ASad Losers Art Blog

Tags:

#my art -> it’s my art!

#left handed -> drawn with my non dominant hand

Dude I just had a crazy realization I think no one can save me except for myself. I feel like I have been failed by the lack of adequate mental health care in my country. I realize I have been waiting for someone that understands me perfectly and can force me into getting better but now I understand that there is no such person and I have to fix myself. Of course it would be nice if the healthcare system was better and if I had someone like that but neither of those things are in my control, and not having them will make it a million times harder for me to recover yet the truth is that I just have to fix myself. The way my mental health has really gone to complete shit these past few makes me question whether or not recovery is even possible for someone as fucked up as myself. Having multiple mental illnesses feels like a series of intricate knots that feel impossible to untangle and for me to get better. I feel like I’m constantly cycling between extreme existential anxiety and\ depression while also experiencing hopelessness and feelings of inadequacy and like such bad loneliness to the point of actual physical painand then the occasional burst of like erratic and nonsensical euphoria. I geuss what I’m saying is that my life is pretty sucky right now, but I can’t wait around for something or someone to change and fix me. It’s not really my fault I’m like this but I have the responsibility to make myself better now. Even tho it sucks. lol