chances

wordcount : 472

including : mentions of biyu and vincent, one mention of lihua and meilin ( her sisters )

warnings : xenophobia

summary : daiyu moves in.

note : this was supposed to be for q2 schedules, but i feel it still has some relevance.

if your group succeeds, that is. minhee still remembers those early days that lipstick’s future was up in the air, and the messier days still that they faced after goeun’s departure. regardless, she keeps on smiling. “and with that, let me introduce myself properly. lipstick’s minnie, reporting for picnic duty.” and with a mock salute, minhee sets herself to poking around at what was available to her, unearthing the juice in question. “ah, that’s just as good! we can pretend it’s wine.”

"i was, but i was a gold star trainee. i got to do a few covers." the fantasy festival was actually her first appearance to the public. the fact that minhee remembered her kind of surprised her. the older women obviously had a talent for remembering faces. "don’t worry about it." she said letting out a small laugh. "i hope your right." she didn’t really care when she’d debut and training wasn’t all that bad for her. but maybe things were different for minhee. “and i’ll keep that in mind."

wordcount : 475

summary : daiyu does her live for the vlive relay.

daiyu loved animals. big or small. furry or scaly. it didn’t matter. growing up she never had a pet in the house. it’s not that her parents wouldn’t allow her to have one. it’s just that somehow it just never happened. the only animals she got to be around are the pets her friends had. so when the animal shelter volunteer opportunity came up she knew she was going to be there.

"i’m not sure i’m cut out for this." at the moment she was to young to think about kids and marriage. she was just starting her career. but being around kids all day made her thankful that she wasn’t a mother. that she didn’t settle down with her high school sweetheart and have kids straight out of high school. it seemed her friends back home had decided to be moms and dads. while she decide to chase after her sister. she wonders if things would have been different had she stayed. had vince survived that night.

biyu had never once even considered what her sisters might feel about her leaving suddenly. it had never been about them, never half as much as spitting in the face of her caretakers. she’d never felt the need to give them a special goodbye. she’d just left, to pursue the neon lights and billboards she’d aspired to for so long. 

what did biyu even have to show for leaving? nothing, yet. a feature in a charm music video and now this, a photoshoot. huge whoop. was it worth leaving? would it have been worth leaving if she’d been good enough for wish? what about if chroma struck it big? would it ever be worth having caused her sister such pain? and what if chroma never hit it big? what if she was a faceless no one, trying to entertain people who simply didn’t care?

“yes?” she’s sobbing now, reaching out for her sister, to hold her, to comfort her. “i want you to value yourself so much no one else has to. i want you to make choices that are violently right for you. i want you to have ambition and everything you need to make your reality exactly what you want.” it was hard the speak through the crying, but she tried her best to still her voice enough to be understood. “i want you to be happy, and if i have a place in that, great, but i can’t imagine being someone with a strong effect in bettering your life. i’ll be with you as long as you’ll have me, but i will never stop wanting better for you.”

biyu has always had big aspirations. she chased after the glitz and glam of fame. and she was willing to do whatever it takes. go wherever she needed to go to get the chance of even a moment of spotlight. she knew her sister would some day outgrow detroit. it wasn’t a matter of if, but when. she sometimes wished that she alone could be enough to keep her sister there. but that was selfish. and despite knowing the day would come she was still shocked. shocked that she had left so soon. she didn’t have a right to know that her sister was leaving but she wish her sister would have loved her enough to tell her.

daiyu was content with her life. she had friends, a boyfriend, and a promising future. she had no reason to leave. but things change and she did too. her decision to leave for seoul despite being brash was still thought out. she couldn’t live the rest of her life without trying to seeing biyu one more time. and she knew if she didn’t try she would never see her again.

until now. kami looked up from her phone she heard someone speak to her. “are you trying to kill me?” she said it blunt enough that it was hard to tell if it was a joke or not. still, it was a strange thing to be asked by someone she didn’t know, speaking of, “i wouldn’t mind, i’m free but how do we know each other?” 

daiyu didn’t spend a lot of time outdoors, but she occasionally liked to spend a few hours in the park. and really there was no other place she could have a picnic. most of the time she went when it was quite. nothing but the trees blowing in the wind. but today she went in the afternoon wanting to soak up the last few hours of sunlight.

the answer was an easy yes. biyu hated herself, hated who she was, how she acted, and as much as she put on a show about how wonderful and glamorous she was, about how worthy of attention she was, her youth had strongly affected the way she viewed herself. she didn’t know how to begin to apologize to daiyu, wasn’t even sure there was a point in it when she knew she was only going to hurt her baby sister again. it felt inevitable. “you shouldn’t. i’m sorry you’ve invested so much in me. i…” love you was the natural finish to the sentence. she did. she loved her sister, and she felt bad for all she’d put her through, bt she had no right to say such a thing to her right then. “i would change the way i did things, if i could.” she amended. not that she’d left at all, granted, but the timing, the way she’d gone, with hardly a goodbye. 

tears sprung to biyu’s eyes, hot and wet. did daiyu really feel that way? had it been one of the adult of the family, biyu would have assumed this was some sick power play, but daiyu? her gentlest, kindest sister? the one who’d only ever wanted to love and be loved? she couldn’t even entertain the idea. “daiyu, i… i’m sorry for how i left things. i’m sorry you’ve had to do so much already, i never wanted this for you. the truth is, i’m selfish, but i don’t want you to suffer any more than you have already. if you really don’t want to be done with me, and i don’t blame you if you do, i’ll try so hard for you, but i’m afraid i’ll just hurt you. i’m not a good person, i’ll never be the sister you deserve, but i can try to be better than the shit pile i’ve been.”

daiyu doesn’t hate that her sister left. she would always support any dream she had. she’d be there on the sideline cheering her on. what she hates is how she left. one day she was there and the next day she was gone without a word. she spent her entire childhood chasing after her older sister who she loved so dearly. and her sister acted as if she didn’t even exist. it hurt her. not knowing why her sister never loved her. and then having her leave without even telling her.

after her sister left for seoul she leaned heavily on vince for support. he was her rock. her one constant thing. she always had her family but sometimes they weren’t enough. and when vince passed she no longer had that support. her entire world was shattered. her support system gone, leaving a gaping hole where he used to be. two people she held so dear were gone. and she couldn’t help but wonder if she was to blame. did she push biyu away? and was there anything she could have done to save vince? she do badly wanted to be dead in the months after the accident. it swallowed her along with the guilt. it took her years to build herself back up. and even now she’s still healing.

the question was kind of out of the blue, especially from a ... stranger? no. minhee’s expression remained vacant as she blinked at the girl, trying her best to place a name on her face. was she a fan? or maybe some kind of anti -- was the food even safe? no! wait a minute -- lightbulb. “aha! you’re one of the chroma girls, aren’t you? i’ve been trying to introduce myself to all of you, but i think i’ve only gotten to talk to the crystal girls so far.” unless she’d auditioned for bc to sabotage lipstick from the inside, minhee figured the food would be safe. probably. “a picnic sounds good though, did you bring prosecco?”

daiyu didn’t know a lot of idols outside of gold star. she barely knew the idols under gold star. not because she doesn’t want to, but because as a trainee she spent most of her days in the dance studio. when she wasn’t practicing she was at home sleeping. and on her days off she certainly wasn’t spending them at the company. she was pretty busy this month, but she feels it will only get worse after debut. she really didn’t mind practicing. it’s not like she had anything better to do. she came to seoul to be an idol. she had no roots here besides biyu so being an idol is all she had.

dowoon was easy to talk to. it almost came naturally. like they just clicked. they first met in california. it wasn’t surprising that that’s the first time she’s met him. she hasn’t really met a lot of idols. it was awkward to meet most senior artists. she was still waiting on debut while most of them have been in the industry for three plus years. how was she to compete. but when she was around dowoon she didn’t feel intimidated. she felt like she could be herself. there was no hiding around him.