.
You bet they do! And all the grated parmigiano reggiano your heart desires. Did you attend them last year? I don't think I recall whether I actually saw you in the audience.
I am so there then. I can't wait. I did! I try to go to every spooky thing I can find that's nearby so I can rate them for Fondue for Two. I think I rated your performance a 8/10 last year. It needed a little more razzle dazzle.
Hey guys, Violet here. Just wanted to air some grievances about some kids around my campus who clearly are still sore that they were not successful in their VA auditions. I know rejections sucks, but I'm not sure how shoulder-checking me in the hall and muttering 'show choir nepo baby scum' as they go past is going to make the offers that went out any different. Kind of not awesome for me personally.
But, regardless of that, I am excited to get to know all of you guys from the other teams!
Definitely not awesome, but you know what would be awesome? If you came on my webshow Fondue for Two! It might help, it might make it worse, but I don't discriminate against show choir nepo babies. It'll be fun and delicious, promise. I'm Brittany, by the way. I'm in the Troubletones.
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it could be worse - sam knows some chick named little bitch, apparently. vaggie is starting to sound not so bad in comparison. ...okay, for five hundred bucks i could be potentially down for putting on a stupid little cape or something. but only if you can guarantee my win. i'm not going to be in a costume and a loser. that's like, loser times two.
Both. 'Cause if he doesn't want to quit, there's no helping it. We learned that when he quit gambling.
Really? Is she a drag queen or is that like, a nickname? I think I'd take it over Vaggie. Good, but I'm not going to rig the contest. You're just going to have to make sure you have the best costume. You gotta go all out, Spencer. I mean, is it really if everyone else there is going to be in a costume?
If anyone's still looking for something fun (or spooky!) to do this Halloween season, not only will I be performing at Cedar Point's annual HalloWeekends again this year but — I cannot give enough praise to the cast and crew over at the great murder mystery of The Great Spaghetti Murders at the Ohio Theatre! It's like, you're stepping right onto the crime scene. Plus, there's pasta! Who doesn't love delicious pasta? I know I do. End of shameless promo.
I only have one question, Blaine. Do they serve meatballs with the pasta? Because if so, I'm there. I'll definitely go support you either way though. I always love their HalloWeekends.
Okay, the time has come for everyone to boycott Scandals. #scandalsisoverparty.
Yep, you heard me. I'm just as shocked as you are, but I have been wronged so deeply that I don't see any other option. What was meant to be a fun, harmless early Halloween themed night turned into a living hell.
Let me set the scene. I show up, I walk to the bar, I stand around looking coy & seductive until an old man offers to buy me a drink. Nothing out of the ordinary. And then it happens. The last few notes of Espresso fade out and fucking Ed Sheeran begins to play. Excuse you?! Ed Sheeran? At a gay bar? Is that meant to be the Halloween frights? I let it slide at first because maybe this DJ hit the wrong track on that Spotify playlist they call a DJ set, but then the next song starts. Mr Brightside. After that Uptown Funk. And that was my last straw. It was truly sickening.
So, until Scandals can get someone with taste, I think we should all boycott.
Side note; all of this is happening while I'm dressed as Lust For Life era Lana, a costume which no one seemed to recognise.
Don't worry, Sebastian. I'll make sure #scandalsisoverparty is trending after the next Fondue for Two episode. I also promise my Halloween event will have excellent music playing all night long. There's going to be a spooktacular DJ who I think everyone will love, if his late night horror ratings are anything to go by. Plus, my band will play and we happen to do a fantastic punk version of Please Please Please and Good Luck, Babe. It's times like this though, that I'm grateful for Babes in Akron. Their DJ never misses.
I feel like if you had gone there, people would've definitely recognized you.
idk, what i'm hearing is that the cigars would work, and you're the one trying to stop him from getting them. i'll talk to the man myself, see what he's feeling.
maybe. i usually think a call to cps is warranted for those people, but i guess you're right in that they do exist. ...depends on how much cash we're talking.
Oh, definitely, but at that point the kids are usually stuck with the name, unless they change it. Which is actually super hard to do, at least it was for me. I'm just glad my parents helped me as much as they could. What about $500? I wonder if I could get Sugar to donate some too for the cause.
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Right? I swear, every time his face appears on my screen, I just get rage. And not the good kind. The ugly kind where my face gets all jerky and blergh. You definitely got me all excited! I'm also dying to know all the deets. But, knowing how much a party takes to host, I'll simply not pry and patiently wait for the official invitation. Even if I'm pretty sure I already have the location down after some of your hints earlier.
At least I know what I'm getting you for Christmas this year...
I know that feeling well. I watched with Sam once and actually had to hold him back from punching the screen. Do you think if everyone just collectively glares at the television while he's on screen he'll just spontaneously combust? Thank you! I promise, it'll be worth the wait. Good, I hoped I wasn't being too subtle since I want people to pick some outfits that'll go good with the necessary accessories.
JESSE: This is brand new information.
JESSE: I didn't know he had addiction issues.
JESSE: That heavily depends on who else you're thinking of inviting.
BRITT: He doesn't like talking about them, but I think it's better to be open about them.
BRITT: Literally everyone.
BRITT: Well... almost everyone, but I suspect even without an invite, she'll show up anyways.
Winning. Not only in show choir 'cause you know The Troubletones will be absolutely be taking it all the way this year, but roller derby too. The Pinup Punks will be champions this year and as always, the Cheerios stay winning.
I rarely wear white socks or any whenever I'm out of uniform and happen to be wearing boat shoes so I guess that's not really going to be much of a problem for me? But — thank you for the heads up.
I've been so into House of the Dragon lately, I really want to dress up like a Targaryen but I fear I resemble much more of a Ser Criston Cole and that might result in Sam wanting to continuously punch me. You know I'm always prepared for a Brittany Pierce party! I mean, I'll never forget that one Gotcha Day rager you threw for Lord Tubbington back when we were still in high school.
Blaine! Are you saying you don't wear socks with your shoes? Actually, don't answer that. I'll just remind you that I warned you.
If you do that, I'll punch you too. That guy is so awful I really need him to get eaten by one of the dragons already, actually no, he'd probably upset their tummies. You better be! This one is going to be a can't miss. They all are, but this one more so! That one was off the charts, that spot of grass in the front yard of my parent's house still hasn't recovered.
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I'm not at liberty to say. What solos have you been getting lately, Brittany?
I think my pop culture knowledge is just fine! It's simply more niche. And entirely Broadway-focused. As for costumes, respectfully, I am no Seymour. Also, as much as I love cats, I don't know that I'd want to be one of the cats. Six has some fun costumes, Cabaret is a classic with a good revival, The Great Gatsby is delightfully extravagant... and there's always Audrey in Little Shop.
I'm also not at liberty to say. Actually, I can say that I have a killer dance solo.
Yeah, but that only works if you can at least use it for something cool like winning at trivia. If you say so, Rachel. But truth be told, I'm pretty sure the only person around here who could pull off this level of commitment is Sam. That's valid, plus I feel like Lord Tubbington would try hitting on you and I don't need another catfight happening between him and the missus. I had to look up like two of those, except Gatsby 'cause I know that one's a book and movie. You might have something with Six though, those outfits look amazing.
I know who thinks they're my biggest competition. @vasaint and @rachelhq But they'd both be wrong, my biggest competition will forever be Miss Britney Spears.
