Alice

im alive but only ironically

i b like “goodmorning<33” then go back to sleep 3 times

Me when I get in bed: ooooh I’m a warm little bich!!!

research shows that girls love to go to bed

you know when you’re a child and you’re like what’s the big deal what’s so wrong with leaving dirty dishes in the sink and then you’re an adult and the presence of dirty dishes that the other adults in the dwelling have left in the sink makes you homicidal

sharks every time theres a cataclysmic extinction event: damn thats crazy. anyway

Good thing I’m so smooth

i usually hate true crime documetary type things bc theyre all “lets get into the MIND of the serial killer…. tortured soul” or whatever but i like the buzzfeed unsolved stuff bc theyre just like “what a freak lmao”

petition to change all of academia’s “et al” to “& besties”

*transports guinea pigs from point A to point B with my mind*

marzipan i am so fcking sorry ill never forgivve myself for doing this to you im so so fcking sorry