flower crowns and kittens

As Norman spoke, Maddie sunk into the lumpy chair. Her eyes closing and a lump in her throat intensifying her need to cry. She didn’t want to not be friends either.. yet she couldn’t bring herself to say anything- all she could do was just sit and listen to him talk and let a pang of longing settle into her chest. A longing for what, though? She wasn’t sure.

His question caught her by surprise. Her eyes opened and she swallowed. “What? I mean.. why? That’s..” For someone who normally had no problem expressing things, she was certainly having a huge issue with words in that moment. “Fuck, Norman. Why would you even ask me that?”

Sure, Sean was attractive in some weird dumb puppy kind of way, and banter was usually foreplay in her books but.. She’d honestly never considered why she fed into Sean’s attention so much. Why she seemed to gravitate towards him. She gravitated towards both of them, but in such different ways.

She couldn’t say yes to his question, but she couldn’t say no either. Which made the pang in her chest crush down just a little bit. Why was Norman putting them both through this?

She couldn’t dwell on Sean though. Norman’s continued words drew Maddie right back into the moment between them, and she set her hostility towards Sean aside. Closing her eyes again, she took a slow, steadying breath. There was no way she could deny it now- she was crying. Heavy tears rolling down her cheeks. She’d always known Norman’s life was... wasn’t great. But to hear him say it. It was too much.

It was a lot of pressure to be the only reason someone was happy.

“Norman.” She swallowed again, hoping he couldn’t tell she was crying. “I don’t even know where to start with all the bullshit you’ve just sprouted.” Her tone was soft, it didn’t match her words. “But for one, I’ve never given Sean any reason to think I’d ever even be remotely interested in him at all. His weird future fantasy is all in his head. And frankly I’m surprised a smart guy like yourself couldn’t see he was full of shit.”

‘Actually, I don’t want to talk to you.’

Those words hit her hard like a punch to the gut. Leaving a stinging sensation behind her eyes that she refused to admit was the need to cry. Truth be told, knowing Norman didn’t want to talk to her broke her heart. Maybe she deserved it though, maybe her heart break now was karma for how she made him feel last night. Fuck. Feelings just messed everyting up.

“Great, because I don’t have time to talk anyway. Only rang you back because-“ Because why, Maddie? Because you were worried something was actually wrong and you couldn’t live with yourself if you didn’t answer when he really needed you? As if she was going to admit that to herself, or him. As if she was going to say something that might make it pretty clear that Norman wasn’t the only one feeling the thing.

“Anyway, whatever.” She cut her sentence off short. She should just hang up the phone, but the stubborn part of Maddie refused. If he didn’t want to talk to her, he was going to have to end the call.

His question caught her by surprise. Her eyes opened and she swallowed. “What? I mean.. why? That’s..” For someone who normally had no problem expressing things, she was certainly having a huge issue with words in that moment. “Fuck, Norman. Why would you even ask me that?”

Sure, Sean was attractive in some weird dumb puppy kind of way, and banter was usually foreplay in her books but.. She’d honestly never considered why she fed into Sean’s attention so much. Why she seemed to gravitate towards him. She gravitated towards both of them, but in such different ways.

Norman’s greeting (or lack there of) caused Maddie to roll her eyes so hard she was sure he would hear them through the phone. What the fuck was his problem? Just because he was stupid enough to say a dumb thing that should have stayed unspoken between them, now she had to suffer through his attitude? Screw that. She hadn’t asked for any of this.

Okay well technically she had asked him the question, but he should have known he wasn’t supposed to answer honestly. And this, right now, was exactly why. Normally their phone calls were started by one of them launching into some story or deep thought they needed to share with the other and now all because of Norman’s stupid congestion, they were left with this.

“What’s up?” She repeatee back to him, her tone a clear indication that she was in no mood to play this game with him. “You called me, bucko. I’m only doing the decent human thing of calling you back.” Part of Maddie felt like wincing at her own tone. She was being way too hard on him. Blaming him for feelings that weren’t even his fault. Feelings that she knew full well she played an active part in feeding into. Seriously though, what else was she supposed to do?

Those words hit her hard like a punch to the gut. Leaving a stinging sensation behind her eyes that she refused to admit was the need to cry. Truth be told, knowing Norman didn’t want to talk to her broke her heart. Maybe she deserved it though, maybe her heart break now was karma for how she made him feel last night. Fuck. Feelings just messed everyting up.

“Great, because I don’t have time to talk anyway. Only rang you back because-“ Because why, Maddie? Because you were worried something was actually wrong and you couldn’t live with yourself if you didn’t answer when he really needed you? As if she was going to admit that to herself, or him. As if she was going to say something that might make it pretty clear that Norman wasn’t the only one feeling the thing.

The sound of her phone woke her from her uncomfortable sleep. It took her a moment to blink awake and remember where she was- slumped on the old arm chair in her father’s office. She’d done the only thing that made any sense last night.. Gone to see her father. She’d brought him a late night snack and he’d let her sit in silence without trying to pry out of her what was wrong. She wasn’t sure what time she even fell asleep, but the headache already pounding in her brain suggested she hadn’t slept for long. Her father was out of his office, she could see through the glass window separating his office from the rest of the station that he was talking to some other officers.

Looking down at her phone, her stomach lurched as she saw the name flash up on her screen. Before she could answer it, the ringing stopped. Panic twisted in her stomach, her first thought being that something was wrong. Without hesitation, she dialed back.

“Pick up, you fucker…”

Okay well technically she had asked him the question, but he should have known he wasn’t supposed to answer honestly. And this, right now, was exactly why. Normally their phone calls were started by one of them launching into some story or deep thought they needed to share with the other and now all because of Norman’s stupid congestion, they were left with this.

Julia Michaels / “Issues”

Her eyes roll as she crosses her arms over her chest and sighs dramatically, unable to believe the fact that Ruby was being so complicated. There was never going to be any winning here. Ruby was going to do what she wanted, whenever she wanted and was always the type to do what she wanted whenever she wanted. Claudia was aware of that and probably should have been aware of that when she brought up the subject that had made Ruby so mad. And while Claudia wasn’t forcing Ruby not to go to Claudia’s mother’s party, apparently Ruby wanted to go and didn’t like Claudia telling her that she shouldn’t. “Woah, woah - calm down, princess. Never said you couldn’t go. Just said I’d like it if you stayed with me.” Her lips quirk to the side and she taps her fingers over her crossed arms. “But go if you want. I’m not stopping you - but just know, you’d have a lot more fun with me.”