My dominatrix life coach isn’t afraid to hurt my feelings – she’s brutally honest and has no time for my excuses
THIS right there best represents MY kink as a Dominant.
I am not a Dominant because I can top a sub and use torture implements. I am a Dominant because I have forward drive, a constant sense of direction. I observe, analyse and problem-solve nonstop; I take notes and utilize them. I am a scientist and a hunter. Sure, that's the energy I have with sex, but it goes far beyond that. Ultimately, I don't want my Dominance to be a sexy weekend party, a distraction, an escape from life. I love when it is part of a real life improvement, pushing through limits in order to live a better, deeper, more authentic life. It's not a sexy game to me. It is an inspiration and drive to always be more real.
A scene is finite. Games have set rules.
Uniquely Rika, by Ms. Rika has some good advice. We stumbled into many of aspects of her wisdom. Most kinky acts are “gifts” to the submissive, not the dominant. You don’t need to live a transactional relationship. I do this, you do this. Those are rules of a game.
She speaks about a foundational relationship. It’s been a while since I’ve read it, so I’m paraphrasing heavily.
You can be playful without it being a game.
When my own submission became real, it became more durable.
It’s better when it’s sustainable. Not something that exhausts you, or becomes a burden or demand. It’s best when it makes you better.
And really it’s just about being yourself, embracing yourself and loving yourself who you most naturally are.
I might be haring off in a random direction here. :)
You can be playful without it being a game.
This is my spirit right there. I enjoy humour and pleasure, I have a strong sense of wonder.. but I never enjoyed games or roleplay. I love puzzles though; tinkering, exploring and figuring out solutions. One is not better than the other, and they can be blended together, but what feeds my soul and ultimately excites me is the latter.
I really ought to read that book. You have mentioned it several times before but I keep forgetting to go find it. It sounds like a spirit I could relate to.
For all, here’s a link to book on Lulu.com
This is NOT your typical D/s manual. Uniquely Rika provides a practical, intelligent, common-sense approach to adding D/s to your relations
This is NOT your typical D/s manual. Uniquely Rika provides a practical, intelligent, common-sense approach to adding D/s to your relationship; with long-termed success. You’ll see how fulfilling the inner desire to serve or be served is within your reach - without having to mask yourself in artificial roles and games.
Ms. Rika explains why several popular approaches fail to last. She then details her approach to creating successful D/s relationships; one which has proven as effective with seasoned D/s players as with those who never thought themselves to be a ‘dominant’ or ‘submissive’.
Regardless of your experience level, Uniquely Rika will provide a new insight, a heightened awareness, and a fresh perspective on D/s that will enhance your relationships, forever. Though written from the ‘female-led’ perspective, the concepts are applicable to any loving partners.
If you’re serious about a lasting and meaningful D/s-based relationship, you’ll want to read “Uniquely Rika”.
Only for those that want it for real. 24/7 like I do.


















