Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time

There seems to be a lot of people going through stressful times right now, and it can happen to anyone. So always be there for each other and look out for anyone who might need your help or a shoulder.

Be genuine in who you are and feel no shame about caring.

Those who mock, criticise or try to read selfish motives into your actions are judging you by their own shallowness, so let them go. If you surround yourself with shallow people then you wont have anywhere deep to plant your flagpole ... so when you show the colours of your flag it will fall and end up in the mud which will...

erm...

Ok so I've lost track of this metaphor, but what I'm saying is that I am a firm believer in the self fulfilling prophecy. If you don't give your heart and trust to your friends then you wont have any friends who are worth giving them to.

*Karma Is Coming After Me*

I stole someone's car and drove into the cops

I ran into a window while stealing from the shops

My attempts at thievery are all a load of flops

Karma is coming after me, yes it is

Karma is coming after me

  I went to kick a cat but my shoe lost it's grip

My balance was all gone and my foot started to slip

As my legs went different ways I heard a loud rip

Karma is coming after me, have no doubt

Karma is coming after me

  I criticise everyone to make them feel small

I say they have no talent, are to fat or short or tall

And when I look around I find I have no friends at all

Karma is coming after me, every day

Karma is coming after me

  I never give my money to any charity

I keep every penny I have just for me

I've lost 27 wallets since 2003

Karma is coming after me, once again

Karma is coming after me

  I always use my car to splash the people on the verge

When I see a massive puddle I just can't fight the urge

I didn't know the bridge was out so now my car's submerged

Karma is coming after me, yes it is

Karma is coming after me

    *OAP With Attitude*

  I've reached a late part in my time, my life has past me by

All I've left or so I'm told is just to wait to die

But even so I'm not sure that I want to say goodbye

And anyway I'm only 83

My relatives all gather round and tell me to stay still

'You should take it easy now' and 'have you made your will? '

But I'll not stop until I've lived every single thrill

You haven't seen the last of me

  I'm an OAP with attitude a biddy on the boil

I'm meant to have a garden on which to scrape and toil

But I can't stand bloody plants or digging bloody soil

Cos I'm an OAP with attitude a biddy on the boil

  I took up scuba diving exploring corral reef

I took up hang gliding and frightened those beneath

I took up bungee jumping and lost three sets of teeth

But you can't stop me now

Driving lots of fast cars and running every light

Going to the dance clubs and raving every night

Going to the football and starting every fight

Everything my bladder will allow

  I'm an OAP with attitude a geriatric guy

I'm gonna pass every test until I touch the sky

I'm gonna do all sorts of things and never wonder why

Cos I'm an OAP with attitude a geriatric guy

    *The Anti-Shanty*

  Gather round I'll tell a tale

The saddest tale I've told

Will make you weep and sniffle

And your blood will run so cold

About a forsaken journey

Of which I dare not boast

When a few of us set out

On a drive to the coast me boys

On a drive to the coast

  The sun was hanging heavy

The clouds were scurrying round

We'd packed up drink and sandwiches

And soon were south east bound

We had our kite and towels

So we could paddle away

But as we hit the road

The sky went a dark grey me pals

The sky went a dark grey

  Then the rain came pouring

Drowning out our dreams

Of laying on the beach

And eating cool ice creams

'it may clear up when we're there'

Our driver said with hope

But our spirits were so beaten

We didn't believe that dope me lads

We didn't believe that dope

  But the rain kept on coming

And curses crossed our lips

As we stood in the beach bus shelter

Eating bags of soggy chips

The crazy golf was closed

The view was wet and bleak

So we all got back in the car

We'll try again next week me boys