the signs as weird f. scott fitzgerald things
aquarius: the time he stood on a window ledge reciting poetry and almost jumped out
aries: the time he threatened to jump out a window to prove his love for james joyce
taurus: finding out where hemingway moved to and showing up at his doorstep in the middle of the night drunk
gemini: the egg yolks he'd put in his friends' hats as a prank
cancer: leaving bowls of money out at parties for people to take
leo: the time his school paper publicly wrote about him, "will someone poison scotty or find some means to shut his mouth?"
virgo: only getting into college because he wrote the admission board that it was his birthday and they felt sorry for him
libra: eating ice cream for breakfast and fudge for dinner
scorpio: bringing a suitcase filled solely with coca cola bottles to work when he was trying to quit drinking
sagittarius: the time in the army he was caught naked with a girl by one of his superiors and tried to bribe him with a one dollar bill folded to look like a hundred
capricorn: when he dropped out of college he tried saying it was because of his tuberculosis but really he was failing every single class
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