broken & bred

yeah, maybe. this is just another rendition of his own truman’s show. 

but lately, it feels ridiculous how many times he’s forced to forage through the damn minuscule memory space he keeps for idols. another face, and another group — one of the groups, probably dimensions? or not, definitely not gold star. or at least, he doesn’t think.

it’s too much of a waste of time, empty efforts tangential to the amount he’s scraped away for the day. so, he just takes another sip of his coffee, littering away the time he has left before it’s time for his own name to be called to the set.

her voice is curt, not like he expected much. after all, she doesn’t owe him the time of day, just as he’s not obligated to linger around and partake in meager conversations either. but — he does anyway, for the sake of his manager wading somewhere a meter away. “that’s why you’ve ought to have some quicker reflexes to survive this place.” gyujeong’s voice remains blunt and flat, yet he somehow manages to carve out an edge, eyebrow perched at the mention of coffee. “this coffee wasn’t an offer — you should learn not to feel entitled to everything in life.” 

“you ought not tell me what to do.” if her irritation was at hinting level’s before, her displeasure was fully on her face now. rina wasn’t even sure if she knew who was speaking too. if he was a junior or a senior but she didn’t care. ‘i’ll work on dodging thing when you learn to not toss things.” if someone needed to work on anything, it was him. 

duri couldn’t help but to get a bit flustered, something he couldn’t even get used to whenever someone who say something of the nature. “ah, really?” he said, giggling happily. “thank you for looking up to me! it means a lot to me!” he said, his smile growing a bit more. “you’re admirable too! i think it takes a lot to really notice when something isn’t okay with yourself and taking care of it,” he says with a soft nod.

he followed along next to rina as they made their way to the restaurant. he nodded, a small giggle leaving his lips moments after. “i think i’d be okay with my feed being filled with only dog videos!” he said, a giggle leaving his lips again. he sits down at the table - it was always nice having a seat in the back, and duri luckily never felt stuffed in within a back area. “ah, really? thank you” he said, his smile growing a bit more. he looked over the menu for a few moments, before deciding. “i think i want sundubu jjiagae, that sounds good right now.”

“you deserve it.” duri was a pretty good role model. even if their roles in the their own groups were different, just as a person, he was someone that was worth looking up too. rina let out a little hum, nodding her head. “and i thank you~” she knew what she needed to work on, confidence was the main thing. something rina felt like she’d never get over at this point. maybe, getting older would help, she couldn’t see it for herself right now. 

“ah, good! i really like brightening people’s days!” he said, his smile growing a bit more. of course, duri would manage to have his bad days, it was rather normal. though, he still hid those days before the positivity, rather than letting his sadness or gloominess show - it was a lot better that way, truth be told. evidentially, that’s how he decided to handle things. he giggled happily, “thank you!” he says. 

joy was really just something great to have and duri really hoped that he was helping in giving that joy out. perhaps he never saved enough for himself, but that’s something that he was more than okay with - he liked making other happy. he nodded his head, “that sounds good with me!” he said, he grinned. duri wasn’t really ever worried about hanging out in public with others - after eleven years, he had gotten really good at being sneaky. he stood to his feet, a giggle leaving his lips after he listened. “i think… i’d end up being ultimately good with tik tok if i saw nothing but dog videos.”

“i really, really do look up to you.” she meant it, honestly. if there was someone who managed to keep their head above water and really managed to do it. his head wasn’t even just above the water, he was thriving. “you’re very welcome.”

he giggled softly, “i promise i’ll come visit during the promotion cycle too!” he said with a soft nod. “i think we might be promoting close to the same time?” he said, as he has another solo comeback coming back up. he just wasn’t sure if any overlapping was going to actually happen with such. plus, duri really liked candy’s title track and he’s proud that he wrote the lyrics, truth be told. 

duri nodded his head, a soft giggle leaving his lips. “that’s true! everyone can use a least a little joy. it’s always really really nice to have joy,” he says, his smile growing a bit more. “sure, i’ll come with you!” he says. “asap whoo woo woo woo asap whoo woo woo woo~” he sings, before he’s laughing softly. though, a nod leaves his head. “a lot of songs end up getting popular thanks to tik tok, from what i’ve heard! is tik tok a fun app? i don’t have it on my phone, but bc might want us to start using tik tok… so i might have to figure out how to work it,” he says, giggling at the thought.

“that would be welcome, you’ll brighten me up a bit.” that wasn’t something she doubted. duri managed to just be positive. rina didn’t doubt he had his dark days, anyone in this industry would have bad days. he seemed to be handling it well though and that’s what she could admire. “i’ll make sure you get vip access.” whatever could be bigger than him being a label mate and her senior. 

#famedbaseonline1.6: wc 561

1. v. bozeman - what is love / 2. lizzo - 'cuz i love you / 3. g.na - i'll get lost, you go your way / 4. yubin - silent movie / 5. wonder girls - gone / 6. wonder girls - draw me / 7. mfbty - angel / 8. wonder girls - sweet dreams / 9. wonder girls - back / 10. younha - parade / 11. 2pm - make it / 12. mfbty - sweet dream  / 13. j.y park - had enough parties / 14. big bang - tell me goodbye / 15. normani - waves ( *click to access playlist on youtube )

he doesn’t say anything for a second, physically focused on lifting up rina’s extensive amounts of cat-item-holding boxes. mentally, he was focused on a memory that cropped up, of being young and being desperate to prove he had money — that he could do things like the other kids, the things that he needed money to do. slipping his way into a movie theatre, only able to do so by merit of having been a pretty small kid, dodging both staff and friends. staff would throw him out. worse still, if his friends saw him, they would’ve known he’d been sneaking in, because he spent the last of his meagre allotted pocket money on getting his soccer cleats fixed. and maybe they’d have pitied him and paid for a ticket and shared their snacks with him. but for some reason, at nine years old, that seemed like the worst possible outcome.

he knows now, of course, that they weren’t stupid. they were just tactful — no, too pessimistic. they were his friends, so they didn’t tease him. plenty of other people did that for them, loudly jeering at him as they approached him in the goalie’s net, so he doesn’t know how he managed to convince himself that he kept it as any sort of secret. them never mentioning it was a kindness then.

“they will,” he said, quickly shaking away the cobwebs he’d been spinning. “they’re spoiled already and you haven’t even brought them home yet.” once they’d packed everything up and were sitting in rina’s car — he hoped they weren’t seen, car photos were notorious — he pulled out his phone and asked, all smiles again, “wanna see a picture of my dog?”

she smiled at this optimism. “at least someone feels good about it.” rina was nervous now that she had everything. now that everything would be set up. “cats are stranger animals, they love you when they love but you dislike you....always.” there were so many cat videos on the internet that she had consumed.

         everyone always had the things that they preferred, right? duri really preferred everything music, but he also really liked that on top of that he was also a model and variety star - those things were really fun to him. he smiled some more, “it’s no problem what so ever!” he said, his smile seemingly staying at that brightness that he currently had. it really must be really hard to get on stage when you were feeling that way and hoping you didn’t get as much center time. truth be told, duri couldn’t imagine it.  “ah, thank you!” he said, bowing a bit out of thanks. truth be told, it was really great out much songwriting would really do. 

“i’m really glad that whoever did the melody ended up making it a really upbeat song, because that’s what i had in mind when i wrote the song,” he says, giggling softly. “i really wanted to write something fun!” he said, giggling happily once again. “i really hope it’s a song that a lot of people enjoy because i had so much fun with the writing of it.”

“just what would i do without you this promotion cycle? nothing, that’s what.” at least she managed to past the test. not that there was a real test but she managed to hide the fact that she wasn’t into the song well enough. and as long as duri suspected nothing, rina could sleep peacefully at night, knowing she kept the peace. 

“we all need a little joy right?” as she asked, rina started to go around, collecting her things so she could pack up. “are you getting anything to eat? if you want to come with me, my treat. and you did write something fun, i really liked that little asap line. i think...it might be my favorite part and i’m sure it’ll do well, if nothing else, i think it’ll make some great meme’s.” quickly, she started to put her items away. “and isn’t that the way to go now? songs blowing on apps like tic tok and all of that?” 

“mhm! look, look, i found the picture!” after what felt like endless scrolling (just how much time and money did this guy spend at restaurants?), minhee had found the post with the sliders. she flipped her phone around to show rina. topped with that ridiculous username; foodie_222_________, the food in the photo looked so good — and so vivid, camera quality was crazy good these days — that minhee wished she could just take it out of her phone and eat it there and then. brainwave moment, minhee just remembered something. excitedly, she slammed down her phone, screen first, and reached across the table for rina’s hands. “have you heard about that crazy new tech? you know they’re, like, making a screen or something that you can taste stuff on. like, you’d have to lick it, so i guess people are gonna have to buy their own to use them. otherwise it would be so gross. but you could totally make it so your menus have little qr codes or something that bring up the food on your… tasting device! and then people can try before they buy!” minhee tapped her temple with a victorious look on her face. “i’m going to patent this.” no, she wasn’t.

she laughed at the scene rina was painting. “oh, but if it looks like a movie, can’t it follow movie logic too? that way, all the ceos will crumble, and all the office workers will rise up and save the day. an underdog story! — ah, you did? that’s so cool. i’ve always wondered if i’d be a good actor or not… but everyone seems to think no. and i agree, to be honest. i’m not even sure i should be a lead vocal in lily.” and with that inadequacy to focus on, she had no time for acting practice. “do you really find the characters you play stick with you? who’s your favourite you’ve played?”

watching minhee go on, it felt good to just sit and listen. honestly, she could do that for a while but it seemed like she should be apart of the conversation. rina leaned in a bit, looking at the picture. "it is a good photo, i barely put time into making my selfie's look good, let alone the food." another reason she rarely posted photos, it took too much time and she didn't feel good about not letting it look perfect. it took a moment to process everything minhee said, but when she did, rina couldn't stop the laugh that slipped out of her mouth. "honestly, that's amazing, while i don't think i'd be into it...i am very interested in seeing how that would work." she shrugged her shoulders, still giggling. "but honestly, you should. the world is moving at a fast pace, it might seem silly now but hey, going to the moon also seemed a impossible, you might be onto something."

         duri had been really excited about the fact that he had written a title track for candy. it was like another dream accomplished of the things that he wanted to do, especially within his own songwriting career. truth be told, he didn’t think the song that he wrote would be chosen, but he was proven wrong with bc entertainment called him to a meeting to tell him the song was being used for a title track. he was really happy with it, to say the least.

“i tend to not really help with the lines! but i do tend to note what i had in mind, since i tend to think about every group member when i write a song for a group! so, i hope that helped out in the end,” he said, smiling a bit more. he nodded his head, “ah, i got to see the dance and it’s a lot of fun!” he said, giggling happily. “what do you think about the song?”

she was an actress for a reason, that was the first thought that poped into her mind when duri asked her. at least she had some time to work up to that response. "either way, thank you." duri didn't know how much of a help he was but he was a huge help. just based on the lines, she had an idea of her blocking and she wouldn't be front and center for the song. that would work out in her favor as well. a small giggle left her mouth, "i think it's a bit silly but it works...honestly, you're song makes it work."

and with that, she could lead into the song. and it was a great way to start, something she could build on. "i really enjoy it." it was a bit of a lie, just a little extra hype. "it's a fun song, i didn't know where it was going to go at first...like it could be super upbeat or chill upbeat based on the intro and whatever that extra little kick is in the chorus...i really, really like that." now, that wasn't a lie. "and that little part were say asap...just the entire feel of that part."

“oh, you do that too?” minhee chirped, mirroring rina as she dropped her head to the side too. “like, just order off other people’s recommendations? i always wanna know what the best thing is in a place, so i check all the reviews and things on my way and see if it sounds like something i’d like. that’s why i went for the sliders, so if you don’t like them, blame…” minhee held up one finger, indicating for rina to wait as she picked up her phone and dug through her search history. “uh, here! if you don’t like them, blame user foodie-underscore-222-underscore-underscore-undersc… there’s a lot of underscores at the end of their username. but their pics of them looked real good! so i trusted them, despite that username choice.” what minhee, who had one underscore in her instagram handle, had against all of the ones in theirs exactly was unclear.

she laughed along with rina, nodding enthusiastically the whole time. at boom she sat back and made mini explosion noises with her mouth, and exaggerated explosion gestures with her hands. “you make it sound like something out of an action movie! with everyone running around the offices and papers flying everywhere while the camera pans by.” from then on, she decided she would be subscribing to rina’s versions of the night’s events. “you did an action movie last year, right? i think it messed up your brain.”

“yeah, especially when it’s some place really new.” she could take time to look at the meu and she would but right now? she didn’t have to think much about it. a small chuckle left her mouth and rina nodded, “got it, if i don’t like this...i’ll make sure to blame that user.” she didn’t read reviews though, not for this place at least. “but i trust that you had good judgement when going with foodie-nderscore-222 and a bunch of underscore.” 

and dowoon just had to smile. as cynical as he could be, he was always happy to be proven wrong by the world. his cynicism wasn’t something that meant he was a massive downer when it came to his philosophy on the world in general; it was more so a protective barrier he could keep around himself. that way, he never got disappointed. “yeah? that’s nice to hear.” dowoon knew a lot of people – other idols, seniors specifically – to see and knew the names that matched their faces for purposes of making himself and catalyst look good, but he didn’t think that most of them could say his name back to him. catalyst, sure, they would probably be able to identify by their six collective faces, and the stupid edgy futuristic outfits they got put in for promotions, but kim d.w. dowoon himself? no. nobody in the industry was going to jump in and save his ass anytime soon. (realistically, they would. at least one or two would, or they had already. dowoon had just convinced himself otherwise.) “gotta keep it in the family, i guess.”

‘family’ was a total misnomer, of course. he breathed a laugh out though his nose at the words as they left his mouth.

“sounds good. – oh. it’s cats?” feline friends were slightly less interesting to dowoon than dogs, but only slightly. he was still happy to help. any disappointment in his voice was offset by him bending down with his knees to hoist rina’s shopping up into his arms. “right. where’s your car? …or am i walking back to your place with all this?”

“yeah, it’s nice to know that people are willing to help an save you from the panic of trying to prove you do have money.” her attention switched between the idol next to her, her items and the cashier. finally, when everything was good, rina let out a small whistle at the price, a laugh following dowoon’s words. “i hope that the cats love everything i got.” if they didn’t, she could do something with all of this, surely. 

not yet at least. “i don’t know if you helped with lines but i thank you for the ones i have.” not too many, just enough. she could be seen when she needed to be seen and fade into the background once it was time. “i even like the little dance we do.” she mimicked the arm movements. it looked a little strange but it was fun in the context of the stage. 

minhee, by nature, was an adventurer. unfortunately, her adventures stayed primarily confined within seoul’s sprawling city limits. on the rare occasion that she found herself somewhere else, it was usually a work thing. her discoveries there, then, were work related, or were brief excursions in pockets of time that were too small to really do anything. she had the time to shop on one street, or to get a photo standing on a pretty bridge, but never anything more than that before her manager’s number flashed up on her phone. once that happened, she was forced back to her hotel room, where she availed of room service and mini fridge benefits while she looked at pictures on her phone of bars she wished she was drinking at instead.

and so, on a rare day that she could, she took herself on a date to a pop up spot just outside of the city for no reason other than that she could. it was lonelier than she’d anticipated, despite the busy bustling bodies in the seats. rina’s appearance was a welcome surprise. 

“the food is meant to be legendary though. i ordered a prawn slider on a brioche bun.” her soda had already been dropped down, when the waiter popped by with rina’s menu. minhee opened it with a hum that failed to dampen the sharp click noise of the can breaking open. she rubbed her ears protectively with the heel of her palm. “huh? a sting operation? … i mean, why?” and maybe it was naive of her, but, “i really don’t think it’s that serious. you make it sound like there’s some anti-kpop mastermind plotting something.”

“really?” she titled her head to the side, looking over the menu again. thankfully, she was saved from really having to think about it. “then, i’ll try that, thank you.” minhee might not have meant to help but she did in the end, rina didn’t have to think about what she wanted. when the server return, rina rattled off her order, including a coke and glanced at minhee. 

candy never slowed down, not really, there was always work in the wings that would be waiting for them. and this week? it was their comeback. not too many songs this time around but it didn't mean nari really enjoyed it, if there was a way to just get it done and perfect in one go, she would buy it.

that idea might've been simple for some people but it was always hard for her.

she could admit that to herself. maybe because she walked into the studio a bit nervous, it didn't help. only a few things really liked, when it came to 'so what' there was a bonus of really liking the song. it leaned sweet but it wasn't too much. there was a balance between the verses and chorus that she could lost in. the amount of lines also helped, most of her lines were short. there wasn't much to mess up while she was in the booth, even the section of her wrap was small and it helped her get in and out quickly.

'love fool' took a bit of time to get into, personally, even in the demo. it was a bit boring at the start for her at least and she loved a good ballad but it picked up in the middle. there was a little more singing on her part, working on using her lower voice. it wouldn't ever be deep but it took a few recordings to strike the exact note that the producers were looking for. during her rap-singish lines, they wanted something that sounded a little bit lazy and that easy in her eyes.

then they wanted it to sound a little cool at the same time and she could admit, that was a bit of a struggle. overall though, for this song, rina didn't find herself in the studio for long. and that was the way she loved it, so it worked out in the end.

and then it was time to work on the title.

and it was something rina dreaded as she walked into the booth. but this was the final recording for her and she managed to do well here, it'd be easy to move on. it didn't help that their title wasn't a song she loved. there were movements but overall, it wasn't something she could find herself listening to in her off time.

"a little more sass." the words came through and rina gave a thumbs up to show that she heard them.